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Ankle Biters

Started by Max Gardner, March 31, 2004, 06:11:46 PM

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Max Gardner

The world's top scientists have been working overtime to produce a film more politically incorrect than Crippled Masters, and their work has finally come to fruition.  I found "Ankle Biters" on sale at the local Blockbuster for $3 and the bright orange tape caught my eye.  The movie is about midget vampires taking over a small midwestern town in search of the sword used to slay the last tall vampire.  The midgets hope to use the sword to create a legion of tall vampires to do their bidding.  The tagline on the front of the box is "Don't Look Down."

Brother Ragnarok

Awful, stupid, crappy movie that has pretensions of (kinda) stealing the plot from Blade, but loses its steam about 20 minutes in and just meanders around for the next 60 or so minutes boring everything in striking distance to death.
And that GODAWFUL THEME SONG!  AGH!  Three feet tall, two-inch fangs! backed by a generic Pantera guitar riff.  Blech.

Brother R

There are only two important things in life - monsters and hot chicks.
    - Rob Zombie
Rape is just cause for murdering.
    - Strapping Young Lad

Flangepart

EWwwww....concept looked fun...guess its good i left it contemplating its navel.

"Aggressivlly eccentric, and proud of it!"

Dirtcreature

Midget vampires? Hmm, sounds like something Antoine de Caunes would be laughing about on Euro Trash!

Seriously...does this film really exist?

eeeee5

"Seriously...does this film really exist?"
.  .  .  .  Yup, picked it up myself, but didn't get around to watching it yet.  
.  .  .  .  What no Warwick?

Brother Ragnarok

Unfortunately, yes, it does exist.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

Brother R

There are only two important things in life - monsters and hot chicks.
    - Rob Zombie
Rape is just cause for murdering.
    - Strapping Young Lad

wuggles451

The trailer for the movie was entertaining and funny, and the theme song was ridiculously funny too. The actual movie was boring.



Post Edited (04-02-04 15:53)

eeeee5

.  .  .  .  I really liked the film.  It was funny, and wasn't as boring as the bulk of stuff I end up watching.  Plus it use's the phrase, "Show me the money," well-enough.  The film may has a terrible bar fight scene, and the vampire fangs, resemble those "Billy Bob" steriotypical southern teeth.
.  .  .  .  The lead vamp hunters are funnier versions of Blade, with most of the humor centered on Drexel.  And I'll admit the prolonged slo-mo montage's with source music were too many, and it "borrows" from Blade, but the film was still good.  (The ankle-biting reminds me of Nightmare Sisters.)
.  .  .  .  It's not what would contemporarily be called a 'xploitation flick, because the humor of the film is not based on dwarf body differences to "tallee" (invented word) body's, but more of a comedy, parodying vampire hunters.  So if your looking for 'xploitation, you will be dissapointed.



Post Edited (04-03-04 07:19)