THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM BAD MOVIES.

[CheezeFlixz]

In homage to Andrew's reviews and his "THINGS I LEARNED FROM THIS MOVIE" section and for those of us too tired, too lazy, or too short on time to write a full review. I thought (therefore I am) a thread highlighting things we learned from movies we've seen.

Things I learned from ...
DEATH CURSE OF TARTU

1. Great White Sharks a native to the Everglades.
2. Emptying the gun powder of 3 rifle rounds into a little pile can cause a huge explosion.
3. I torn piece of shirt make a great fuse.
4. Indians need not be Indian.
5. Rubber spiders can kill.

[Dr. Whom]

Things I've learned from Azumi

Beware of small Japanese girls bearing swords
Japanese have high blood pressure (I'd say about 60 psi)
Elite assassins in classical Japan had a dodgy dress sense
Japanese warlords had a high turnover of henchmen

[Mouseboy]

Things I learned:
If you want something done right you have to do it while yelling.

[Jack]

Copperhead - Sci-Fi original I saw last night:

1)  Gatling guns can fire close to 60 rounds per minute (minus reloading time)
2)  You can stick big metal spikes in the barrels of a Gatling gun and it will fire them just fine
3)  Most hardware stores in the old West had many of these spikes on hand
4)  Snakes can climb up the sides of buildings
5)  If snakes are invading your town, they will all come right down the main street
6)  Bank vaults are not bullet proof
7)  A single bullet hole is enough to provide breathable air for a dozen people in a bank vault for 24 hours
8)  Snakes are herd animals
9)  Snake venom is instantly fatal
10)  If you're the main bad guy and you're making your big speech about how you're going to kill everyone, and all your intended victims keep nervously looking behind you and shuffling away...um, might wanna look over your shoulder.

[BoyScoutKevin]

Things I've learned from bad movies. It's tough to be a virgin . . .

The Beastmaster
Lair of the White Worm
The Story of Ruth
The War Lord
Wicker Man (1973)

. . . but someone has to do it.

[KYGOTC]

Things I've learned from bad movies. It's tough to be a virgin . . .

The Beastmaster
Lair of the White Worm
The Story of Ruth
The War Lord
Wicker Man (1973)

. . . but someone has to do it.

Its also tough to be a non-virgin.
I dont think Ive seen a b-slasher that didnt have a scene where some shmuck gets her/his organs poked with some cold, sharp steel after or durring a a romp in the sheets.

[Patient7]

The Feeding.

A black guy can still die in the climactic scene where nobody else is supposed to die.

There's a type of werewolf that can change at will.

If a black guy dies all he will say is "damn."

[hellbilly]

Things I've learned from Demon Of Paradise (1987)

-- Philippines residents can easily pass as Hawaiians
-- It's ok to swim in muddy brown water
-- Amphibian sea creatures are good for pulling boats at high speed

[The Dungeonmaster]

From bad movies I learned: No matter what's going wrong in life, a case of beer, some good company and a b-flick will always make life worth living! Nothing makes me happier than sitting in the dark with a luminous flicker of gore, cheeze and sleaze!

Yeah yeah... I know that wasn't the fun format I was supposed to do but what I said is all that matters to me.

[CheezeFlixz]

10,000 BC (2008)

1. Mastodons helped build the pyramids.
2. The plains, mountains, jungle and desert are all within a short walk of one another.
3. They had sailing ships 12,000 years ago.
4. Corn and Chili peppers grew in Mesopotamia.
5. Mew road horses 12,000 yeas ago.
6. There was no hypothermia or heat stroke in ancient times.
7. Terror birds lived in Asia. (they lived in South America)
8. Metal working is much older than I thought.

[CheezeFlixz]

KONGA

1. Chimpanzees turn into gorillas with chemical injections.
2. Old male teachers have long been after young female students.
3. Scale model cities need not be to scale.
4. Gorillas have very white, human looking eyes with pinkish flesh around them.
5. Small pocket radios, insight dancing.
6. There is aways a shelter nearby.
7. In college you learn roots on plants help them absorb water and nutrients.
8. Morphing only requires a wavy blurr. 

[Saucerman]

From "Manos," The Hand of Fate, I learned:

There are worse ways to spend 68 minutes than by hammering nails through my fingers. 

[Dr. Whom]

Things I've learned from Yoyo Girl Cop

The yoyo is mightier than the katana

[akiratubo]

THINGS I LEARNED FROM THIS MOVIE

Dunyayi Kurtaran Adam
My standards for enjoying a movie are very, very low.

[Jack]

Moonbase:

1)  In the future, prisons will be constructed on space stations orbiting the planet.  I could - maybe - buy this if the prisons were impossible to escape from, but then of course the movie goes and demonstrates that they're pitifully easy to escape from.
2)  These prisons will be constructed from concrete blocks
3)  There will be garbage dumps on the moon.
4)  Bobcats - you know, those little front end loaders - work just fine on the moon.
5)  Having four guys shoot at you from ten feet away really doesn't pose that much of a threat to your life.
6)  Stick a couple of air tanks on a plastic hazmat suit, and you've got a fully functional space suit.
7)  A stereo amplifier, with little or no modification, can be used to boost the power of radio transmissions.
8)  In the future, home theater systems will come with some REALLY cool features.
9)  Magnetism is visible - it looks like lightning bolts
10)  The military will store their most powerful nuclear weapons - totally unguarded - in lunar garbage dumps.