Recent viewings

[claws]

re-watch We Are the Night (2010)

Three female vampires living the posh life of immortality at night take in a young female thief named Lena. Once bitten the girl transforms from grungy to beautiful swan, with the leader of the vampires falling in love with her. Things get complicated when Lena must kill for the first time to still her ever growing hunger. Soon enough she is torn between love and survival when a young investigating cop shows up with an affection for Lena.
Kind of like a female version of Near Dark (1987) with a plot similar to The Craft (1996). We Are the Night is a stylish and tastefully done vampire flick made in Germany, with an interesting setting (Berlin) and characters. Very enjoyable. 4.5/5

[Jack]

Alien Uprising (2008) - low budget Aliens type movie where a group of space Marines go to a prison planet; all contact was lost and they're supposed to find out what's going on. Turns out they were conducting genetic research on the inmates and one of them was turned into some unstoppable alien creature. Things took a turn for the worse after that. The Marines find a few survivors among the inmates and team up with them to stop the monster. Or just escape. This wasn't bad, characters were decent and it had plenty of action. Only really comical part was the laser gun battles, what a kaleidoscope of cheesy colors. And of course they can't hit the broad side of a barn. 3.5/5.

[indianasmith]

Last night I watched EXTRATERRESTRIAL, a pretty decent alien abduction flick - a group of friends go to the country to spend a weekend at a cabin that one girl's parents are preparing to sell.  Things get hairy when a flying saucer crashes nearby and they shoot one of the occupants in a moment of panic.  Great effects, decent suspense, ending was a horrible downer, though.  4/5

[Rev. Powell]

STARRY EYES (2014): A struggling, desperate young L.A. actress finally gets a callback, but the auditions are increasingly humiliating, and the casting agent wears a pentagram... Drags at times, but overall an interesting blend of horror and Hollywood satire. Actors will likely identify with the scenario. 3/5.

[Jack]

Battleship (2012) - watched this again. Alien mega-machines come to earth and the Navy has to blast 'em to bits. Other than the fact that it took too long getting started, and showing us not once, not twice, but three times that the main character is an idiot, it was a good fun blockbuster. 4/5.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Pitch Perfect" (2012)

https://youtube.com/devicesupport

My wife has suddenly fallen in love with this movie, which is getting mucho cable play lately due to the imminent release of its sequel. Basically it's a raunchier version of the "Glee" concept - an all-girl collegiate a cappella singing group suffers a humiliating defeat at the national finals in New York City, so as the new school year starts they recruit some new dysfunctional members and try to regain their former glory, battling several other rival groups on campus along the way.

I was prepared to go "Pffft, chick flick" but I have to admit it, some of the gags in this were actually pretty damn funny and besides, I could look at Anna Kendrick all day, she's a cutie.

[Rev. Powell]

MASTER OF THE FLYING GUILLOTINE (1976): A blind master of the "Flying Guillotine" (a sort of decapitating beekeeper's hat on a chain) searches for the One-Armed Boxer, disrupting a martial arts tournament in the process. Imaginative acrobatics and exuberant goofiness make this nonstop melee a potent guilty pleasure. Probably my favorite martial arts film outside of ENTER THE DRAGON. I'd say 5/5 stars on a kung fu scale, 4.5/5 for the general bad movie fan, or 3.5/5 for the average movie fan with no interest in martial arts. Make it a point to see this one if you haven't yet.

Andrew's review: http://www.badmovies.org/movies/mguillotine/

[lester1/2jr]

Hell Squad (1986) - This is the worst movie I've seen since Chickboxer and definitely the worst movie I've seen this year. It's not one of those movies with bad pacing or insipid dialogue though it has that, it's one of those movies where when people fire a gun there's no blood or impact the person falls down like a little kid playing cowboys and Indians. That is to say: Ed Wood jr type bad with no artistic merit to speak of. It appears as though it was made very quickly by people who wanted to put it out on vhs and make a quick return.

A diplomat's son is kidnapped by Arab sheiks so they get the idea to hire a dozen female commandos to rescue him. They don't actually hire some commandos though, they find a bunch of Las Vegas showgirls and TRAIN them to be commandos. One of the showgirls is Joyce Mandel from Russ Myer movies, but somehow she doesn't make the cut??  Instead 5 flat chested girls do the mission in her place okay. We see one women topless a decent looking blonde she is clearly the only one they paid the extra 75 dollars to.

The dialogue is awful and seems to have been made up on the spot. The jokes aren't just not funny or corny, they are delivered poorly and aren't even jokes and make you cringe not laugh.

My favorite moment is probably when they have to traverse this incredibly small pond (@1:23)

http://youtu.be/0jos5Nk9xF8?t=1m23s

there's clearly plenty of room on either side and they don't film it in any sort of way to make it look bigger or less ridiculous.

In the last couple of scenes, which were apparently made after the original director left because he wasn't paid, boom mikes are clearly visible.

Don't be fooled by the girls in bikinis, they somehow aren't sexy. The dialogue is so bad and the directors doesn't try to make them alluring at all and the whole thing is so corny they come off like your older sisters annoying friends.

5/5

edit: or check out this guys "funny" review which is almost as bad as the movie itself http://www.amazon.com/review/R1DITRC2O8G65K/ref=cm_cr_dp_title?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B0009Q0FHI&channel=detail-glance&nodeID=2625373011&store=movies-tv

[Rev. Powell]

I love HELL SQUAD, glad that people are finally coming around to it 30 years later!

[lester1/2jr]

It was, on some level, a nice surprise. I rented it hoping it would be a decent 80's action movie and instead it was a semi notable turkey. that's what I call trading up!

[Jack]

I bought the VHS of Hell Squad on Amazon, only to find out it was edited and the unedited version was available on YouTube.  Doh! 

[claws]

Curtains (1983) (Blu-ray)

Six actresses audition for the same part at a secluded, snowbound mansion. The director is eccentric, and preparations for the part is tough. When the wife of the director shows up things get kind of out of hand - and suddenly a masked killer is stalking the grounds.

Above average Canadian slasher, not perfect but still engaging enough. The plot has a few glitches and there is an interesting, very minor subplot involving a creepy doll that is sadly not going anywhere. Decent production values for such a low budget feature, good acting from everyone involved, especially by Samantha Eggar who is conjuring up the spirit of her part in Cronenberg's The Brood. 4/5

[Jack]

Ragnarok (2013) - an archaeologist goes to northern Norway looking for evidence that the Vikings visited there. He finds a giant snake instead. This wasn't a bad little creature feature, it had some pretty scenery and the characters, despite some annoying overacting, weren't bad. Certainly wan't "thrilling" but a nice little time waster. 3/5.

[indianasmith]

Last night I watched an excellent, creepy horror film called THE DROWNSMAN. 
Twenty years ago a psychotic killer was kidnapping women and drowning them in a special tank in his basement.
One of his victims turned the tables on him, stabbing and drowning him and getting away.

Now a young girl, after a near-drowning accident, is seeing visions of him in her dreams  - and then in her waking life.
He can come through any amount of water.  Her friends think she is crazy till the Drownsman starts taking them too.
This was a nicely done little creep-fest! 4.5/5

[dean]

Goodbye World:

Early 30s folks gather at a secluded self sustaining farm house to reminisce, have relationship dramas and oh yeah there's some apocalypse happening after someone texts 'goodbye world' to everyone on the planet.

It's like the OC but for early 30s/late 20s uni grads. Overall the acting is actually not bad but the characterisations and the plot are just a bit of a misfire not knowing when it wants to be funny and when it should make things more tense.

2/5.