Some of my favorite TV commercial reality flaws.

[Ash]

OR HOW 'BOUT THIS?

[Doc Daneeka]

Here are some products you may want to test before you assume they do exactly what the commercials suggest.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cn7PtQgrf_o

[Andrew]

I should also mention the sad event some now call the "Old Spice Star Blazers Incident."

I accidentally splashed on too much of this highly-effective woman-attracting solution one night.  Already late to meet with some friends at the movies, I rushed out without doing what I could to reduce the dosage.

Upon entering the mall, I was suddenly surrounded by a mob of women.  They clung to me, just like the asteroids stuck to the Argo in that one episode of "Star Blazers" where they pull in asteroids with magnetic rockets to camouflage and shield the space battleship while making critical repairs.

Soon, too many women were stuck to me and some started running in circles around the central mass, looking for an open place to touch my heavily-cologned body.  (Again, just like in the "Star Blazers" episode.)  These rapidly circling women were not looking where they were going and began to impact on other mall visitors.  Other men moved away from the danger zone, but women, unable to resist my Old Spice lure, continued to run directly at me.  Very few were able to pass through the existing outer ring of spinning women without causing a collision.  The carnage was terrible.

Since that day, I have always sworn to use Old Spice in a responsible manner.

(No idea why writing this caught my fancy.  Maybe I will make it into a Random Thought.).

[Doc Daneeka]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTjTnjUftQw Speaking of orbit, try some gushers WW!

[Dennis]

LOL ulthar!
It never occured to me that sentence could have a double meaning when I wrote it.
Too funny!  

By the way Wyre...you want a TV commercial with a serious reality flaw?

WATCH THIS

Actually I think this might make a fairly decent movie, I can see it now, they try to take over the world by infiltrating into our bodies as carbonated orange juice, the title could be, The Creatures from the Black Hole of the Orange Tree Nebula, starring Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and John Travolta, with a special guest appearance by George Kennedy of course. Screenplay by the Church of Scientology.

[Yaddo 42]

I had no idea Old Spice had that kind of power. It must work differently on the guy at work who uses too much, it makes him, a married man, give out his phone number to any female who is even remotely attractive. Plus I'm told it's the deo of choice for big time pot smokers who want to mask the scent. This guy's definitely a member of that club.

Years ago, I was told that the combo of Drakkar Noir and Marlboro cigarettes would drive women crazy, like the effect in the TAG ads. A girl I knew said she and several of the girls she worked with were all trying to jump the bones of the guy they worked at Krystal with who used those two products. She even said he wasn't that attractive, but the scent did something to them. Then again they did work at Krystal so all bets were off.

I feel cheated that when I eat Mentos, groups of really attractive people don't appear and get in stupid, wacky mini-adventures while grinning like lobotomized idiots. I miss out on all that pretty, happy lighthearted fun. Boo hoo.

I'm hoping, just hoping that if I get a T-Mobile cell phone Catherine Zeta-Jones will appear. Don't care about the phone so much, but if it'll act as CZJ bait, I sign the damn contract.

How come when I buy Mike's Hard Lemonade aliens don't come parachuting from the sky to kidnap pretty women in the parking lot? Loved that commercial, wish it still aired.

Is there really a rash of lynching parties for old-fashioned chuck wagon drivers who use salsa made in New York City (NEW YORK CITY!!!) instead of Pace?

Edit to fix spelling after the fact. Missed one.

[Shadow]

You mean commercials are not real? Wow. Now I can safely drink Kool-Aid without fear of a giant, smiling pitcher of the stuff with arms and legs coming crashing through the nearest wall...or sample a Slim Jim without pro wrestlers appearing out of nowhere. 

[Andrew]

...or sample a Slim Jim without pro wrestlers appearing out of nowhere. 

I wouldn't bet on it, brother.  Yeah!

Yaddo, you might be able to find some of those commercials on the web. I know that there is at least one website that maintains a database of commercials and quite a few seem to pop up on YouTube.

EDIT: adding more for Yaddo, without creating another post.

[Mr_Vindictive]

Years ago, I was told that the combo of Drakkar Noir and Marlboro cigarettes would drive women crazy, like the effect in the TAG ads. A girl I knew said she and several of the girls she worked with were all trying to jump the bones of the guy they worked at Krystal with who used those two products. She even said he wasn't that attractive, but the scent did something to them. Then again they did work at Krystal so all bets were off.

Damn you Yaddo for mentioning Krystal!  Now I want a sack full of tiny burgers......

[Yaddo 42]

Go! Go Now! No matter how far it is or whatever reason you may have for not going, go anyway!

You, yes, you too may have a silly and pointless story about how much you love Krystals or something that's supposed to be wacky or unusual that happens to you on the way to Krystal. Then you could tell Krystal about it and you could star in a stupid commercial reenacting your story.

Can you tell I've seen a lot of these? The one about the guys who go to a combo Krystal/gas station who are running on fumes but go through the drive through first only to run out of gas and have to push their truck to the window is a particular "favorite" of mine.

Plus if WyreWizard were to see it, he could attack the ad as unrealistic and unbelievable, and you could reveal yourself as the source of this true Krystal tale.

Then his universe would collapse upon itself.

[Mr_Vindictive]

Yaddo,

Oh I wish I could.  You have no idea.

I live in North Carolina and to my knowledge there are no Krystals in the state.  I have family down in Georgia, near Atlanta and I always make Krystals a priority while I'm down there.  Those burgers are addictive...their little buns....tiny onions...........yum!

[Shadow]

I live in North Carolina and to my knowledge there are no Krystals in the state.

There are a couple in Asheville, but that's clear on the other side of the state from you, isn't it?

The closest one to me is about 1500 miles away. Needless to say, I have never sampled them.

[BeyondTheGrave]

I never even heard of Krystals until this thread. I though you guys where talking about a strip club 

Far as I know none here in NYC.

[dean]

I never even heard of Krystals until this thread. I though you guys where talking about a strip club 

Far as I know none here in NYC.

You and me both rich, though I'm hoping the fact that I have an entire ocean seperating me from this mythical place of 'sacks full of burgers' is a good thing not an old one.

I have to admit that a sack full of tiny burgers does sound oddly fascinating...

[Yaddo 42]

Rich, I've never had White Castle burgers, but I'm told Krystals are very similar. Once upon a time, I read an article about the White Castle/Krystal rivalry. White Castle was mostly in the northern states, Krystal being a southern staple. Supposedly the only place they both had stores in was Nashville, TN. Wikipedia say they also overlap in Kentucky.

They sell frozen White Castle "sliders" in the grocery stores here, but I haven't tried them. Figured I'd wait for the real thing.

Dean, check out the Wikipedia article on Krystal or go to the Krystal website www.krystlco.com for a better idea of the burgers.

As a kid I loved them, now I need a large drink to choke down more than one, they stick in my throat. But they are popular still in the American South. And their chili cheese fries are very popular where I live.

Well I tried to keep to the topic of commercials, and opened a whole new can of worms.