Transformer (2007): BEWARE

[GoHawks]

I too finally got around to seeing this film on DVD.  *** NO NEED TO READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU LIKED THIS MOVIE ***

I never watched any of those 80s/90s 30-minute commercials cartoons (although I was aware of them), so I didn't have any emotional investment from childhood biasing me.

Michael Bay, on the other hand, was a known quantity.  Said quantity being 'zero'.  Zero, as in what his films are worth, as in how many stars I would give to any of his films, as in what the IQ of someone must be if they think Michael Bay is a genius filmmaker.  Another known quantity was Shia LaBeouf.  Based on these and other considerations (e.g. 'PG-13' instead of 'R') I figured I would not like this film, but at least it wouldn't annoy me.  I even held out hope that it would be somewhat entertaining.

I'll cut right to the chase here and say that about the only thing I liked about this movie was Jon Voight's character.  Most of the gripes I have with this film have been pointed out earlier, so here are some that haven't.

• The cartoon was essentially a commercial for the toys.  This movie was a 2-hour commercial for Chevy.
• Every time Shia LaBeouf was on screen, I felt like I was watching the Disney Channel.
• Not only were the robot fight scenes hard to tell what was happening, but to someone who had no idea what robot was what, I also didn't know if I should be cheering or saddened whenever a robot got whomped.  Maybe they could have put some sort of good-guy/bad-guy thing on all the robots that was obvious.
• That one little bad robot/ghetto blaster seemed to have about 50% of all the robot time in the movie, and every time he was on screen I simply could not suspend my disbelief (e.g. sneaking off of and away from Air Force One).  These parts of the film especially felt like they were meant for 3-5 year-olds.
• There was no consistency with how long it took a robot to transform, other than whatever the current mood of the film required.  Sometimes they were agonizingly slow, other times they were effectively instantaneous.
• Other than Jon Voight's character, I simply did not like anyone in this film.  Most characters I actively hated.  It's hard to like a movie that doesn't have anyone likable in it.
• The absolutely ludicrous hotwiring scene.  She literally reaches under the dash and pulls out two and only two wires that are not attached to anything and already have their ends stripped.  All she has to do is touch them together once and the engine starts right up.  Total elapsed time from opening door to running vehicle: about 2 seconds.

Well, my spleen has been vented enough for today.  The good news is that I watched it at a friend's house, so I didn't even pay to rent the DVD.   

I can foresee no reason for me to ever watch this movie again.  (Although I'll probably watch Transformers 2 on DVD.)   

[RapscallionJones]

I don't really have anything against this movie, but I wasn't particularly interested in seeing it.  You'll never know how absolutely baffling those sentiments were to my friends.  They couldn't get their heads around it.  How could anyone, let alone a guy who was the appropriate age to have fond memories of the toys not give a s**t about the movie event of our lifetime?  I, quite simply, didn't care.  I grew up kind of poor so I never really had any of the toys when I was a little kid and I suspect that this is where the disconnect happens.

Everyone I know did everything in their power to get me excited about it and nothing worked.  I was also turned off by the near constant advertising for the movie and related merchandise.  I know people who bought tickets two weeks in advance to be there on opening night.  I even know a guy who changed his entire Myspace to a Transformers theme and spent weeks waxing romantic on his Myspace blog about how it was the single most important thing is his life from the time he was 9 years old and if you think it couldn't possibly get any worse, he put a public call out for a lovely woman to accompany him for an evening of dinner, dancing and robots in disguise.  I have no idea how that worked out.

[Caronte]

Giants robots fighting and destroying cities  ...need to say something more??

[cqmorrell]

My only gripe with Transformers is that the scenes involving humans felt like they went on for way too long (even though Megan Fox is quite attractive, I've dealt with too many girls like her character to even care about her). Other than that, I was happy with it. Loved hearing Peter Cullen voice Optimus Prime again, it just wouldn't have been the same without him.

Was actually more excited about Cloverfield than the actual feature itself though ...

[AndyC]

It was good to have Cullen. I would have been better to have Frank Welker as well. I couldn't really see the point of using an actor like Hugo Weaving when his voice was not really recognizable anyway.

I would have to agree with anyone who found the tape deck robot annoying. Aside from being overused, and not an original character, it just reminded me that Soundwave wasn't in the movie.

Funny, the resizing of robots as they transform was not considered believable, yet the Transformers just took on whatever vehicle form they happened to see without any explanation.

[HappyGilmore]

I generally stay away from a movie if Michael Bay is attached.  But, overall I did like the movie.  Shia LeBeouf, I've been a fan of since the Even Stevens days, so it's good to see someone that's somewhat remotely normal step out of the Disney mold. 

[Jim H]

As of today, 8 July, 2007, TRANSFORMERS has earned $152,600,000 in the US and Canada box office and another $93,600,000  overseas.  That's a total of 246.2 million dollars, globally, for a profit of nearly 100 million dollars.  That's after only one week.  That profit figure will only continue to rise.

Just a small side note: the studios don't get 100% of the gross.  Overall, it's usually close to 55%-60%.  They also spend a TON of money on advertising  (I'd say in excess of 30 million on Transformers) and distribution of the film.  Of course, they also got a ton of money from product placement and merchandising....

But yeah, with a worldwide total of about $700 million and brisk DVD sales expected, Transformers was an even bigger success than the studios hoped for.  It means we'll be seeing  a sequel, probably two.

[Neville]

(Shrugs at the thought of sequels)

[AndyC]

The good thing about sequels is that they can at least dispense with character introductions, and possibly even fix what they got wrong on the original. It happens sometimes.

Dumping the Decepticons into the ocean was obviously done so that they could establish their underwater base in the next adventure. Mind you, I would have melted them down, but that would actually have kept them dead. And Optimus sent his message to the autobots still out among the stars.

We'll probably see a rehash of all the lamest gags in the sequel, along with a parade of additional characters. As for the story, I'd kind of like to see the space bridge come into play. It would also be nice to see Devastator.

[Neville]

And another director. Please.

[Nev]

I took this movie with a grain of salt.  A classic cartoon from my childhood brought to the silver screen.  Even if Hitler was directing i owed it to my innerchild to see it.  i did......

i was entertained for my 7.50$

was it the most amazing film ever....no

could they have played more in to the actual history of the all spark and megatron....yes

should the "epic battle" between megatron and prime been longer....oh i think you know the answer.

with many other gripes i have towards this film and the scum bag director, i still like th movie(of course my wife loooooved). Megan fox is hot, i don't mind shia lebouf(or however its spelled).  PUT IT THIS WAY, if you haven't seen this movie and you want to, mute the movie when people are talking, turn the volume waaaay up when explosions and robots appear

[BTM]

In case anyone's wondering why Megan Fox was such a big draw...

[Killer Bees]

I actually like Michael Bay movies (my not so secret shame is now revealed).  I saw Transformers on the weekend and I liked it.  I was never into the comics/cartoons/whathaveyou, so I don't have any particular loyalty to it.

But I was entertained and Shia LeBeouf is quite a good actor considering he's still young.  I just hope he doesn't saturate the market and end up with the public hating him because of over exposure.

I agree with the other poster who said that it's hard to keep up with the action sometimes, but I suspect if you have a honking big tv screen it would be eaiser to focus.