Worst movies seen in a theater.

[Professor MittenSpider]

Dedicated to the horrible movies you paid FULL price to see.  I wasn't alive before the VHS era so I didn't have the opportunity to see some of the filth available to some. 

Anyway, I was kind of obsessed with martial arts films as a boy.  Probably due to too many Samurai Sundays here in Chicago.  So, it will explain some of mine.

Here are some of the movies I saw in the theater in no particular order:

Sudden Death
Time Cop
Double Dragon
Hitman(Chuck Norris)
Sidekicks
FearDotCom
Howard the Duck
Garbage Pail Kids
Batteries not included
Pulse
Anaconda
Godzilla
Super Mario Brothers

Among these should be a bunch of video game movies.  A friend of mine always thinks they'll be good, but I have yet to see one.

[Menard]

Movies from the 80s, as I have not ventured into a theatre much after that.


The Man Who Wasn't There in 3D (God awful and boring. I dozed off several times during the movie)

Horror Hospital (How do you make a topless examination of Barbie Benton dull? This movie has the answer)

Amityville Horror 2 (Don't know which was out of place more: the timeline of the film, or this damn movie being on a screen)

Jekyll and Hyde Together Again (There are some funny moments, but they are ruined by the rest of the movie)

The Last American Virgin (I was the only one in the theatre. It actually gets good reviews, but I was expecting a comedy, not this. I developed a hatred for Boaz Davidson; he was also responsible for the aforementioned Horror Hospital)

H.O.T.S. (This is what happens when Cheri Caffaro tries to write)



I'll leave it at that.

[indianasmith]

For me, it was SPAWN.  I didn't really know what to expect, being unfamiliar with the comic, and found the whole movie offensive.

[ghouck]

A long time ago, my father took us to see "Chariots of Fire" in the theater. I remember sleeping so soundly that I had drool all down my shirt. The parts I was awake for was the most boring bunch of crap I've ever endured. I still can not fathom how it could possibly have won ANY award, let alone FOUR of them.

Nobody in the group liked it, , and there was a running joke until my father died regarding the fact that the only one that was spared of this mess was my step-sister, who wasn't allowed to go to the movies, because SHE WAS BEING PUNISHED.

[indianasmith]

It is a slow-moving story, to be sure.  I liked it because I had read about Eric Lidell and knew a little bit about him.  But yes, other than the running scenes, its pace was glacial. 



Cool theme music, though.

[Ash]

For me it would have to be The Last Emperor.
My dad and stepmom dragged me to it when it came out back in 1987.
This movie was sheer pain for a 13 year old kid to sit through.

It's funny...now that I've seen it as an adult, I think it's a great movie.   

[akiratubo]

Hulk.

This is the only movie I've been to where people actually walked out.  An older guy with a Hulk T-shirt and his lady-friend left, and a family in front of me left after the boy shouted "THIS IS BORING!"  (The Dad said, "I agree.")

When it finally ended, I noticed that the other people left were looking ... numb.  Just like me.  I think we had sort of turned ourselves off to survive it.

Ugh, I'm about to cry just thinking about it.

[frank]

I used to go to the movie theater with a couple of fellow students back in the 90s. On a weekly basis we went to the sneak preview movies, paying a bit less for a recent movie without knowing what exactly it will be. After watching "The borrowers" one week and "Knock off" the following week we decided to put this tradition to an end...

[BeyondTheGrave]

I would go with Godzillia (American) and Elektra. People where just walking out of Godzilia and no one was even in Elektra. I would also put Tomb Raider 2 but I don't remember any of it. Think I just blacked it out.

[quabrot]

When I worked at a movie theater, I saw a lot of stuff for free, so I didn't really care.  but Christmas with the Kranks was just atrocious.  Not only was it a morally despicable movie, but it was a plain unfunny comedy film and a waste of a talented cast.

[Derf]

Back around '89-'90, I went to a matinee where I was the only one in the theater. I have tried to recall what the movie was, but apparently it was so bad that I've blocked it from my memory. All I remember is that it featured a small-time actor who looked like Rich Hall. I figured out who he was once and checked IMDB, but I've blocked the movie so thoroughly that I still couldn't figure out what it was. And I've seen Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Xanadu, Alien from LA, and Godzilla (American), all on the big screen, so you can imagine how bad this one was.

[Eric45]

Lake Dead.  As Bart Simpson would say, the only thing interesting about it was that it managed to both suck and blow.

[ghouck]

Cool theme music, though.

It's been abused in SO many movies since then, I would bet they made more in royalties from pimping out that song than they did for the movie itself. I loved how they used it in National Lampoon's Vacation.

[The Burgomaster]

DUNE.  My ass was killing me and I had a headache by the time it was over.

[peter johnson]

Really gawdawful films I paid full price to see on the big screen:

Howard the Duck

The Vallachi Papers

Panic In the Year 3000 (Nobody else, apparently, has ever seen this film.  From New Zealand.  Featuring Olivia Hussey.  A "Most Dangerous Game" knock-off.  Really terrible.)

Phantom of The Opera (The Freddy Englund version.  WTF??)

Hysterical (See Andrew's recent review)

Beer (A comedy with no laughs at all.  AT ALL!!)

All the color Elvis movies (I grew up in a very small town)

I'm sure there are others, but this is all I can think of right now --

peter johnson/denny crane