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The Crippled Masters

Started by thedokta@yahoo.com, November 03, 1998, 05:53:43 AM

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Meghan O.

At first, I felt bad...you know laughing at the misfortunes of others and all; but as the movie progressed, I began to realize that these men were not to be pitied, but feared.  In all honesty they do kick-a**.  
     I also immensly enjoyed the old man in a basket shot.  I have not passed a basket without looking inside of it since I saw this movie.       P.S bushy eyebrows are sexy.

master Jeremy Hoffman

This movie made my life turn into hell. Every night I wake up, because there are a hundred crippled students at my window. They all want to learn my famous 'NO ARMS & LEGS STYLE". I can't go to the window to tell them I've stopped teaching this style, because I've got no arms and legs to go to the window. I"ve got no partner like in the movie.
(I'm from Holland, now you must die, WHOOOAAAAAA!)
13-03-00

Bowieism

oh my god!!! this movie is the f**king best!!! it's definitely the funniest movie i've ever seen!!! i was rolling on the floor laughing...an armless guy wears a legless guy as a backpack to some kick ass. what more does one need for entertainment?? i had to buy it immediately!!!

I am currently watching this film for the first timeon TNT as I write this....this is by far the goofiest thing I've ever seen on TV!!!!  Me and my roomate are stuck in for the night all bored, channel surfing, When the 2 guys are training and they tie up the old master, I almost p**sed my pants laughing...man, does it get cheesier than this?

Steve

Me and my friend saw this movie about a year back and it is the most amazingly stupid movie I have ever seen. And I loved it! I couldn't stop laughing at the two handi-cripples beating the crap out of the worthless bad guys. I sat there laughing until tears ran down my cheeks. I mean you have this guy with this little chicken wing arm that looks like he stole it out of a bucket of KFC and this other guy with these worthless legs that that looks like sausage links that runs around on his hands like a damn monkey. This is definately one of my favorite kung fu movies of all time. If there's a movie that could someone laugh until they they s**t their pants this is the movie!!

Reno

This has to be one of the funniest movies I have ever seen.  The people who think this movie sucks, well... I don't know how you can not laugh your ass off at this movie.  It truly ranks among the top five movies the entire world must see.

Gabriele Sposito


It is the most romantic martial arts love story I ever  seen in my life, beside the fact that Meg Ryan wasn't in the Film. I love handicapped cripple like I love black death

Shark

This is, in my opinion, the greatest martial arts movie of all time.  It's got all the cliche plot lines, combined with incredible comedy.

That nub is freakin' awesome!

I wish I knew the next time it would be on television--I really want a copy, but don't think I can bring myself to pay for it.

Kind of wierd considering that I think it is the greatest martial arts movie of all time, but if you've seen it, I think you understand.

Buster Gates

Greetings: Until I saw Crippled Masters, I thought I had a firm grasp on what was and was not "inappropriate".  Incongruity might be a better word for this dilemma.  On the other hand, it sheds a whole new light on the issue of hero worship and the possibilities for professional poster children.  No telling where one of Jerry's more enterprising kids could take a movement like this.  For promotional purposes though I think CM could generate the buzz it trukly needs by exposure on a site like something.com, inappropriate.com and inappropriate.tv.  

-Buster-

travis

this was the funniest movie i have ever seen. i was about to pee my pants and crap myself at the sound effects and terrible martial arts.things that were good about the movie...the nub guy was good with a stick. and watch out for the guy with no legs, he might hit u with his lawnmower attack(which sound lick a cat in a garbage disposal). in my opinion, if u want good action look...anywhere else, but if u want a good laugh, buy this movie.

The Argonaut

Ok, well what can you say about a movie that is as grotesque as well as entertaining. I liked this movie for the simple fact that it is entertaining. Belive what you see for special effects were not possible to make these two guys fight the way they do. b***h slapped by a nubbly hand, or bitten ankle style, this movie is a keeper!

Matt S

I watched this film after a stag party some years ago and until now doubted its existence. It seemed the kind of fantasy / illusion brought on by drinking too much bleach (if there is such a limit) Well done to these fellas, despite the glaringly obvious shortfalls of the plot and action sequences it has remained my only topic of conversation for many years.........

A must see film.  *****

Lee

Well,i came to this site because of a movie based on "Dragonball" and i became really interested in these bad movies. I remember when i was around 10 or 9(im 15 now).I used to stay up late and watch this tv show on TNT,i cant remember the name but it had weird in it; I also remember there was a host and he'd always be drinking coffe and talking about the movie. Ive watched this movie and a lot others on the tv show,because of this site ive rediscovered my love for weird and funny movies. I remember this movie and i thought it was very entertaining, it was the movie that got me into martial arts movies.

Nate

Goofy fun yes, but truly scary to sit and watch the horrible black, rotted front teeth on the two cripples.......that's the most unsettling thing in a kung-fu flick you'll probably ever see.............yeeaach!

Also, notice during the final fight with the scarred/hunchbacked baddie that the entire scene suddenly shifts from the baddies palatial estate to the cripples' forest hide-away!

I found this title on DVD at Suncoast btw.

Bardley

The first time I watched it, riveted, I thought, "This is some sick s**t!"  The second time, I thought it a work of genius.  I was right both times.  Evil Ferrous Hump has nothing but good lines, check: "Well you doing seem to like living very much."  "What's that?!  Hahahaha!  I don't know what you're talking about!"  And, after burning the legs off Kung Suh Ching, "Don't look at me like that."  Listen for the moments when the sound effects indicate augmented super-kung fu, like when Legless does the copter effect.