Bad Poetry

[Mofo Rising]

So as part of an English 102 course from a few years ago I had to write several examples of poetry. I used to write a lot of this junk in years past. What amused me is that the English teacher wanted us to write examples of several forms of poetry, including the sonnet. I don't know if you've ever tried to write a sonnet, but it is one of the most difficult forms to write for, at least if you want to do it well.

Well, I wrote one, and it is doggerel. I'm a bit proud of it however, since it seems to cover a broad spectrum, but properly understood it has only one, very specific reading. I'm going to share it with you. If you get the reading, well congratulations. The title might give it away. If you do get it, give it away in a response.

Anyway, my one stab at a sonnet:

Pointless to resist, my son.
by R. Steele

Long did I live on arid plains,
Toil, did I, in swamps dark and old,
Struggled have I under great pains
And traveled in spaces wide and cold.
To the house of my father, I now go.
Heavy this matter we must discourse,
This dread outcome impossible to know.
Strong is my father, much given to force.
I shall bring myself to that place of death.
Why, Father, dost thou hide thy face?
Why with such ragged, labored breath
This baneful heritage you ask me to embrace?
Born out beneath that emperor's crown,
By my hand, I will not strike you down.

[dean]

That's a rather poignant and sad tale of a boy's love for his father in a tale old as time itself!

Hehe.   

The poetry is strong in this one...

[indianasmith]

I am your father!

[Trevor]

So as part of an English 102 course from a few years ago I had to write several examples of poetry. I used to write a lot of this junk in years past. What amused me is that the English teacher wanted us to write examples of several forms of poetry, including the sonnet. I don't know if you've ever tried to write a sonnet, but it is one of the most difficult forms to write for, at least if you want to do it well.

Well, I wrote one, and it is doggerel. I'm a bit proud of it however, since it seems to cover a broad spectrum, but properly understood it has only one, very specific reading. I'm going to share it with you. If you get the reading, well congratulations. The title might give it away. If you do get it, give it away in a response.

Anyway, my one stab at a sonnet:

Pointless to resist, my son.
by R. Steele

Long did I live on arid plains,
Toil, did I, in swamps dark and old,
Struggled have I under great pains
And traveled in spaces wide and cold.
To the house of my father, I now go.
Heavy this matter we must discourse,
This dread outcome impossible to know.
Strong is my father, much given to force.
I shall bring myself to that place of death.
Why, Father, dost thou hide thy face?
Why with such ragged, labored breath
This baneful heritage you ask me to embrace?
Born out beneath that emperor's crown,
By my hand, I will not strike you down.

Mofo, that's not "bad poetry", that's good stuff. 

The penny's just dropped for me: that is a Star Wars sonnet. Great! 

[Derf]

I am your father!

Um, who's your daddy? 

Not bad, Mofo Rising. I picked up on it pretty quickly, though I wondered a bit about the Yoda-esque speech patterns. I wrote a few sonnets years ago, one or two of which turned out decent, but my only Star Wars poem (aside from the haiku I wrote in the aptly named section on this board) was pure, unadulterated doggerel. I'd share it, but it included an inside joke that would make absolutely no sense to the people on this board. Plus I'm not sure where it is.

[Sister Grace]

I've written quite a bit of poetry over the years, in fact one made my mom send me to counseling haha. anyways, i never could master the sonnet...I admire the fact that you were able to achieve it. I enjoyed your work and appreciate you sharing it

[Trevor]

I am your father!

Um, who's your daddy? 

[Patient7]

It's better than some other crap I'm forced to read.  I didn't even notice that Star Wars part of it till Trevor said it.

[Rev. Powell]

Great job!  Now do one for FASTER p***yCAT, KILL! KILL!

Sorry, already karma'd you today.  I owe you one.

[Mofo Rising]

Not bad, Mofo Rising. I picked up on it pretty quickly, though I wondered a bit about the Yoda-esque speech patterns.

Yeah, we call that not knowing how work with a rigidified rhyme and rhythm scheme. I tried very hard to get the "baDUMP badDUMP badDUMP baDUMP baDUMP" and did not succeed.

Thanks to everybody who liked it. I'm not claiming self-modesty or anything, the poem was just so clearly a goof. I did get a kick out of turning it into my teacher at the time. I posted it with a weird H.R. Giger-esque picture I found in a local Spanish newspaper, really playing up the infernal angle. It made me laugh to make somebody think I was writing a pseudo-Satanic poem only to be a poem about Star Wars.

[the master]

any poetry writtin by emo kids sucks

[Patient7]

any poetry writtin by emo kids sucks

So all poetry written by a person's own free will sucks?