Your favorite WTF lines in books?

[Trevor]

From L. Neill Smith's The Probability Broach:

The place was freshly painted and didn't smell of p**s like the rest of the building. 

From David Westheimer's Von Ryan's Return:

One of the characters has frostbite in his foot and a partisan attends to him:

"Dentista."
"What does a bloody dentist know about feet?"
(Dentist massages foot)
"Oh, that's lovely."

[BoyScoutKevin]

Here's my contribution.

A number of years ago, I was waiting for the local subway, which no longer exists, to downtown, and reading . . .

Smith and Rovich's
"Enterprise by the Board"

. . . and I came upon this WTF moment in the book.

"Shoot low, Sheriff." Mayweather said. "The Martians are riding ponies."

I don't know why this tickled my funny bone, but I started laughing so hard, I almost fell off of the subway platform onto the tracks below. Fortunately, I was the only one standing on the platform at that time.

[Flangepart]

Here's my contribution.

A number of years ago, I was waiting for the local subway, which no longer exists, to downtown, and reading . . .

Smith and Rovich's
"Enterprise by the Board"

. . . and I came upon this WTF moment in the book.

"Shoot low, Sheriff." Mayweather said. "The Martians are riding ponies."

I don't know why this tickled my funny bone, but I started laughing so hard, I almost fell off of the subway platform onto the tracks below. Fortunately, I was the only one standing on the platform at that time.

And you didn't Sig that? What wrong wit you, baw?

[Josso]

Pretty much all of Naked Lunch by William Burroughs

[indianasmith]

One of Dave Barry's best lines in DAVE BARRY HITS BELOW THE BELTWAY:
"England was ruled by a bunch of hifalutin' aristocrats who wouldn't know a heifer if they woke up in bed with one . . . which they frequently did."