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BLACKENSTEIN

Started by The Burgomaster, January 14, 2004, 11:13:01 AM

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The Burgomaster

I hadn't seen this movie in about 10 years, but the DVD was under $10, so I bought it.  This is a BAD movie.

The plot:  Eddie, a Vietnam vet whose arms and legs were blown off by a land mine goes to Dr. Stein (clever name) who has "won the Nobel Peace Prize for solving the DNA genetic code" (are you still with me on this?)  Dr. Stein, using surgery, DNA injections, and electricity (yes, the actual equipment from the original FRANKENSTEIN movie was dusted off and used in this blaxploitation classic), gives Eddie a set of new limbs.

HOWEVER, Dr. Stein's assistant falls in love with Eddie's girlfriend (who is assisting Dr. Stein) and decides to remove Eddie from the equation.  He alters Eddie's DNA injection and . . . presto . . . Eddie grows a really tall head with an afro and turns into BLACKENSTEIN.

Eddie arises from his bed (where he is lying fully clothed in Herman Munster attire, including fashionable shiny black ankle boots) and proceeds to rip peoples arms off and pull their intestines out.

We get to see long, boring scenes of the monster slowly walking through the laboratory, walking outside, walking down stairs, etc.  Obviously, the director and editor had no concept of pacing, because these scenes of the monster just walking (slowly) from point A to point B add nothing to the movie.

There is also a nightclub scene (which, I assume, was added to pad the running time of the movie), in which a comedian (who is NOT funny), tells a couple of jokes.

If you want to watch a movie that has really bad dialogue, terrible acting, minimally decorated sets, and stupid sound effects (including the sound of wind blowing and howling whenever the monster is outside, and the sound of a heartbeat whenever the monster kills someone), then I highly recommend this stinker from the 1970s.

"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."

Mr_Vindictive

Sounds fantastic.

Where did you pick it up on DVD at?

__________________________________________________________
"The greatest medicine in the world is human laughter. And the worst medicine is zombie laughter." -- Jack Handey

A bald man named Savalas visited me last night in a dream.  I think it was a Telly vision.

The Burgomaster

Skaboi:

I bought it online from Deep Discount DVD.  I also ordered BLACULA and SCREAM, BLACULA, SCREAM so that I'll have a nice triple feature.

"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."

Mr_Vindictive

Blacula and Scream Blacula are some great films.  I'll check out Deep Discount!  Thanks!

__________________________________________________________
"The greatest medicine in the world is human laughter. And the worst medicine is zombie laughter." -- Jack Handey

A bald man named Savalas visited me last night in a dream.  I think it was a Telly vision.

Bernie

You can't compare the two:  Blacula is an actual Good Movie, while Blackenstein just .... sucks.  

One of my favorite moments in Blackenstein:  You know that classic cinematic trick of showing someone's shadow entering the room before them, so the shadow comes looming into the picture larger and larger, all ominous and scary?  They try to do that in Blackenstein (in fact, they try it twice) but the lighting and cinematography are SO utterly incompetent,, the shadow is actually SMALLER than the monster.  Makes him look like a five-foot tall guy with a flattop.

Plot holes you could drive a hearse through, nonsensical dialogue, flat boring pointless scenes.....  it's a bad-movie lover's smorgasbord.  Or so you would think.

But really -- it just sucks.

42nd_Street_Freak

LOL! It is a bit of an old stick fest it has to be said.  Still fun though.
Here's a review I did for Zombiekeeper.com when I use to work on there......
http://www.beardyfreak.com/rvblackenstein.htm

What I did notice was that this was an 'R' rated print a did seem to be trimmed at time during some of the killings....Burgomaster was yours an 'R' rated print?  And did you spot these trims during the deaths?  I was wondering if this was the only print around.


The Burgomaster

42nd:

I bought a VHS dupe of this movie many years ago.  I haven't watched it in awhile, but I don't remember any differences between the VHS version and the DVD.  They both show people's intestines being ripped out, but I'm not sure if these scenes have been trimmed.

"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."

Scott

I don't usually talk much about the so called "Blaxplotation" films as they might offend someone, but I really can't image why they would affend. Some of them are really entertaining and it has nothing to do with race in my opinion.  

Blackula - Good film. Really enjoyed it.
Scream Blackula Scream - Possibly better than the first.
Black Samaria - Another fun one. He's a regular James Bond.
Dolomite - Entertaining
Coffy - Good film
Foxy Brown - Good film haven't seen it all yet.
TNT Jackson - Poor film
Blackenstien - Terrible film. The worst.

Do these films bother anyone? If so why? Still haven't seen Superfly or Shaft.


The Burgomaster

Scott:

I don't think that anyone should be offended by blaxploitation movies.  Blaxploitation was a real genre back in the 1970s . . . and it was (for the most part) developed by African American actors and directors . . . so no one should be offended!

This is one of my favorite genres (and I am WHITE).  I recently ordered the following DVDs:

* BLACULA
* SCREAM, BLACULA, SCREAM
* SUPERFLY
* UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT
* LET'S DO IT AGAIN
* COTTON COMES TO HARLEM

Long live blaxploitation!

"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."

Scott

You are correct on those points Burgomaster and the filmmakers did "not" make fun of anybodys race in those films. Good entertainment.

I read somewhere that William Marshall distanced himself from the role for some reason. Though I'm not sure exactly the reason though. Read it in a magazine.

The reason I asked the question was I was curious as to were the norm of opinion was on this subject. I've heard someone laughing on the job about a racial issue on a radio comedy program and it was bad entertainment and I can safely say it was a very offensive racial joke, but naturally you don't see that in Black Cinema which was directed often by black directors who didn't down grade their own people. Sorry about the rant as it was a recent issue with me somewhere away from the subject of movies.


jmc

I think Marshall might have thought the roles were beneath him.  

Those movies wouldn't have been nearly as good without him in the role.