Shoestring Budget Filmmaking 101 a.k.a. Phone Booth (2002)

[Traffic]

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Shoestring Budget Filmmaking 101 a.k.a. Phone Booth (2002)
By Traffic

What do you do when you only have a measly 10 million bucks *gasp* in your movie budget yet you have to make a marketable feature film? Simple.

Solution Number One: Hire a struggling director who needs a hit even more than the Yankees need a new shortstop - ooohhhh, did lil’ Derek hurt his widdle shoulder? YEAH BABY! Derek Jeter is a faggy fancyboy! Screw the Spankees! There is only one team in baseball, sports fans. The Los Angeles Dodgers! Don’t bet against the blue! EVER!

Solution Number Two: Get your movie lead to be played by a foreigner who has not yet figured the US to Euro conversion and/or find an actor who is indebted to the struggling director and will work cheap as a favor.

Solution Number Three: Steal a common plot idea from a NYU student film short then hire a hack, nobody writer for peanuts to fill in the few blanks left on this screenwriter’s mad lib.

Solution Number Four: Confine the shooting to the smallest possible and most unimaginative set conceivable. For example, center the entire film around a three by three glass cube.

Solution Number Five: Have your most expensive and recognizable actor work via his cell phone so as to not take him away from the shooting of his hit TV series.

Solution Number Six: Incorporate all of the above.

For those of you who are loyal readers, you’ll note I did mention a few thoughts on Phone Booth (2002) on Monday. Forgive me - but I couldn’t help but kick this dead horse a little more. For those a***oles in the crowd who did not read Monday, what the hell is wrong with you? Do you not understand how it works? “Updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.” Don’t tell me you have something better to do on Monday mornings, pal. What? Work? Phah! As punishment, I’m not going to explain AGAIN why the movie is dated 2002 but releasing in 2003. Maryland Sniper Controversy, my ass!

How must it feel to be director Joel Schumacher? From Batman Forever (1995) and a 100 million dollar bankroll to shoot with to this? That’s what 4 out of 5 losers in a row will get you in Hollywood, boys and girls. But the old man does have one ace in the hole â€" Colin Farrell. Not sure what kind of butt buddies these two guys are, but for some reason Schumacher was able to hook this Teen Beat Irish paddy into another movie. Of course, Tigerland (2000) did launch Farrell onto the cinema radar, so hey - a favor for a favor.
And I wasn’t flicking kidding above when I said this movie’s idea came from a NYU student short film. Problem is, the short film is actually REALLY GOOD â€" primarily because it’s short and the tension is high. How anyone expects to sustain this for an additional 81 minutes is anybody’s guess. Especially considering the main premise is the guy is stuck in a phone booth. Sure, this plot works when the main dude is under duress via phone (or CB) and on the move. Go see Dirty Harry (1971), Speed (1994) or Joy Ride (2001) - just to name a few off the top of my head - but have the movie take place while stuck in a phone booth? BORING!

Okay, I know I seem angry to a lot of you. And hey, I am angry because most of the time the world is crap â€" especially lately. But I’ll tell you what â€" I’ll be happy and go away and shut up if someone just writes me a check for the amount of cashola Kiefer Sutherland made on this film BY PROVIDING ONLY HIS VOICE! Damn!
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[Chadzilla]

The screenwriter was Larry Cohen, who is pretty far removed for a hack, nobody writer - as far as cult movies go that is.

I'll see it when it hits video, just for that alone.

[Deej]

1. "Irish Paddy." As opposed to Swiss Paddy?

2. "Irish Paddy." Blow me.

[Foywonder]

And the biggest problem with your rant is that the word of mouth on the film is actually very positive. Have you even seen PHONE BOOTH?

[Andrew]

I really don't have a problem with people promoting their websites, but obvious "Spam Message Boards" tactics annoy me - whether here or  on other sites that I read.

And, just for fun, here is everything that "Traffic" did when he stopped by:

4:35 pm -  IP address 198.188.145.60 hits front page
4:37 pm  - opens message board
4:47 pm - opens post page
4:39 pm - posts his message
4:39 pm - opens his own message

[systemcr4sh]

I saw phone booth about a week before it came to theatres, and I looove it, its so good. One of the best movies of the year I think. I forgive Shumacher for his past blotches (but falling down is an amazing movie), the directing here is good. Colin was great in it too.

[Fearless Freep]

I really don't have a problem with people promoting their websites, but obvious "Spam Message Boards" tactics annoy me - whether here or on other sites that I read.

That's why I never vistit web sites when it's someone's first,  only, and last post.  I don't mind visiting someone's site once they've posted a bit and become a part of the community, but these hit and run spam link posts I never follow.

FWIW, Andrew, posts like this remind me how I appreciate the work and effort of people like you, Nathan, Liz, Ken, and all the others who have good sites.   Ranting, whining, complaining and slamming is easy, taking the time to come up with a thoughtful critique detailing the good, the bad, and the painful and making it funny and enjoyable to read takes a lot of work

[Waters778]

You know, this guy is the same guy that I keep wishing I could permanently ban from forums and from chat rooms/IRC/ETC.

I am in awe as to his complete inability to percieve reality.  Colin Farrel is a "foreigner who has not yet figured the US to Euro conversion and/or find an actor who is indebted to the struggling director and will work cheap as a favor"?  Joel Schumacher is a "struggling" director?  The guy is a Dodgers fan?

Not only is the review not funny, it's not even mildly interesting.  It's the kind of annoying garbage that is all too often found on the internet today.  The brainless, "you an idiot if you don't agree with me" attitude that sends me into a rage every time I encounter it.

So, Traffic, if you're reading (and not busy doing self promotion somewhere else) just to let you know, your review "talent" is not so much a talent.  It's more of a curse levied upon the rest of us for some unknown sin of times past.

Or maybe I'm just being bitter...

[Nathan Shumate]

Fearless Freep wrote:

> FWIW, Andrew, posts like this remind me how I appreciate the
> work and effort of people like you, Nathan, Liz, Ken, and all
> the others who have good sites.   Ranting, whining, complaining
> and slamming is easy, taking the time to come up with a
> thoughtful critique detailing the good, the bad, and the
> painful and making it funny and enjoyable to read takes a lot
> of work

Yeah... but the ranting, whining, complaining and slamming is what makes it all worthwhile.  There's nothing like the feeling of "Hot dog, I can REALLY cut loose on this one!"

[Nathan Shumate]

Plus, if memory serves, Cohen wrote the script on spec, and the director was brought in much, much later.

(I know, I know -- "Writers aren't just hacks on their directorial/productorial leashes?  They actually contribute creativity and are at least partly responsible for the success of a good movie?  Whoa -- nobody ever mentioned that!")

[Traffic]

Ah... the buzz... this it great. Thank you all for keeping my original post alive. And doncha worry your pretty little head Andrew, I'll be back. And often. I love to talk **** about movies.

~Traffic----------->if you're a dork, don't go here --------->wastedfilm.com