The War of the Robots, a.k.a. Reactor

[Todd R.]

Just bought the new DVD boxed set with Al Bradly's THE WAR OF THE ROBOTS and THE WAR OF THE PLANETS. Haven't watched PLANETS yet, but I just finished ROBOTS, which I already own on VHS under the title REACTOR. The weird thing is that I think my old, used VHS copy sports a better print that the one on the new DVD, which is loaded with scratches, "green circles" (do those mark where the theatrical reels were supposed to be changed?), and audio and video jumps. Anyone else notice this? I can't imagine how you couldn't.

Also annoying is the fact that the film isn't widesceen, thus robbing us of the full cheeseball glory that is THE WAR OF THE ROBOTS.

Anyone else want to comment on this one? It's so horrendously bad in its attempt at something in the pulp vein of the original STAR WARS that it's hard not to get caught up in its enthusiasm. I just plain love it!

[Flangepart]

I got that puppy, Todd R. Gotta have faith in a box set like this, espchualy when the box says
"Color.Not rated.Stuff blowing up"
Yee hee hee hee.....this is prime roll yer own MST baby!

[Todd R.]

The insanely upbeat ending of WAR OF THE ROBOTS--with the two main characters rhapsodizing on the beauty of life and how good it feels to be alive--is almost as schmaltzy as the feel-good ending of STAR CRYSTAL.

[Andrew]

When I saw the subject of Todd R's post, I immediately thought he was going to mention what must have been fifteen minutes of models flying through space and one or more characters saying stuff like, "Look out!"

This film is nicknamed "Attack of the Dutch Boys" in my house.

And, a sort of funny story.  I usually give Katie two or three choices when picking a movie for the night.  She gets to pick which film will be our "entertainment."  Well, one night I brought out "War of the Robots" and "Reactor."  This was before I knew about  the alternate title.

Five minutes into "Reactor" I say, "Hey, this is actually 'War of the Robots.'"  She started yelling at me.

[Scott]

Yea, I bought that double set of DVD's. It is a collectible one. They attempted something, but I'm not sure what or why. It is entertaining though. That is about all I can say. It is a good one to invite people in for a "special viewing". If you like WAR OF THE ROBOTS then you will like WAR OF THE PLANETS.  Some how these two film feel like the same film. I love those felt space caps and those seat belts they wear. The original titles say it all.

[Todd R.]

Anyone notice the fly that's crawling down the felt cap of one of the female characters (the blonde with the awful spiked hair) about 33 minutes into WAR OF THE PLANETS? I noticed it last night and couldn't believe my eyes. Perhaps Mr. Bradly should have set down his oversized Italian hoagie (which he was undoubtedly eating) and yelled, "CUT!"

[Apostic]

I've noticed that, too.  Very attractive.

regards,

Apostic

[Squishy]

I'll be damned--for years, I've been laughing my ass off at a fifteenth-generation copy of "Beast In Space," which had the howlingly awful theme song of "War of the Planets" tacked onto the end. I thought it was part of "Beast," as if the movie were, at some point, retitled. But the IMDB says they're two different flicks...

"We are note* alone here in space,
Every day, new planets.
We are note alone here in space,
Every day, new lives!

Every day! Every day!
Fly far away..."

*The song's in English, but all the "o"s are pronounced long, so "not" sounds like "note" and "shocking" comes out "show king."

I hope "War of the Robots" has a similar atrocity in its credits...

[Todd R.]

Ah, you're saving my sanity! There's a piece of that song in WAR OF THE PLANETS during a docking sequence early in the film, but the bit that's played lasts only a few seconds and is abrubtly cut short when the scene shifts to an interior shot aboard a spaceship. I could only make out a few words, and I've been going nuts trying to figure out why it's there, and why anyone who bother to write a song (and a howlingly bad one, at that) for only a few seconds of screen time. Perhaps the song originally came from BEAST IN SPACE, instead of the other way around.

[Squishy]

Aw, that's too bad--I was hoping to finally nail a clean copy of that song.

Well, as long as it saves someone's sanity...:) I'm pretty sure it was just a "bonus" on the "Beast In Space" tape, though; the title "War of the Planets" appears in English in the credit sequence that the song plays over...also, the cast listed in the credits matches the IMDB entry for "War," but not "Beast." (The credit sequence of "Beast" is missing from the tape.)

I just reviewed the sequence; it starts out with a spaceship crew apparently surviving a "meteor shower" or alien attack or something: their happy celebration is cut short by a loud "computer voice" (this is an undubbed version), and then the movie cuts to the credits, over assorted low-budget "space" effects and a giant computer labelled "WIZ." Oh my head.

Here is the complete song, complete with fugged-up English pronounciations. ("Inhospitable" sounds like the Knights of the Round Table from "Monty Python And The Holy Grail" are singing it.)

We are note alone, here in space
Every day, new planets.
We are note alone, here in space
Every day, new lives.

Every day! Every day!
Amazing flights!
Adventures in show-king spaceships
We are note alone, here in space, because
Here in space...we have browthers.

Every day! Every day!
Fly far away!
To colonize in-hose-spit-table worlds
We are note alone, here in space, because
Here in space...we have browthers.

We are note alone, here in space
Every day, new UFOs.  
We are note alone, here in space
Every day, new dangers!

Every day! Every day!
New thing can bring!
Computers! And superhuman men!
We are note alone, here in space because
Here in space...we have browthers.

I can capture it as a file, if Andrew or someone wants to put it up somewhere...

[Todd R.]

I just checked IMDB just to make sure BEAST IN SPACE and WAR OF THE PLANETS aren't the same films. They're not, although our man Al Bradly (or Bradley; I've seen it both ways) directed both, and it appears that his practice of getting the most mileage out of his special-effects footage (as evidenced in WAR OF THE PLANETS and WAR OF THE ROBOTS) was applied to BEAST, as well. PLANETS opens with a space station being threatened by some kind of meteor shower or swarm of space particles, and there's also some kind of super-intelligent computer named Wiz that's making decisions for all of humanity.

[Todd R.]

Thanks for posting the lyrics, Squishy. Is "browthers" pronounced the same way that Scott Paulin (as the Red Skull) pronounces "brother" in CAPTAIN AMERICA?

"Come to me, my brooooother..."

[Squishy]

It's not a drawn-out pronunciation; the "bro-" in "brothers" literally sounds like "bro." Likewise, "computers" sounds like "coumputers" and "colonize" comes out "cologne-ize." There's not a soft "o" in the whole thing.  (Also, for some reason, "men" in "superhuman men" comes out "main.")

[Flangepart]

WIZ...the computer that rules humanity AND keeps your floors sparkling clean! Also cures those urinary tract infections!
Did you see the bearded guy, in "War of the planets", while they await imminate death...he scarfs a breath mint! Every time i see that now, i shout "Tictac!"
Ah, the parmisan is ripe in these two!