House of the Dead

[DistantJ]

House of the Dead was a kickass arcade game, which spawned a bunch of sequels and spinoffs which also kicked ass. It threw you in with a rediculous amount of Zombies, bad voice acting and B-Movie gore, armed you with a light-gun, and left you to defend yourself.

Not many people noticed it (at least not in the UK), but at some point, the infamous Uwe (Pronounced "hoover") Boll made a movie out of it. A movie involving footage from the game instead of special effects shots and drunk ravers shooting guns and doing kung fu. So is it as fun as it sounds?

Well, no.

I have a theory, though. Uwe (Pronounced "hoover") Boll actually IS a hoover. That's why he sucks so much. See, the studio were so desperate for a House of the Dead movie and were so short on money that instead of hiring the director, they just used a vaccuum cleaner.

This movie sucks. Just don't even bother. It's not even fun to laugh at - it just makes you sad that this Uwe (Hoover) fella is given money to make movies. I hope he ends up sucking up an old toy that somebody's left lying around and chokes on it.

Full review: http://www.hooplanet.co.uk/article.php?subaction=showfull&id=1177706619&archive=&start_from=&ucat=8&

[dean]

And who would have thought to make a sequel?  I'm tempted to pick it up but I have a mental problem that whenever I reach to even look at it, my brain just shuts off and goes into protective huddle mode.

[DistantJ]

XD yeah, I know I should maybe pick up the sequel sometime for reviewing purposes but I really dreading it.

[wtffilm]

Not that the sequel is any great work of genius, but it's a better film than Boll's.  I was actually able to sit through it - unlike the first film.

SciFi Channel - 1
Uwe Boll - 0

Kindest regards,

Kevin P.
http://www.wtf-film.com

[Mr_Vindictive]

What is wrong with you guys!?  House Of The Dead = CLASSIC....no, it's a MASTERPIECE.  The movie is absolutely awful but is a lot of fun to laugh at.  I love the shot of the zombie jumping out of the woods with a very obvious springboard.  It's a great film to get a bunch of people together, preferably drinking, and watch.

I seem to have a thing for Boll films.  I don't like the guy personally and think he's an ass.  I do love his films though.  I actually paid to see Alone In The Dark in the theater.  My wife still hasn't forgiven me for that one.

[Doc Daneeka]

Not that the sequel is any great work of genius, but it's a better film than Boll's.  I was actually able to sit through it - unlike the first film.

SciFi Channel - 1
Uwe Boll - 0

Kindest regards,

Kevin P.
http://www.wtf-film.com

Sorry man, but Uwe Boll's most famous work has one up on the Sci-Fi original...

...It was FUNNY. HOTD2 was just another bland, plodding "Aliens" takeoff with the cardboard marines.

[DistantJ]

Did anybody out there actually genuinely like House of the Dead? I mean how would it have raked in so much money and warranted a sequel otherwise?

[Mr_Vindictive]

DistantJ,

See my previous post.  I LOVED HOTD, but not for any normal reasons.  It's terrible but it's a hell of a lot of fun.

[DistantJ]

Yeah, but as in, do you geniunely like it or do you enjoy laughing at it? If you get my drift.

[Mr_Vindictive]

Well, I like the film because I can laugh at it but I also like it because it is so bad.  It's really a lot of fun mainly due to all of it's flaws.  I still feel that Uwe has a good film in him but I have yet to see it.  His direction does become slightly better with each film and I'm actually looking forward to Postal.

I have a problem.

[DistantJ]

I still feel that Uwe has a good film in him but I have yet to see it.

I gotta admit I kinda hear you on that. It's like with a bit more effort and learning he might come out with a really good mindless action flick.