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Things people do that make you laugh?

Started by Trevor, April 03, 2009, 04:35:27 AM

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Wag

Quote from: The DarkSider on April 04, 2009, 08:33:27 PM
Its pretty obvious from other posts on this board that I find people falling really funny.  Especially the elderly. 

You and Circus have that in common then, it seems. I personally don't think it's any more funny when the elderly fall than when others fall. It depends on the fall too - I saw a woman slip on a piece of meat and potato pie in a shopping centre (mall??) and her legs went maybe six foot in the air and she fell on her back. That was spectacular and very funny.

People I have worked with get sayings and words confused which makes me laugh.

Favourites include a girl I work with who apologised as she was driving "erotically", a woman at my last job who said of a service user that "he came running back with his hands between his legs" and a man I work with saying "he stood there with a grunt on his face", "I wouldn't trust him with a barge pole", and many more.
Where the hell is that soothing music coming from?

the ghoul

#16
There are lots, but here's a few that I can think of at the moment.

Grown adults (especially when it's a man) who say "bye bye" to other grown adults when talking on the phone or in person.

People with gigantic butts.

Women who wear sweat pants with words across their butt, whether it's gigantic or not, but especially if it's gigantic.

People who wear baseball caps sideways.  I guess wearing them backwards isn't quite "dope" enough for them.  Personally, I don't like baseball caps at all.  Wearing them backwards or sideways just makes them exponentially more stupid.

Women who wear shirts with "hottie" or the equivalent written on them.  Usually the women who wear these aren't even hot, but even if they are, they are still proudly announcing to the world that they are a conceited b***h and warning any man with sense to stay far away.  I guess in a way they are doing us all a favor.

The way we commonly state the obvious without even realizing it.  For example, why do we say "o'clock" when we are telling someone the time?  Is there any other kind of time?  Ever heard of 7 o'refrigerator or 6 o'toilet?  Nope.

People who wear "snazzy" ties.  Ties are not "cool."  If you have to wear one, the best you can possibly do is to just wear a plain black one.  It just gets dorkier and dorkier the further you deviate from that. 

One time while eating at a diner, I saw this elderly man with a big old hook nose drinking a cup of coffee at a table nearby.  After each sip of coffee, it would be dripping from the end of his nose.  He acted oblivious  -didn't even bother wiping it off.  It took all the strength I had to keep from bursting out with laughter.

ghouck

One of the biggest laughs I get is from people that are trying to get me to hire them. I work in a prison, and all my employees are inmates, which makes for some stuff that I laugh at, probably as a defense mechanism. One that comes to mind is that on my shop's applications, there is a section for "pre-incarceration work history" and "Institutional work history", where an applicant can list jobs they've worked OUTSIDE and INSIDE of prison. Atypical application looks like this:

1991-1992: Worked at taco bell
1992-1993: Kitchen worker at Lemon Creek Correctional Center
1993-1994: Laborer for Joe Blow construction
1994-1995: Laundery Worker at Wildwood Correctional Center
1995-1996: Carpet installer for John Blow carpets
1996-1997: Lawn worker at Highland Mountain Correctional Center
1997-1998: Fry cook at McDonalds
1999-2000: Janitor at Spring Creek Correctional Center
2000-2001: Attendant at Jim Blow's Car Wash
2001-2002: Janitor at Spring Creek Correctional Center
2002-2003: Bus Boy at Joe's Diner
2003-2004: Laundry Worker at Wildwood Correctional Center
2004-2005: Bellhop at Hotel X
2005-2006: Kitchen worker at Spring Creek Correctional Center
2006-2007: Drove Taxi Cab
2007-2008: kitchen worker at Wildwood Correctional Center

Notice that the work history shows a pattern of out of prison, in prison, out, in, out, in, etc? Think about that, and realize how hard it is for me to keep from laughing when I ask the question: "What skills do you have that would be useful here", and their answer is: "I'm a fast learner. . ."
Raw bacon is GREAT! It's like regular bacon, only faster, and it doesn't burn the roof of your mouth!

Happiness is green text in the "Stuff To Watch For" section.

James James: The man so nice, they named him twice.

"Aw man, this thong is chafing my balls" -Lloyd Kaufman in Poultrygeist.

"There's always time for lubricant" -Orlando Jones in Evolution

Psycho Circus

Quote from: the ghoul on April 06, 2009, 06:08:31 PM
The way we commonly state the obvious without even realizing it.  For example, why do we say "o'clock" when we are telling someone the time?  Is there any other kind of time?  Ever heard of 7 o'refrigerator or 6 o'toilet?  Nope.

LOL!  :bouncegiggle: