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Spring Break Shark Attack/new --

Started by peter johnson, March 21, 2005, 09:03:59 PM

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peter johnson

Well, I watched it last night --
How many of you did?
It was actually pretty good, and the acting was actually decent for the low demands being made.  I was shocked!!  I had expected something much sleazier.
The sharks, on the whole, looked really good -- a mix of models, stock footage, and CGI.  Really did their job.
Some things I learned:
Sharks, when offered a bucket of chum, will flock after the chum in a gigantic herd, foregoing the banquet of chewy coeds already before them.
Tiger sharks will attack inanimate objects, like boats, as a matter of course, biting the boats until they sink.  Nobody is surprised by this normal shark behaviour, and not even scientists will comment on it.
Even though in plain sight of a nearby mainland beach, when being attacked by Tiger sharks, it is sometimes necessary to drive one's leaky boat to an isolated island miles away.
All sharks are strong enough to pull pieces off of boats willy-nilly, even screwed down steel and chrome accessories.
 When in danger, a woman's cleavage and breasts will continue to grow as long as the danger gets proportionately extreme.
* * * * *
I would complain about the number of gratuitous crotch-shots, but don't know to whom I would direct this.
peter johnson/denny crane

Mr Hockstatter

It seemed like a Lifetime movie of the week, "Date Rape:  Ocean of Fear" or something.  Then somebody decided to toss in a few minutes of shark footage.

I liked the floating bar that turned into a veritable smorgasbord for our finned friends, and the part where the girl told the guy she's pull the spear out of his arm on the count of three.  One...yank!  That was funny.

Other than that it was a waste of time.


peter johnson

Oh, yeah!  I'd forgotten that!
In every First Aid class that any of us have had since grade school:  Don't pull out whatever is impaling your friend, ever, be it knife, arrow, sword, or fencepost, as it will actually increase the bleeding & make it more likely for them to die . . .
My wife commented, viciously, on that part where she pulls out the spear --
she took the same First Aid courses I did --
peter johnson/denny crane