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The True Moral of the Movie

Started by saintmort, January 22, 2005, 04:27:20 PM

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Prophet Tenebrae

28 Days Later: Animal Rights Terrorists will be the death of us all

Austin Powers 2: Selling out makes you rich but painfully unfunny

Star Wars: Episode 1: Selling out makes you rich but painfully awful

Freddy vs. Jason: If you know a killer derives his power from fear - don't go into a highschool and tell everyone that you moron.

Signs: Aliens despite being able hundred of years more advanced than us are in fact stupid enough to land on a planet full of their kryptonite.

The Village: Never pay to see an M. Night Shymalan film.

Star Trek: Generations: Women drivers are even worse in space.

Chopper

Last House on the Left - be careful who you buy your weed from.

the Gate - heavy metal is bad for you.

Shivers - wear protection.

BoyScoutKevin

"Lair of the White Womr" - if you are a virginal boy scout, never ever thumb a ride in northern England, even if it is raining, or else you'll wind up on the menu as someone's idea of snake kibble.


JohnL

The Wraith - The best way to impress your girlfriend is by murdering your enemies in gruesome ways.

Critters - Not all tribbles are friendly.

The Last Starfighter - Video games are the best training method for pilots.

Kory

Monkey Shines has 2 morals:

1. Running is bad for your health
2. Never trust a monkey

Ozzymandias

Red River - two men will settle their differences if a crying, hysterical woman starts shooting at them.

Yaddo 42

The Game: Everyone you know will sell you out for the sake of a good prank. Especially if you might be suicidal.

DeadAlive: Family members are more trouble than they're worth.

The Postman Strikes Back: Find out what's in the packages you agree to carry for hire.

Ichi the Killer: Stay FAR FAR away from crybabies.

My Name is Nobody: Owning a hatmaker's shop in the Old West can be very profitable. or Learn to do your own shaving.

WinterKills: John Huston should not be allowed to own red bikini underwear.

Fearless Freep

"Omega Doom"  - Amusement parks look like Eastern Europe
"Endangered Species" - Human skins are fashion wear in some parts of the galaxy
"XChange" - When you check your body at the door, be sure to get a claim ticket  (Also:  Not all Baldwins are created equal  And:  Just like rental cars, rental bodies can be trashed)
"Hyperspace" - Dumping trash in the middle of nowhere in deep space takes a crew of six (and best if they don't really get along).
"Cybernator" - How many ciches can one movie hold?  Let's find out!

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Going places unmapped, to do things unplanned, to people unsuspecting

Derf

It's an obscure movie, but I'd been meaning to post this anyway:

"Wild Women of Wongo" - Ugly people can only be attracted to and happy with other ugly people, and beautiful people can only be attracted to and happy with other beautiful people. Mixing the two types never works and goes against Nature.


Menard


Derf

Menard wrote:

> Finally, logic in a movie.
>

Oh, and then there's the sub-moral: White women CANNOT do African-tribal-style dances, especially C-string actresses from California in the fifties/sixties.

saintmort

Johnny Get Your Gun - Some Movies make better music videos

Flangepart

Reptilicus : Danish scientests can screw up by bringing a monster to life, just as easily as good 'ol Amurrican ones can. Also : Not all Kennys are children, and can wear overalls.

"Aggressivlly eccentric, and proud of it!"

Fearless Freep

Some Movies make better music videos

Same as "Bad Channels"

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Going places unmapped, to do things unplanned, to people unsuspecting

odinn7

I came up with another one...

Gigli- Just because you can make a movie, doesn't always mean you should.

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You're not the Devil...You're practice.