You're in charge of Hollywood, what're the next five blockbuster remakes?

[AndyC]

Plan 9 from Outer Space would actually work pretty well in today's market. Use modern effects for the spaceships, have armies of the undead rising from the grave and running amok in various states of decomposition, and accompany the 'solaranite' speech with a visual simulation of the device in action. Could be a very cool movie.

[RCMerchant]

I think maybe I'd start by catering to the Direct to Video crowd, with all the cardboard sets, bad CGI, cheesy midi muzak, and good looking women who can't act.

My first five remakes would be five different versions of The Most Dangerous Game.

The first version would be a pretentiously faithful adaptation of Richard Connell's original short story, sticking way too close to the source material, with lots of long drawn out scenes of Rainsford & Zaroff wondering around in a poorly textured CGI jungle.

The second version would be a modernized, more socially relevant retelling of the story. I'd make it a sort of road movie, about a flaky jerk who's trying to get his two boneheaded kids from a lower class suburb in New Jersey to their grandma's in Boston.

The third version would be set in the future, in outer space. This time, I'd make the protagonist a woman.. who looks good in a bikini... who's just escaped from prison... with a friend, who also looks good in a bikini, and they crash on a planet, where they encounter Zaroff and another castaway, who also looks good in a bikini... and Zaroff would be chasing them around in their bikinis, and they find a stash of really, really huge guns... and The Cramps would write a song about it!

The fourth version would be set in the desert, in a post apocalyptic future, in which Zaroff would be some sort of warlord, and Rainsford would have a really cool car.

Finally, the fifth version would be a slob humored, gross out comedy musical in which Zaroff would be a cannibal, and it would have lots of homophobic humor, as well as numerous references to previous versions of the same movie.

GIVE THIS MAN A CAMERA!!!! 

[HappyGilmore]

Frankenstein- Always liked it, myself.  Every other classic Universal monster seems to be remade, yet this isn't touched.

Gil, what about Mary Shelley's Frankenstein with Bobby De Niro as the monster and Kenneth Branagh as the delirious doctor (and director)? Shifting into SAT analogy mode, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein was to embryonic fluid as Dead Alive was to gore: excessive and extremely icky.

Well, I think Happy and I meant recreating JAMES WHALE's 1931 version, y'know, same story, same makeup... (as I'm sure you know it's far from MARY SHELLEY.)

Oh, sorry guys, took it too literally. When Happy said that the other Universal Monsters had been remade, I immediately thought about the source material rather than the movies themselves. Speaking of which though, has there been a Creature From the Black Lagoon remake? I kinda want to say that I'd like to see that remade too, except that the costume for the monster is just so eternally cool that I figure I'd be disappointed with whatever else they could come up with. 

And Happy, check out the Nosferatu remake if you get a chance. It doesn't get the best feedback from critics, but it's got this certain surreal German bizarreness to it and Kinski's performance feels especially dirty and diseased.

Creature isn't completed yet, but apparently the script is good to go.  There was a delay because of the writers strike, and the remake of The Crazies is taking a high priority.  Once that's done filming they're looking to do the Creature remake for a possible summer release of next year.

[darthchicken]

Plan 9 from Outer Space would actually work pretty well in today's market. Use modern effects for the spaceships, have armies of the undead rising from the grave and running amok in various states of decomposition, and accompany the 'solaranite' speech with a visual simulation of the device in action. Could be a very cool movie.

I agree with that, Plan 9 would be a fun remake to watch.

Also, I think a remake of Escape From New York would be pretty sweet. They're already doing The Warriors, which sounds cool, except they're using actual gangs, instead of cool ones like The Baseball Furies. Also, a remake of 20 Million Miles to Earth would be sweet.

[Kester Pelagius]

A musical version of Deep Throat?  Now that's entertainment!

Nosferatu's been done, twice if you include SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE.  Fright Night might be interesting but it's entire charm was in the fact it was a homage movie.  I think a lot of the subtext would be lost on contemporary audiences which means a major re-envisioning would have to be done to make it relevent to modern audiences, especially to the character of "Peter Vincent".  However, speaking of vampire movies, a remake of Twins of Evil..



Yes starring the Olsen twins.  It would be the first entry in a
re-envisioned Karnstein trilogy.  (If that link doesn't work I've re-posted the article to my new blog here.)

[Dr. Whom]

Speaking of which though, has there been a Creature From the Black Lagoon remake? I kinda want to say that I'd like to see that remade too, except that the costume for the monster is just so eternally cool that I figure I'd be disappointed with whatever else they could come up with. 

It is in the works

http://www.darkhorizons.com/news08/080504a.php

[lester1/2jr]

Bloody Pit of Horror remake starring Jim carrey as the Crimson Executioner

[DistantJ]

+Karma for a great idea for a topic.

Five movies I'd pick for the next 5 remakes.....

Friday the 13th, so that Jason could join Leatherface and Mikey Myers in the slasher remakes. However, while I'd give the movie the title of Friday the 13th, I'd go for a reimagined Jason story which uses the original Friday the 13th as backstory, as opposed to retelling the Pamela story.

Dracula, as I often say, still needs a movie to truly live up to his original story. Francis Ford Coppola created some great visuals with his movie but turned it into a sappy romance for some reason, and the previous Dracula movies have become very dated. I don't even want to mention Dracula 2000 and it's sequel... Judas Escariot? Bollocks! It'd be nice to see a Dracula movie which is able to create the atmosphere from the book and tell the story in a reasonably loyal way.

Hellraiser is, in my opinion, a very, very flawed movie, with a really good theme behind it. This is why I would love to see a remake, which would do everything right, rather than more straight-to-video sequels.

Suspiria is another movie I'd like to see remade, but I'd be very picky about how it was done. The colourful look would have to be recreated perfectly and the Goblin musical theme would have to be recreated, too. With some modern effects and acting done in the first take, with no dubbing or unnatural dialogue, and a slightly better strucutred story, it could be brilliant.

The Guyver stars a superhero with a really amazing backstory who is also famous for the gratuitous gore featured in the animation it is based on. The movie (known as Mutronics in Europe) is a really fun Power Ranger-esque cheese-fest and it's sequel is a testiment to just how good B-Movies can be, but a modern day, decent budget Guyver with a thoughtful script and more of the original story adapted, retaining the original gore level, could be just spectacular.

[asimpson2006]

Here are mine (May be less than four):

Lawnmower Man: With current technology the VR scenes and some of the death scenes could be visually stunning.

Clash of the Titans - If done right, it would be amazing to see.

Soylent Green - I really don't know why I think this, I just think it would be good.

[LilCerberus]

I've always envisioned a big budget remake of The Complete Truth About De-Evolution

With Patric Stewart as General Boy
Jimmy Fallon as Boojie Boy
James Gandolfini as Daddy Knowitall
Dr. Phil McGraw as Rod Rooter
And I think it would be strangely fitting to cast Brittany Spears or Paris Hilton as Donut Rooter
and whoever the heck the silicon queen du jour is for Spazz Attack

With
Phil Collins as Mark
Ringo Starr as Alan
Les Claypoole as Jerry
Joe Walsh as Bob 1
George Thorogood as Bob 2

and they'd do a cover of Iron Man

[Kester Pelagius]

A Hellraiser remake is apparently in the works.  Fan reaction seems mixed.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0887261/

http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/news/saw-director-cutting-into-hellraiser-franchise


A Clash of the Titans re-make was also announced but, last I checked, there was hardly any news out there about the project.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0800320/

http://kester-pelagius.u.yuku.com/blog/post/id/741/t/CLASH-OF-THE-TITANS-.html  (Great mock-up poster, ain't it?  )

There was also talk of a Conan and Red Sonja remake, but those seem to have fallen through, as did the John Carter of Mars movie.

[Killer Bees]

In no particular order (with mild spoilerage):

1.  Independence Day 2:  I'd like to see how they rebuilt everything and what the technology from the alien ships would do to our society.

2.  Gozilla 2:  What happened to the baby left at the end of the first one?  And can we make Godzilla actually look like Gozilla this time?

3.  Tron 2:  I enjoyed the first one, but with all the CGI out now, it could be something completely awesome.

4.  The Hulk 2.  And for God's sake - SOME PLEASE KEEP ANG LEE THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS ONE!!!!!!

5.  Ultraviolet.  It was complete s**te and needs a complete makeover, script, CGI, everything.

[AndyC]

1.  Independence Day 2:  I'd like to see how they rebuilt everything and what the technology from the alien ships would do to our society.

When I saw Independence Day the first time, I remember wondering if somebody would get rich off the salvage rights to all that scrap metal.

Technologically, I was pretty certain Apple would dominate the future, since Macs are compatible with alien technology.

[HarlotBug3]

A Hellraiser remake is apparently in the works.  Fan reaction seems mixed.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0887261/

http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/news/saw-director-cutting-into-hellraiser-franchise


A Clash of the Titans re-make was also announced but, last I checked, there was hardly any news out there about the project.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0800320/

http://kester-pelagius.u.yuku.com/blog/post/id/741/t/CLASH-OF-THE-TITANS-.html  (Great mock-up poster, ain't it?  )

There was also talk of a Conan and Red Sonja remake, but those seem to have fallen through, as did the John Carter of Mars movie.

Damn, I was hoping I would be the one to give Hellraiser the sequel it deserves, so much potential wasted. Technically I'd want to remake Hellraiser II, as the idea of hell as something separate from the typical afterlife versions fascinates me.

Clash of the Titans will be either great or an unforgivable affront, but I'm hopefull. On a recent revisit I realized that the acting/dialogue was hammy at best, so there's no need to worry about 'ruining' anything there.

Much the same with either of the Governator Barbarian movies.

Great Topic Btw.

5= Idiocracy will be remade as a documentary rather than a comedy and will receive 10x the promotion of any global warming piece.
4= Star Wars will be remade with a 8mm projector of the Robot Chicken and Family Guy specials using GL's ass as a screen as it is raped by a variety of toy lightsabers. Either that or have him remake the Mark Hamel ones from the bottom up. I'd put it to a national vote.
3= Alan Moore will get full creative control over a remake. He can take his pick from his own material or that of any other.
2= Q The Winged Serpent will make the big G and Cloverfield look like Reptilicus.
1= Them will make 8 Legged Freaks look like...8 Legged Freaks.

[Kester Pelagius]

Damn, I was hoping I would be the one to give Hellraiser the sequel it deserves, so much potential wasted. Technically I'd want to remake Hellraiser II, as the idea of hell as something separate from the typical afterlife versions fascinates me.

I don't think it was really supposed to be Hell, per se, but rather a labyrinthian limbo or an otherdimensional purgatory.  OTOH wasn't mentioned made of it being ruled over by Leviathan?  That would make it an abyss.  Hmmm.

Okay.  Now I have find time to re-watch the movie.

Clash of the Titans will be either great or an unforgivable affront, but I'm hopefull.

Ditto.

As for Conan.  They need to just start from scratch.  I don't care what they do so long as they A) Don't dumb it down by pandering to the PG-13 crowd; B) Choose to either do a faithful adaptations of either the novels or, failing that, Savage Sword.  Plenty of source material for a franchise to work with there.

5= Idiocracy will be remade as a documentary rather than a comedy and will receive 10x the promotion of any global warming piece.

Having only recently seen this in the last year I have to admit I felt it would have been a much better movie if, instead of doing this as a silly dumbed down comedy, they made it a either the a gritty, intelligent, no punches pulled dramady that the movie wanted to be.  Either that or an in-your-face, politically incorrect, spoof of the genre.   With lots of nudity.