Swordsman with An Umbrella - anyone seen it?

[Jim H]

I still haven't watched the entire film end to end, but man...  Swordsman with an Umbrella has got to be one of the most entertainingly godawful films ever made.  You can find it in one of those cheapo $5.99 packs with 3 other martial arts flicks (it also has Lightning Kung Fu, which is a retitling of a film called Killer Constable - genuinely good film).  

I don't even know where to begin.  Well, ok, it has a long credit bit, then like literally 3 minutes of the title character walking without dialogue.  Long stretches of people walking, or boring shots of nothing, happen several times - keep the remote handy, and this is one of the most enjoyable sub-hour long movies around.  The dubbing is HORRENDOUSLY AWFUL.  The voices don't fit so badly it is incredible, the timing is horrible, etc.  Also, it has burned in subtitles which are great...  No one can beat my technics!  I Will have my revenage!  Watch for totally different meanings in the subtitles...

Also, the fight scenes are horrible.  Sometimes people die when the title umbrella (which has a spiky point to kill people with) gets within 3 or 4 feet of them, sometimes it has to get closer.  They're also crazy - the main character grabs a sword, flicks the tip, and sends the piece of metal into someone's forehead.  It looks as ridiculous as it sounds.

He is on a quest for revenge, to revenage his master's suicide (yes, his suicide - going after those that bugged him).  His master commits suicide in a great way.  I'm not even going to say it, just see the film.

Oh yeah, and I have to mention the slow motion in the final fight.  Apparently their camera couldn't film at higher FPS than normal (the usual way to do slomo) so the actors just move slower.  Looks better than it sounds....  Until the main dude really obviously trips at normal speed.

Buy it.

[Scott]

The Kung Fu films from Hong Kong always have great characters. They all have some special ability or technique. They are really fun. I've seen a lot lately with all types of characters with like hunchbacks, flying gulliutines, blind, one arm, protruding stomach mucsle, long arms, drunken masters, sleeping masters,  flaming fist, bronzemen, and even hopping zombies. The list goes on and on and I like them all.  The films also always have a comedy scene that always takes place in a cafe of sometype. Something about food and comedy with Hong Kong audiences.