My 100 Karma point comedy celebration!

[KYGOTC]

Yo mama's so fat, she once wore a bright yellow poncho and kids ran towards her shouting, "Wait, schoolbus, wait!"

Yo mama so fat, she wore a RED poncho and kids ran toward her shouting "KOOL-AID!"

[RCMerchant]

Paranoid drug addicts have sex doggie style so they can both stare out the window.

[Jack]

Subject: Ole's Car Accident

Ole had a car accident. Got hit by a truck.

In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Ole.
'Didn't you say, sir, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?' asked the lawyer.

Ole responded, 'Vell, I'll tell you vat happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the...'

'I didn't ask for any details', the lawyer interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'

Ole continued, 'Vell, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road....'

The lawyer interrupted again and said, 'Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Minnesota Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine.
Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Ole's answer and said to the lawyer, 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie.'

Ole thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Vell as I vas saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into da trailer and vas
driving her down da highvay ven dis huge semi-truck and trailer ran da stop sign and smacked my truck right in da side. I vas thrown into one ditch and Bessie vas thrown into da other. I vas hurting, real bad, and didn't vant to move. However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after da accident da Minnesota Highway Patrolman came to da scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her right between da eyes.
Then the Patrolman came across da road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, 'How are you feeling'?  Now vat the hell vould YOU say?'

[Patient7]

Karma Jack.

Here's one from a movie, can you guess which one?

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord?

My a$$.

[RCMerchant]

Ok-I got one! My wifey just told it to me...
A man and his wife were in bed late one night when they hear a knock at their front door. The man gets outta bed and opens it,to find a drunk standing there. the drunk guy says-"hey can ya help me out...I need a push."
Man says-" It's 2 O'clock in the morning...I ain't going outside in the middle of the night to give you a push."
He closes the door and turns to go back to bed. The guys wife says-"Honey...there were times when you were in the same boat as that fella...why dontcha give him a push!"
"Ok,ok"...so he goes back to the door and hollers out-"Hey-pal! I'll help ya out...where ya at?"
Drunk repies..."In the yard swing."

[indianasmith]

OK, I think I've karma'ed everyone . . . thanks for the great jokes!

Here's one to go to bed on:

What's black and white and red all over and won't fit through a revolving door?

A nun with a spear in her back!!!

[Trevor]

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My a$$.

That's from the immortal "Kung Pow: Enter The Fist". 

PS: I still don't get that joke. Maybe we weren't supposed to.

[trekgeezer]

How do you stop a herd of charging elephants?

Take away their credit cards.



What do you get when you cross and elephant with a rhinoceros?

An elephino!

[Derf]

What do you get when you cross and elephant with a rhinoceros?

An elephino!

But that's irrhelephant!


What's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white?

A nun rolling down a hill.

[darthchicken]

Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 1

[Patient7]

Trevor wins my joke identification contest!  He shall recieve one karma point as soon as I feel like it which was about 30 seconds ago.

[ER]

(Aw, indy, you're unfireable!)

Okay, old joke told me by my dear fourth grade teacher.

One day a man from the big city was driving his car through the country, got lost, and found himself on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere. As he was traveling along, trying to figure out how to get back to some sign of civilization, the man was suddenly stopped by an immense pothole in the center of the dirt road. This hole was easily twice the length of his car, a veritable crater. To make things worse, the pothole was full of water.

Seeing an old farmer sitting on his front porch, the man called over, "Pardon me, sir, can I drive through this pothole, or is it too deep?"

"Naw," the old farmer shouted back, "drive on. Ain't too deep."

So the man from the big city stepped on the gas pedal, entered the pothole, and BOOM next thing he knew he was sinking into the murky unknown, with water pouring in through his open window. He barely escaped with his life!

Crawling up out of the chasm, dripping wet, breathless, the man from the city looked up at the farmer and said, "Hey! I thought you told me that hole was safe to drive across!"

The farmer scratched his head in puzzlement and replied, "I thought it would be, since yesterday it was only waist-deep on that flock of ducks I seen swimming across it..."

(Hehe! Say it with me, everyone: groooan!)

[indianasmith]

EMMR, that's BBBAAADDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Karma to all again!

[RCMerchant]

ok...I have to tell this one! My 15 year old told me this morning...

What's worse than a baby in a trash can?   

A baby in five trash cans.     

[indianasmith]

What's worse than walking through a field of dead babies?

Getting your toe hung in an eye socket!