Chuck Norris is kickin' ass for The Lord!

[Chadzilla]

Now I am an Unapologetic Chuck Norris freak, but his latest post-Walker, Texas Ranger project, titled http://www.chucknorris.com/html/bellsfl.html>Bells of Innocence, leaves me slack jawed.  His son Mike evidently co-wrote and helped poduce this tale of three men gaining supernatural powers to fight Lucifer in small town Texas. Can't wait until the reaction over at Jabootu!

[Cullen]

"Hellbound 2: Hellbounder?"
_____________________________________________________________________
I know, it's not a sequel.  Or a remake.  Just sounds like one.

I like Chuck Norris.  I like fantasy films.  I'm just not sure the two should mix.

Like ever.

At least its not "Top Dog 2," right?

[J.R.]

Yeah, Chuck's at his worst whenever he plays a mountain man/Indian mystic/spiritual-type guy. He should just stick to cops and military guys that like to kick people in the gut.

[The Bard]

I had a friend that was from Texas, and he was telling me how insanely lax the Texas concealed weapon laws are. I never understood why in the show NO ONE Ever freaken shot him? How come every criminal in Texas was unarmed? Why did every criminal have some sort of honor system where he threw down his weapon to fight fist to fist.

At the very least they should have shot the Tolken Black guy a few times. I could never stop the Blazing Saddles references when forced to watch Texas Ranger.

[Steven Millan]

         Yep,this is all true,since Chuck Norris is now a Christian,and happily married with children(it kinda sounds like his last feature film,the Christian-esque kiddie/action movie "Forest Warrior").
          It may be a Christian-financied(and distributed)upcoming film(the only independent genre films in  nationwide theaters theses days),but at least Chuck is back working on some new movies(even if he's not doing homages to his classic 70s/early 80s movies)....but,hey:it(the current movies)'s still Chuck Norris.

[Squishy]

Nobody shot Walker for the same reason they aimed their kicks several inches over his head. Grampa can't move like he used to, so he needs a handicap.

I'm waiting for the movie in which Chuck Norris's hard-boiled kitten-hugging detective character is crucified, dies, then is resurrected after three days and ascends to Heaven. (After beating the crap out of a bunch of "ethnics," of course.) I'd call it They Saved Billy Jack's Ego.

[J.R.]

It all started with The Hitman, where Chuck helped a troubled youth build model airplanes. Then every episode of Walker involved a troubled youth. Then every episode involved some weird Indian medicine man or spiritual message. And now he's a full-blown Jesus Freak and his films reflect that. Because, apparently, the Lamb Of God encourages kicking people of different color in the stomach.

[Neville]

I hate Chuck Norris and I have repeately attacked him in this phorum, but since words can't hurt him... Well, I am afraid this upcoming insane movie is not even original. I remember with particular horror a Walker Halloween Special where Walker showed that the Devil can be defeated through kickboxing rather than prayers.

And not to speak of the numerous occassions in which God himself (or herself, who knows) appeared as a special guest star in Walker, usually on the form of iluminated windows or unexpected winds.

About Norris career, well, at least his early movies, Invasion USA in the head of the list, were laughable, but since he has tried to become racist, facist, ultraviolent and politicaly correct all at the same time he looks as a preacher's caricature.

[Deadance]

WOW! I can't wait to see it  I never see chuck norris in a long time.Chadzilla wrote:
>
> Now I am an Unapologetic Chuck Norris freak, but his
> latest post-Walker, Texas Ranger project, titled > href=http://www.chucknorris.com/html/bellsfl.html>Bells of
> Innocence, leaves me slack jawed.  His son Mike evidently
> co-wrote and helped poduce this tale of three men gaining
> supernatural powers to fight Lucifer in small town Texas.
> Can't wait until the reaction over at Jabootu!