The new magaizine has arrived

[sprite75]

Ernie: Oh hi, Bert.
Bert: Hi, Ernie.
Ernie: Say, is that the new edition of Playgirl? 
Bert: Sure is!  Would you like to borrow it when I'm done?
Ernie: Yes, oh yes!!
Bert: Ok, but try not to mess it up this time...

[Leah]

Bert: _{Let see, how to stab your obnoxious bastard of a friend chapter 18}

[Mr. DS]

"Sorry Ernie but this medical book says nothing about small animals stuck in your rectum.  Why are you asking anyways?"

[Leah]

Bert: Yes Ernie, dis is a Rachael Ray cook book!

[sprite75]

"Sorry Ernie but this medical book says nothing about small animals stuck in your rectum.  Why are you asking anyways?"

Would this be why?

[AndyC]

"How the hell am I supposed to get in that position, Ernie?"

[Hammock Rider]

"You're right Ern, they definitely screwed up. Our contract specifically requires Fiji Water, a bowl of green M&Ms and a half dozen Taiwanese strippers at every personal appearance."

[Chainsawmidget]

"MY face!  My God!  The book is eating my face!"

[sprite75]

BERT

    She speaks:
    O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art
    As glorious to this night, being o'er my head
    As is a winged messenger of heaven
    Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes
    Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him
    When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds
    And sails upon the bosom of the air.

ERNIE

    O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
    Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
    Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
    And I'll no longer be a Capulet.

[Leah]

Bert: OH MY GOD, IT SAIDS THAT WE'RE BIG BIRDS b***hES!!!!

[Leah]

Why does the pages taste like whip cream?

[RockMonster]

 Klaatu...barad... nikto