The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

Andrew · March 25, 2007, 07:55:38 AM

Watched this last night and I had forgotten how awful it was. The plot is threadbare, involving the old magician and his antique shop, the kid who is our main protagonist, the mean gang members that steal the kid's money, and the Garbage Pail Kids. That last group is kept in a magical can until an accident (involving the gang messing with the kid) sets them loose.

The gang is comprised of four members. Two men, two girls - though one of the girls is a gorilla woman who is stronger than both of the guys together. The other girl is a guerrilla fashion designer who uses Dodger's (the young kid) crush on her to get what she wants. What she wants is the clothing designed and stitched by the Garbage Pail Kids.

Hey, this gang is so tough that they have a minivan.

The main attraction should be the Garbage Pail Kids. However, the suits are not up to the task. Ali Gator is probably the most expressive, but that might be a result of the longer snout. The eyes on all of the title characters barely move and most of them cannot open their mouths more than a fraction. The special effects used for most of the GPK's powers are minor. Urine (water) pours out of Nat Nerd's suit, Valerie Vomit does her trick once, Foul Phil says mommy a lot, Windy Winston often "assumes the position" and loud fart effects ensue, while Messy Tessie always has a small amount of slime near her nose. Oops, missed somebody: Greaser Greg does brandish a switchblade at times, but never uses it. For the most part, it appears that Phil Fondacaro (inside the suit) is having a hard time seeing where he is going.

The Garbage Pail Kids main desire is to find the other mutant children who are missing. We learn that the others were taken to the State Home for the Ugly, and then crushed in a garbage compactor. This is something that the present bunch are in danger of experiencing after the gang tricks Dodger and turns the kids in to the State Home (the place also has Santa, Abe Lincoln, and Phil Fondacaro in a snazzy suit incarcerated).

The acting is terrible, I kept remembering Anthony Newley's (he is the magician) bare butt from "Can Hieronymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?", and I quickly got tired of short scenes with the GPK's trying to look active despite the restrictive suits. This is a skull.

KYGOTC · March 25, 2007, 10:54:05 AM

Wow! a SKULL?! I havent seen it yet, but i saw a copy of it up at hot topic and i was going to get it but its to expensive. It looks pretty cool, but is it really THAT boring?

On other note, i want to get the animated series. I saw one up at Slackers, but it was 22 bux.

SaintMort · March 25, 2007, 12:52:07 PM

There was a reason this was my number 2 on the 5 movies you had the misfortune of watching list

Ash · March 25, 2007, 03:33:13 PM

I used to collect Garbage Pail Kids like crazy in the 80's and must've had at least 500-1000 of them.

I remember watching the GPK movie when I was a teenager and thinking it was bad back then.
Haven't seen it since 1989 or '90.

It's ranked #54 on the IMDB's bottom 100 list.

Andrew · March 25, 2007, 04:23:06 PM

It is boring and also it fails to go anywhere. When you watch a movie you are expecting to hear a story, enjoy the time you spend immersed in the story. In this case, not only do you start looking at the time marker to find out how much more is left, but when it is over you feel like the time could have been better spent doing something else.

I actually started thinking "I should be washing some of the dishes from dinner that have been soaking." while I was watching this film.

Captain Tars Tarkas · March 25, 2007, 10:59:51 PM

I've seen this in theaters three times, the FourStar theater in SF used to play it all the time for its Midnight shows, it usually sold out, and we all got GPK stickers at the door. I was not allowed to see it in theaters or collect the cards as a kid, so it ruled. I own the movie both on VHS and DVD, as it is a bad movie classic. No other movie has "Weird Al" in jail for being too weird.

Joe · March 26, 2007, 04:32:06 AM

i bought this on dvd at pathmark for 9.99

SaintMort · March 26, 2007, 12:26:32 PM

Quote from: Tars Tarkas on March 25, 2007, 10:59:51 PM
No other movie has "Weird Al" in jail for being too weird.

If I want to watch weird Al in a movie I'll just watch UHF... it's much more painless

TheSinisterQuinn · March 26, 2007, 02:40:37 PM

Wow..... I've collected the cards and never seen the movie?
Perhaps I deserve the punishment.

KYGOTC · March 26, 2007, 03:34:45 PM

WHOA! Weird al izzin there!? Sorry Andrew, but i gotta see it now.

Andrew · March 26, 2007, 04:37:36 PM

Welcome aboard Quinn, though I am not certain you will thank me if you actually go out and procure this movie for a viewing.

To my knowledge Weird Al is not in the film, but a character who is obviously intended to look like him is seen in a cage at the State Home for the Ugly. You see him from a short distance away and that is about the sum total of his contribution to the film.

Notice how SaintMort spoke about the other film, "more painless" - as in moving away from the pain that is "The Garbage Pail Kids."

Torgo · March 26, 2007, 05:58:08 PM

Poogie · March 26, 2007, 06:29:01 PM

Quote from: Andrew on March 25, 2007, 04:23:06 PM

I actually started thinking "I should be washing some of the dishes from dinner that have been soaking." while I was watching this film.

Oh Andrew...I couldn't resist this one..."dishes from dinner that have been soaking." You must be related to Dennis, (the famous they're soaking trick) sometimes his dishes soak clear until morning. heheheheheheheheheh

Men.....

I had to come back

I'm still laughing

Andrew · March 26, 2007, 06:52:07 PM

Due to Katie's work schedule, I end up cleaning up after dinner, giving the kids their bath, putting them to bed, etc.

I believe that we had eaten stuffed peppers that night and, hence, the dishes involved were soaked for a bit. The dishes are always done before I go to bed. The dishes from tonight are all done.

Poogie · March 26, 2007, 07:14:59 PM

Quote from: Andrew on March 26, 2007, 06:52:07 PM
Due to Katie's work schedule, I end up cleaning up after dinner, giving the kids their bath, putting them to bed, etc.

I believe that we had eaten stuffed peppers that night and, hence, the dishes involved were soaked for a bit. The dishes are always done before I go to bed. The dishes from tonight are all done.

Well you were a very good boy tonight...I hope you know I was teasing you. It made me laugh because my better half uses the excuse that the dishes are soaking all the time. Usually I do them, but there are times I'll wait around, he'll go in and start filling the sink to let them soak and says he'll do them a little later. Next thing I know it's morning and there he is doing the dishes. Anyway you made my day when I read that.