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The Maine Temperature Conversion Chart

Started by ER, January 04, 2019, 05:04:11 PM

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ER

The Maine Temperature Conversion Chart:

60 degrees above zero: Texans wear coats, gloves, woolly hats; people in
Maine sunbathe in the buff....

50 degrees above zero: New Yorkers turn on the heat; people in Maine put on
shorts and plant gardens....

40 degrees above zero: In Louisiana, cars won't start; in Maine, people
drive on I-95 with the windows down....

32 degrees: Water freezes; at outdoor swimming parties in Maine, people
pause to notice the water MIGHT have gotten a little thicker during the
night....

20 degrees above zero: In Phoenix, a State of Emergency is declared and the
National Guard is called out; in Maine, people have the last cookout before
it gets cold...

15 degrees above zero: In Alaska, people crank up their heat; in Maine,
people toss on a light sweater....

0 degrees: Californians flee screaming to Mexico; in Maine, pranksters
undertake the state sport of tricking drunks into licking flagpoles...

20 degrees below zero: Floridians mysteriously cease to exist; in Maine
people lazily don their winter coats....

40 degrees below zero: Texas freezes solid!!!!!; in Maine, Girl Scouts begin
their door-to-door cookie sales...

60 degrees below zero: Santa Claus evacuates the North Pole; in Maine, the
Boy Scouts postpone their "Winter Survival" course until it gets cold
enough....

100 degrees below zero: Lava freezes in mid-floe; in Maine, cows are miffed
at dairy farmer's cold hands.....

460 degrees below zero: All molecular motion should cease, but in Maine,
people laconically inquire, "Cold nuff fo' yuh????"

500 below: Hell freezes over...coincidentally, in Maine, old Yankees quit
saying, "A-yuh....."
What does not kill me makes me stranger.