lOff topic chuckles

[onionhead]

I got this in the mail this am--thought I'd pass them along:
>
> > ______________________________________________
> >
> >
> >     This old, but still humorous.
> >
> >
> >     Subject: FW: Airline Chuckles
> >
> >      
> >      
> >     In case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to
> > fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.
> >
> >
> >     After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a
> > "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
> > The mechanics correct the! problems, document their repairs on the
> > form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight
> > Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are
> > some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked
> > with a P)and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance
> > engineers.
> >
> >     By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never,
> > ever, had an accident.
> >
> >     --------------
> >
> >     P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> >     S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
> >
> >     P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
> >     S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
> >
> >     P: Something loose in cockpit.
> >     S: Something tightened in cockpit.
> >
> >     P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> >     S: Live bugs on back-order.
> >
> >     P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per
> > minute descent.
> >     S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
> >
> >     P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> >     S: Evidence removed.
> >
> >     P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> >     S: DME volume set to more believable level.
> >
> >     P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> >     S: That's what friction locks are for.
> >
> >     P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
> >     S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
> >
> >     P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> >     S: Suspect you're right.
> >
> >     P: Number 3 engine missing.
> >     S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
> >
> >     P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
> >     S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
> >
> >     P: Target radar hums.
> >     S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
> >
> >     P: Mouse in cockpi! t.
> >     S: Cat installed.
> >
> >     And the best one for last..................
> >
> >     P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
> > midget pounding on something with a hammer.
> >     S: Took hammer away from midget.

_________________________________________________________________

[Scott]

"Those are good ones"

[Shadowphile]

I've seen this before but it is always good for a laugh....

[BoyScoutKevin]

Thanks for the laughs, OH. Of course, now everybody at work now knows what I'm doing, when I should be working.