Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe

I've seen bad movies in my time but this one is right up there. It looks like the opening scene takes place in someone ham radio basement.
Everytime my 23 year old son decides to be a wise guy, I threaten him with having to watch this film.
Besides the poor acting, poor script, poor lighting and poor filming, it's not a bad film.

Jessie. I think you show alot of "Seal" guts making this film.
Sempe fie

[phoenix]

This is the now govenor of minnesota in a movie that stinks well just think of how many movies the big named stars did that were flops(liz taylor in cleopatra, John wayne in the caquerer)and thats just a few

[Mike]

This movie is up there with Werewolf as one of the all time greats.  I watched it for the first time after seeing Eric Roberts star in Endangered Species.  A good set up film.  

I could watch Abraxas say, "I must find Secundus" and run away 100 times.  Unbelievable.

Another subtle gem in this movie are the looks that the older Sheriff give the younger cop...and their conversation in the car.  Epic.  

The perfect double feature is definitely Abraxas and Werewolf.  

[Secondus]

Who cares about Jesse "the Bådy" Ventura?? Sven-Ole Thorsen is the only thing that can save this movie from being total garbage.. the soundtrack is absolutely HORRIBLE!! The worst I have ever heard in a movie, by far! The saxophone in the woods during the chase is SO malplaced and BORING!

Sven-Ole's one-liners like "HAVE A NICE DAY" and "I Loooove Children" are hilarious, I went out and bought "Viking Sagas" and "Fatal Combat" just because he had big roles in them..and he didn't dissapoint me (although the movies did)

[Jose]

Found this thing for a $1.99 over at Walgreens. Pretty good deal for a horrible Terminator rip-off. I enjoyed it.

[Felicity]

I saw this movie back in 1997 and I enjoyed it at the time.  I found Jesse Ventura's voice very pleasant and it was neat to see him not wearing a wig, as he did for most movies back then.  He actually looked surprisingly good balding--not with a wig, and not with his head completely shaved.  It made his character come off as just a good, decent man, nothing fancy in the looks department, but not unpleasant to look at either, what with the strong square jaw and big muscular body.

Nice to see Sven Thorsen too.  He was very likeable and sympathetic as Secundus.  I've liked him ever since his one line in The Running Man, which come to think of it also had Jesse Ventura (in a bad wig).

I loved the bit where the alien commander says "Parsecs are not an appropriate Earth time unit."  My friend Ryan (who describes himself as "a Star Wars sad bastard") have always disagreed about the "parsecs" line in Star Wars, and this supports my case.  :-)

Things that bugged me:

• They never explained the alien terms "komader" and "vaulted" (except to say that "vaulted" means "T-squared," which doesn't help).

• Abraxas has hair in the opening segment where he's chasing Secundus on Earth for the first time.  So he kept his hair for 11,000 years, and then starting losing it in the last five?

• Except for Abraxas and Secundus, none of the characters are likeable.

• A lot of it is set in a small town or the nearby woods, which happens in so many B-movies that a lot of times I won't even start to watch a movie if the words "a small town" are in the plot summary.  Fortunately, it's *not so* small a town that we don't get to see Secundus raising hell in a few civilized locations, like that restaurant, or the street with the hookers.

[Malone]

I watched this movie with some friends last weekend (we found it in a 2$ dvd bin).

By the end of this picture we were convinced it was a propoganda film for NAMBLA.

From the talk of VD.
to the naked chat about men who were partners in bed with tommy.
To the line where Secundus looooooves children.
Also Secundus chooses to slowly undress himself while commenting to Tommy that they are all alone now.

Also this movie does own one of the best catch phrases of all time.

MY BOX HAS VD

[Paul]

This movie rules. I have a DVD Player in the car and listen to it when Im in the car. So entertaining!!

[Kyle]

The only good song on the Soundtrack "Strong As I Am".

"Strong As I Am" the song that lives!  Has dug in, and made a home on myspace www.myspace.com/strongasiam.

Everything "Strong As I Am", all "Strong As I Am".

FOUR mp3 versions: The Prime Movers, Show of Hands/Altered State and Gregory Markel Solo.  The Prime Movers music video, Gregory Markel Live Video.  The Pivotal scences in Manhunter and Abraxas: Gaurdian of The Universe.  "Strong As I Am" Fan creations.  Lyrics, Interviews, compilations, anything "Strong As I Am" it's here!

For more "Strong As I Am", Prime Movers, Show of Hands, Altered State and "The Voice" Gregory Markel, you can find it all on myspace:

www.myspace.com/gregorymarkelrocks
www.myspace.com/primemovers
www.myspace.com/showofhandschordinside
www.myspace.com/alteredstatedos
www.myspace.com/strongasiam

Want more?  I got more:

www.gregorymarkel.com
www.primemoversmusic.com
www.alteredstate.com
www.freewebs.com/alteredstatedos

Laides the official myspace/alteredstatedos "Strong As I Am" shirt!  www.alteredstatedos.spreadshirt.com

And get yourself Autographed Copies of Altered State "DOS" featuring "Strong As I Am" only at www.alteredstate.com

kyle@gregorymarkel.com
714-656-4170

[Adam]

The soft jazz!! holy crap... i couldn't even finish watching the short clip.

[Mr_Vindictive]

Ugh.

I actually picked this one up on a double feature dvd with Slipstream (which I already own) for 1.00 at the local WalGreens.

Terrible, terrible stuff.

[HarlotBug3]

I was always curious about this movie as a child, but only because our cat was named Abraxas. Silly right?


The fight...with the elevator music...I don't think I could laugh hard enough to dull the pain of this one. Thanks for the warning.

[Ryan]

I heard over at the IMDB boards that Abraxas may get the Criterion treatment. I'd rather maybe see it get proper treatment from Anchor Bay or Blue Underground. It would be cheaper than what Criterion can give you.

Anyway, I think this movie could have been on MST3K. Maybe the Film Crew, RiffTrax, or Cinematic Titanic could handle this.

btw, I'm looking for a copy from Cineplex Odeon Home Video. I know it may sound silly, but I'm just looking for it. If anyone has that exact copy from Cineplex Odeon Home Video, let me know at ryan02732@gmail.com

[Terf]

Hee, hee! I haven't seen this movie, but I just wanted to comment on the "Buy" option above. 53 Cents... Are there any movies CHEAPER than that on Amazon?! XD Well, maybe, but wow... it must be bad.

[Valentine Kutter]

Oh yeah !!
One of the *snicker* greatest action movies *snicker* of the early 90's *snicker* is finally mine......

OK, almost made it thru that with a straight face.

Thanks to Digiview and Wal-mart this "gem" is mine for a whole dollar. PLUS its a double feature with Brandon Lee's "Laser Mission". How can you go wrong ? BUt seriously this is one of the bad at its best.

VK