Recent viewings

Torgo · February 22, 2009, 05:13:17 AM

KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE *** out of ****. Slightly uneven but overall very funny spoof movie from 1977.

Jack · February 22, 2009, 08:57:37 AM

Alien vs. Hunter - some uninteresting people walk through a tunnel for about an hour. The alien is a giant spider, as big as an SUV. As the people are walking through the tunnel, which is about 8' high and 6' wide, the spider (big as an SUV) is hiding on the ceiling and picks one off. The survivors exit the tunnel in good spirits. One guy is at the back of the line of people going through the tunnel, he stops for a moment and forgets if the rest are ahead of him or behind him. He gets killed. By the spider that's three times too big to fit in the tunnel. The Hunter is a guy in a black armored suit. He moves in slow motion and judging by all the point-of-view shots, he's nearly blind. Dedee Pfeiffer's wardrobe keeps changing in every other scene. Overall a boring and pointless waste of time - 1.5/5.

Dennis · February 22, 2009, 10:59:36 AM

Taking Chance, excellent film about escorting a deceased marine home to be buried, in my opinion this film is the 21st century version of "The Best Years of Our lives" and is every bit as good. It can be seen on HBO tonight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehWAxdLSoQM

Torgo · February 23, 2009, 04:33:04 AM

SMOKEY ANDTHE BANDIT *** out of ****

asimpson2006 · February 23, 2009, 07:37:48 AM

Nixon *** out of ****. Not so bad of a film IMO. Not one of my favorites, but I did enjoy watching it. I felt it could have been shorter with a lot less of the constant switches between black and white and color shots. I just didn't think it needed to be so much for the whole film. I mean I don't have a problem with b&w and color shots being in a film, but I think just think that the more it switches, the more I think it becomes annoying.

Jack · February 23, 2009, 08:50:51 AM

Hydra (2009) - a group of criminals are dropped off on an island so a group of rich guys can hunt them. There's of course a hydra on the island. Painfully predictable. Every time a hunter is about to kill a criminal, the hydra shows up and eats him. How laughably punctual of him. Never really bothers the convicts at all though. They've got enough problems running right up to hunters without seeing them. Luckily the magic sword that can kill the hydra is also on the island. Characters were okay, they had some development to them. The Hydra actually looked okay. The ending was good for a chuckle. Hell, every action scene was good for a chuckle. It didn't distinguish itself in any way whatsoever from the other 50 or so creature features the Sci-Fi Channel has put out. An extremely ho-hum 3/5.

Doggett · February 23, 2009, 10:08:28 AM

My Super Ex Girlfriend.
2/5

My Super Waste Of Time.

Rev. Powell · February 25, 2009, 07:55:52 PM

TROMEO AND JULIET (1996): Troma's version of Shakespeare's beloved tragedy is just like the original, only with incest, Motorhead's Lemmy as a slurring narrator, bad punk hairdos, explicit nipple piercing, gratuitous nudity, fart jokes, cheezy gore, lesbian sex, Shakespearean porn CD-ROMs ("As You Lick It"), exploding crossbows, alien monster penises, punks caught in the windows of speeding cars, vegetarian propaganda, self-mutilation, outrageous costumes, references to other Troma movies, bad vaudeville routines, a popcorn pregnancy, a plexiglass isolation booth used for "time outs" when Juliet has sex dreams, 500 lb. male phone sex operators, urination, tattoo needles in the eyeball, Hitler statuettes embedded in brains, severed heads, car crashes, child abuse, opium dens, acid trips, cow-faced women, puking, pedophile priests, a "happy" ending, and occasional iambic pentameter. 4/5.

indianasmith · February 25, 2009, 10:09:34 PM

Quote from: Rev. Powell on February 25, 2009, 07:55:52 PM
TROMEO AND JULIET (1996): Troma's version of Shakespeare's beloved tragedy is just like the original, only with incest, Motorhead's Lemmy as a slurring narrator, bad punk hairdos, explicit nipple piercing, gratuitous nudity, fart jokes, cheezy gore, lesbian sex, Shakespearean porn CD-ROMs ("As You Lick It"), exploding crossbows, alien monster penises, punks caught in the windows of speeding cars, vegetarian propaganda, self-mutilation, outrageous costumes, references to other Troma movies, bad vaudeville routines, a popcorn pregnancy, a plexiglass isolation booth used for "time outs" when Juliet has sex dreams, 500 lb. male phone sex operators, urination, tattoo needles in the eyeball, Hitler statuettes embedded in brains, severed heads, car crashes, child abuse, opium dens, acid trips, cow-faced women, puking, pedophile priests, a "happy" ending, and occasional iambic pentameter. 4/5.

Really. I think Bill should have sued them.

This movie had NO redeeming characteristics whatsoever. Why did I watch it again?

Jack · February 26, 2009, 08:41:57 AM

Little Farm - an interesting little short, you can watch it here: http://www.atom.com/funny_videos/little_farm/
Lots of swearing, probably not safe for work. Good atmosphere and characters. It's worth ten minutes

lester1/2jr · February 26, 2009, 10:08:07 AM

the man who laughs (1928) - many are dissapointed with this german expressionist silent film because it appears at first glance to be a horror movie but actually isn't. A boy has his face cruelly disfigured into a permenent nancy pelosi style rictus smile and grows to become a famous clown. Though it is cruel for people to taunt him for his face, the viewer who is particularly peeved about it not being a horror movie may be able to relate, as it is a good but none too scary telling of a classical victor hugo literary creation. You can almost see college film 101 students fidgeting in their chairs. conrad veidt is very good as the clown and I loved the trashy duchess who takes an interest in him, but this is purely for cinephiles and is not accesible a la " the phantom of the opera" or something. He also kind of reminded me of Jerry Seinfeld

Doggett · February 26, 2009, 12:05:10 PM

Class of Nuke 'em High
3/5
It's rather restrained for a Troma pic' little nudity or violence. Very 80's punk feel to it.

The Avengers
2.5/5
I love the ending and the bad guys dressed as teddies. Raph* Fiennes has the creepiest smile ever. And the swearing was well out of order...

*If he isn't gonna pronounce the "L" then I'm not gonna write it.

Rev. Powell · February 26, 2009, 10:44:47 PM

REINCARNATION (2005): An actress is haunted by visions of a young girl, then finds herself cast in the role of the real-life murder victim who is haunting her. Atmospheric J-horror that plays out like a subtler version of THE SHINING. 4/5.

schmendrik · February 26, 2009, 11:01:00 PM

Finally watched Casino Royale. Daniel Craig kind of grew on me, it's a pretty good movie. I'll give it 4 **** out of 5. A lot of the action was so over the top it made me laugh, but you gotta love taking out a bad guy with a nail gun. And (spoiler, sort of) will buildings in Venice really sink like that if you do that? And Eva Green -- whoa.

Jack · February 27, 2009, 11:08:45 PM

Universal Soldiers - that's Soldiers, plural. This is the Asylum knockoff. Quite an experience. Some people, apparently they're military? I'm guessing they were all told to wear whatever olive drab and/or camouflage clothing they owned. Normally uniforms are, you know, uniform. There's not a single piece of clothing on any of these folks that is the same as any other piece of clothing that anyone else is wearing. One guy has a green dress shirt with a button down collar. Anyhow, there's apparently some bad guys lurking about. Cyborg soldiers? Genetically modified soldiers? I have no idea. There was an earthquake and now they're on the rampage. So our group of people need to get somewhere. Either to the mainframe or to the armory. They argue about where. Walk for a minute, fight for ten minutes. One gets killed by a spear thrown by someone off camera. So they walk for a minute, then they sit down and bond for five minutes. Somebody else gets killed by a spear thrown by someone off camera. So they walk for a minute, then they fight for ten minutes. Someone gets killed by a spear thrown by someone off camera. A guy hides behind a tree. Unbeknownst to him, another guy is hiding on the other side of the tree. They both circle the tree, wondering who's on the other side. Guy A punches guy B, guy B shoots guy A. Yes, the Asylum is ripping off Scooby Doo now.

Did I mention that the sound is all f'd up? The microphone used for this was obviously broken. Yes, a group of film makers couldn't even find someone to BORROW a working microphone from. All the dialog sounds like it's coming out of a walkie talkie, and we're a bit too far from the transmitter to get a clear signal. So yeah, the guy who's apparently in charge makes repeated speeches about how he won't leave anyone behind, even as he repeatedly leaves everyone behind. At one point they encounter one of the bad guys, draw their weapons, and they're all out of ammo. So then a few seconds later, one guy shoots a boulder (out of ammo, remember?) which causes it to roll on top of the bad guy. Then he shoots another bad guy (out of ammo), and yet a third bad guy. Jeez, I could write another 500 words just pointing out the ridiculousness of it all.

One of my favorite scenes is when they finally get where they're going. They enter a small building, one of the Universal Soldiers tries to break down the door. A guy desperately holds the door shut, the soldier pounds on it, trying to open it. This goes on for a while. There's a big freakin' window in the door. It's quite obvious that there's not even any glass in it.

I have to say, this ranks right up there with the most ridiculous pieces of crap I've ever seen in my life.