Jail

[RCMerchant]

Monday night I go to jail for 60 days.

About three years ago me and Tara's son got into it...he and I were drinking and he went apes**t and punched my ass out. A court order was put on the household ...no booze. I violated that order. So starting Monday....I do 60 in county. With goodtime It may end up being about 45 or 50.

They're giving me work release from 7:00 to 6;00.,so I will still be able to support my family.

I went to court today....thats why I'm home now....I just got back.
I don't like jail. I went in 1985 for  45 days, a second offense DUI.....which is when I decided not to drive anymore.
That may sound stupid..."Just quit drinking! Go to AA!"
Been there.AA is depressing...makes me wanna drink. My family has a long history of mental illness and alcholism.
Some take pockets full of pills. I can't.I have hepatitus. They would kill me faster then booze. I dunno. I guess 60 will get me on the wagon wether I like it or not,eh?

Ever been to jail? Food sucks.

[Ash]

That sucks dude!

How did they find out you violated the no booze order?

I've been to jail but only overnight and that was years ago.
I ate breakfast in the drunk tank and it was awful.

Hopefully they'll let you out on good behavior.

To quote Lawrence from the movie Office Space, "Watch out for your cornhole, Bud."

[ulthar]

Man, that BITES.

Ronnie, you will be missed here while you are gone.  Take care and every day, try to find some dumb little story to tell us.

I cannot believe you are going to jail for 60 days for drinking in your own home (assumption on my part), but that discussion is for another day.  Suffice it to say stuff like this does not help my present cynicism with the US.

[RCMerchant]

I had been drinking a few weeks ago,and a social worker stopped over and smelt (no...not the tiny tasty fish) booze on my breath. I guess the half empty bottle of whiskey sitting on the end table didn't  help my case either.

I ain't worried about getting butt plugged. I'm old and ugly...and an ornry little bastred when I have to be. This is county jail...not Jackson. I been to jail before....it's boring and I sleep alot.

[Menard]

I've never been to jail myself...

(okay, people, no need for the shocked looks)


My brother-in-law used to be a regular resident of the county lock-up; not for being a trouble-maker, as he is not, but he truly got hornswaggled in child support. He had a much better paying job, but he doesn't now, yet the child support is the same and takes 80% of his income or better, even though the mother gets a check from the system regardless of him paying or not.


It's a tough road, IMO, on kids. It just struck me as unfortunate to take my niece to see her father, actually step-father, and talk to him on a phone through glass. The people working at jails treat family no better than inmates; of course, these are the same people who are working in jails because they don't have the qualifications to be a cop.

It's even tougher on her, I feel, as her biological father is in prison and her only contact is through the letters he writes.


Thankfully you did get work release. Of course, it lets you support your family, but it also gets you away from jail for a good bit of the day.

Unfortunately the county I live in is quite corrupt, and inbred, and they really put the screws to my brother-in-law and family; costing him his job and effectively extorting the equivalent of a ransom that cost my sister thousands to get him out and under house arrest, wearing an ankle device.


I would tell you to give your fellow inmates that child scaring smile of yours....er...but they might like it.

If anyone gives you any trouble, aside from giving them Ash's phone number , always remember that not only are a man's testicles the way to his heart, but they are also the way to putting him on the ground.

If you can get online during work, let us know how you are doing.

[Raffine]

Rotten new, buddy. Be good and you'll out before ya know it! 

Like you said, at least it's a rural county jail and not the big city lockup. Our little county jail even has a nice picture window in front, which only occasionally has been smashed by someone not wanting to stay their full term. Usually when that happens they just go home and get picked up sitting on their front porch.

I've never been an overnight guest of the county/city myself, but when I lived in the Music City I'd sometimes get a call to come down to the jail to pick up and/or bail out a friend or two. Night Court in Nashville at two or three in the morning can be a really interesting place to visit.

[Patient7]

Sucks man, you'll probably get out on good behavior though.  Don't drop the soap.

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

Good luck man.  I've never been in jail, and I'd prefer no too, I'm too pretty!

I did a couple weeks as an experimental subject, exisiting in a dormatory with 50 other people, not allowed to do much except pee in a bottle ad have blood drawn.    But I was there voluntarily.  And got quite a lot of money out of it.  So I can't really compare
-Ed

[trekgeezer]

 I've never been sentenced but a friend I worked with many years ago was revolving regular at the state pen (one time for breaking into the courthouse.

He would always show up at the grocery warehouse where we worked saying he was getting in shape to go back.


Stay safe in there RC !

[AnubisVonMojo]

Damn RC, that's friggin' harsh. I don't blame you for disliking AA. The few people I know who went through with it all came out as self-righteous a-holes. They stayed sober, but nobody wanted to have anything to do with 'em afterwards. I never agreed with their "accept a higher power" concept myself.

I didn't know courts could force people to keep their homes dry, especially after only one fracas. I'm surprised no one in my mom's family ever had something like that levied against them.

We'll send you a Cookie-Puss cake with a file in it... or a shiv if you'd prefer.

[indianasmith]

Sorry to hear that, RC.   I've been fortunate to stay on the right side of the law - got arrested for trespassing one time and cleared it up with a single phone call to the property owner (I actually HAD permission to go in there, but the new caretaker did not know me).  But if it does help you kick the habit, maybe it will be worth it.  Take care of yourself.

[AndyC]

I didn't know courts could force people to keep their homes dry, especially after only one fracas. I'm surprised no one in my mom's family ever had something like that levied against them.

I'm not as familiar with the legal system in the US, but I do spend a fair bit of time sitting in court. Any probation order I've ever seen included a ban on consuming any alcohol or non-prescription drugs. I've seen quite a few guys come in with breach of probation on top of drunk driving, assault or whatever. I just feel sorry for some of them. For every actual criminal who comes through, there's a bunch of people who just make bad choices.

Your story is a familiar one, RC. Glad they're letting you go to work. Do your time, and we'll see you back here. 

[CheezeFlixz]

Well I haven't done any jail time since I was in the military, it was a hobby of law enforcement to toss some drunken jarhead in the slammer for a night or two. Myrtle Beach use to be really bad about this, every week I was in the states I went to Myrtle Beach SC for the weekend from Onslow Beach NC ... lots of girls at Myrtle Beach, not many at Onslow as it was a Marine Base. So I go and half the time I'd get tossed in jail for something stupid, I'd bail out most of the time after a hour or so and never show for court, forfeiting my bail as a fine. You know it was a racket since the bail was often less than $50. But that's been well over 20 years ago ... it was a different world then.
I did get charged for having a DEADLY WEAPON once when I was in the Marines, it was a broom handle I used to hold my hatch back up since the lifts were broke. Oh those were the days ...

Good luck convict.  Remember cigarettes are the best form of money in jail. Good thing you are getting work release, at least you get a little time out of the big house.

[RCMerchant]

They don't allow us to smoke in Van Buern County. THATS a REAL bummer! I do draw....which is a plus in jail. Artists in jail . People always want you to draw stupid things like Reapers and skeletons.Unicorns and roses are big too....they like to have them drawn on their mail envolopes to send to their wives or girlfreinds.

I'll lose some weight though. Van Buern County is notorious for its lousy cuisine. Dry baloney sandwhiches,cold waffles.Breaded mystery meat."Chiken fried steak" they call it.BS. It's not steak . It's some kinda tasteless soy meat product....kinda like the crap you get outta vendening machines in those phoney 'pork chop' sandwhiches.Blek.

[Allhallowsday]

Wow, Bela, I am bummed to hear that.  Personally, I don't care for the smartass jokes; they're like saying "hot enough for ya?"  But I'm not frightened for you ('cause yer right, yer an ugly little bastard  ) but truly disappointed you won't be around and it's without a doubt a drag. 

And what we learn about this lesson is to methodically secret the bottle away always, and don't go to the door (let somebody else, or let the visitor let themselves in, or how 'bout just go the f*ck away...)

I will miss you, but will see you soon.  I know you'll be fine.  (By the time you're back you'll have cracked 500 )
We'll be thinking of you.