The All Midget Remake

[loyal1]

lol..Not so High Noon!  True Bit!  Great ones.

[AndyC]

A midget Michael Myers! That's great. A midget Jason would be even better. Or maybe an all-midget Freddy Vs. Jason.

Fear of midgets? I hadn't thought of that, but I guess people can be afraid of anything. I suppose it's not uncommon to be uneasy around people with some noticeable physical condition -- dwarfism, wheelchair, missing limb, etc. Reminds me of the time I went to photograph an assembly at one of the local public schools. An all-midget basketball team came to entertain the kids and teach them that it's cool to be different. They did this by performing all the sort of shenanigans people like to see midgets doing, so it was kind of a mixed message. Fun though.

[RCMerchant]

Midgets can be scary. Look at Angelo Rossitta. Did you ever see him in Dracula vs. Frankenstien? He was scarier than the monsters!A lotta old horror movies had evil midget sidekicks.Look at that guy in Blood sucking Freaks! Now thats one evil little b*sterd! He was the selling point in the movie for me.

[loyal1]

I have no problem with missing limbs, wheelchairs, or even deformities.  Hell I had no problem with Sloth on The Goonies..lol.  

As for the Freak show performed at your school...oh the irony.  But it would not have been fun for me, that I can tell you.  :)

[Inyarear]

Shadowphile Wrote:
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> Low Rider
>
> Hey, that's what we need.  A midget biker flick....

Midget bikers? Yeah, I could see that. Really, it works even better than midget cowboys, since bikes are cheaper than horses.

I don't see why a film starring only midgets has to be a remake of anything, though. Why not make an all-midget original, as The Terror of Tiny Town was? Sure, you can remake Mad Max with an all-midget cast, but why not just write a generic all-midget post-apocalyptic piece? That midgets would be the only ones to survive the apocalypse would make their ubiquitous presence on the screen all the more credible, really.

It's worth remembering that The Terror of Tiny Town was a follow-up to the early blaxploitation Western Harlem on the Range, starring an all-black cast. If you don't mind taking a little flack from the P.C. patrol, why not try remaking an entire film that was originally done with an all-white cast (not too difficult to find) with an all-black cast? Pick a much-beloved classic, hire black people to play every one of the characters, and then play it straight and have them follow the script for the original religiously. Then release the film to theaters under the same title as the original with all the same kind of promotional material, and watch white reviewers scratch their heads in bewilderment as black audiences crack up laughing for no apparent good reason.

[Shadowphile]

Inyarear, they did do an all black remake of a classic.  It's called 'Guess Who?' and it's a remake of the Spencer Tracy/Katherine Hepburn/Sidney Poitier classic 'Guess Who's coming to Dinner?'. Instead of a white girl bringing home a black man, a black girl brought home a white man.  As expected, it bombed.

And when did the term 'black comedy' change to the point that it meant a comedy with a black cast?

[Inyarear]

Shadowphile Wrote:
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> Inyarear, they did do an all black remake of a
> classic.  It's called 'Guess Who?' and it's a
> remake of the Spencer Tracy/Katherine
> Hepburn/Sidney Poitier classic 'Guess Who's coming
> to Dinner?'. Instead of a white girl bringing home
> a black man, a black girl brought home a white
> man.  As expected, it bombed.
>
> And when did the term 'black comedy' change to the
> point that it meant a comedy with a black cast?

That's not all-black, though; the gag doesn't work if it's actually a tale of interracial controversy with the races switched. In fact, if there's anything about race at all in the story, the gag doesn't work. The kind of comedy I have in mind is the comedy of never mentioning the elephant in the corner, in this case "Why are we all acting just like white people when we're black people?" Blackness being a culture and not just a skin-color, it would seem pretty weird to black audiences to see a bunch of black people acting white.

The trick is to get a good movie that was so white-breadish in its style that it looks really weird when black people play it straight. Imagine an all-black version of The Graduate, for instance, or the all-black E.T.: The Extraterrestrial. American Graffiti would be a really fun one to do that way too. Again, have no "updating" of the music or cultural adjustment of any kind to make it fit the black culture; just use the original script and story and settings and everything. Musicals might be especially funny done that way: no rap music, no jazz, nothing the least bit black-sounding, just black guys singing amazingly white stuff. The viewers would all crack up laughing.

[Shadowphile]

An all black 'The Sound of Music'.  Doesn't that just paint a picture in your head....

[BoyScoutKevin]

"Bugsy Malone" is unique. It is, as far as I know, one of only three films to have an all-child cast without any adults at all, appearing in it. And it is the only one in English. The other two films are the Hungarian "Angyali udvozlet" from 1984 and the Filipino "kuvwntong bahay-bahayan" from 1953.

"Bugsy Malone" was also turned into a theatrical musical, so it could be played on the stage.
I wonder if they kept in the pie fight that ends the film. Messy?!

[Inyarear]

I thought of that! The only problem with an all-black "Sounds of Music" would be that black Nazis would be so over-the-top that it might reduce the comedy of it all to utter silliness. "My Fair Lady" and "Guys and Dolls" would be fair game, though. So would anything else that doesn't explicitly have anything to do with race.

[Rombles]

How about an all-black (or all midget) Yentyl?

[Shadowphile]

An all black midget Fiddler on the Roof.

[RCMerchant]

I'd like to see an all chimpanzee remake Pulp Fiction! Now THAT would be funny!

[LilCerberus]

Ever since I saw that cop in Q working undercover as a mime, I've always had this idea for a moie called MimeCop.

It would be about your typical garden variety lone wolf/loose cannon detective who partnered with a mime, who always has to play charades, even while using the phone.

To make the cop's world even more bizarre, he & the mime are the only two guys on the force who aren't full time professional Elvis impersonators.

Even the captain, who also happens to be a vampire, is an Elvis impersonator.

[RCMerchant]

Rombles Wrote:
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> How about an all-black (or all midget) Yentyl?
Yeah! Why not?Then you could offend three groups of people all at once! Skinheads would love it!