Commercials I'd Kill You--Slowly--To See

[Flangepart]

Ah...yes....am i the only guy who wonders why its our job to remember the possision of the toliet seat?
....What, women are too dumb or lazy to check the seat placement before sitting down? I do...i don;t like cold porcilin eather!
....Adult ladies...please remember, as adults in the family, its your job to watch out for your own derriare! This message from the "I was not born a mindreader or your potty trainer" institute for inter sexual relations.......um...does that sound weird to you, too?

[AndyC]

True. Why is it a big deal to put the seat down if you need to sit, but not a big deal to raise it if you need to stand? I've never been able to figure that one out.

This does remind me of another variety of commercial I hate. The ones in which the husband is either an incompetent boob, clumsy fool, helpless whiner, lazy slob, or all-around lovable accident waiting to happen. Luckily, his wife knows what products to buy, where to take the car, and who to hire.

[BlackAngel]

... hire a hitman and tell him to kill everyone of those people who were "singing" in that N. Y Lotto commercial (except the choir).  God I hate that song.

Another disturbing commercial is the one for penial enhancement.  Where you see people having a ball at a party with one guy feeling down.  And that was before.  Then, after the "penial enhancement", the same guy is now the life of the party.  Who thought up this cruel, sick joke?
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From every1 in NYC, c-ya.

[John]

>am i the only guy who wonders why its our job to remember the possision of the
>toliet seat?

 Nope. Actually, I figure it's much more equal to leave the seat up. Men have to raise the seat before peeing, so it's only fair that women should have to put it down before peeing.

[J.R.]

And sometimes I'll go to the bathroom in the morning and the female in the house (be it mom or girlfriend or whatever) leaves the seat down, and I think it's still up, so I p**s all over and have to clean it up! The pedulum swings both ways, ladies.

[Squishy]

...or, "I'm A Big Kid Now! ...Uh, Aren't I?"

Wow, it seems that the simple function of lifting or setting down a lightweight toilet seat/lid is a bigger chore than I dreamed. I've mastered the task; maybe I should get some kind of medal? Here's some tips:

(1) Urinating standing up produces an unavoidable amount of "splatter." No one wants to see your urine drying on the porcelain, but you're even less likely to clean it up than you are to put the stupid lid down. (J.R. cleans up after himself, so that's something.) So just put the stupid lid down.

(2) When people live together, they have to compromise. Is this too Herculean a task? Too complicated? Does it somehow emasculate you macho macho men to set the toilet lid down without slamming it? Hells no.

(3) Look before you leak. If Flangepart can check to see what's where before letting it rip, so can J.R. and the rest of us.

(4) Don't deliberately p**s on the seat. Or in the shower. Or in the sink. That's not macho or cool; that's childish, idiotic, filthy, and stupid. To put it another way: Beavis would do it.

NOTE: If I seem uptight about this, it's because it's such a simple task--yet where I work, my fully-grown, adult co-workers regularly violate all of the above "rules." This includes p**sing on the seat, along with other crap like scrawling penises and smearing boogers on the walls. Damn, it's like living in one of the cages at the zoo--only filthier. I'd call them a bunch of f***ing apes, but that's not fair to crap-flinging monkeys. Makes me want to break some hands with a lead pipe.

"Possision?"

[Flangepart]

Ewwwww! My sympathy, Squishy. Gag....its not that hard, people! Lift when standing,drop when sitting....what, its brain surgery? Thank God for urinals. Sheesh!

[AndyC]

Yep, can't see why everybody can't follow the simple rule that if the seat isn't where you want it, move it yourself. It all evens out in the end.

This is difficult for some women because it requires them to look before sitting down. I've been told that this is the flaw in the idea.

If any of you guys want to start a really funny debate with your significant other, point out that keeping the seat down requires twice as much effort from men, who must first raise then lower it, than would be required for a woman to simply lower the seat and leave it there. This would only be required if it happens to be up. However, when keeping the seat down all the time, the man does all the work, since the woman will never have to move it at all.

It's actually not an issue in my house, because we have dogs, one of whom loves to lick faces. The lid has to stay down.

[Flangepart]

Woof! And on that note....
....What about a commercial where you hear two voices debateing the issue of toilet bowl cleaners...and its two dogs looking in the bowl, complimenting the lady of the house for getting a "Tasty" blue water cleanser.
....WOOF!