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Article: Do you have a zombie plan? (Pt 1)

Started by Andrew, June 17, 2008, 05:54:44 PM

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Joel Mitchell

Keep In Mind.....


2.Don't use chainsaws, that will basically be ringing a dinner bell for the zombies.

3. If you have the time and cover, take your car (if your'e fortunate to own one) and weld or mount any piece of sharp metal to the cars.


* If you deicided to play the hero and attempt to lure a zombie hoard away from your companions hiding pace, make sure that any stragglers don't follow you back.
* if you are hiding in a place that is devoid of power, use a minimum amount of light to avoid detection.
* Find resonably safe place away from any large town or cities.


I am in the Army. Believe it or not during one of my deployments to Central Afghanistan my friends and I came up with a list of must haves to survive an outbreak. It was hard to come up with weapons that are available to the public (so that was a limiting factor). But here it goes: 1) Shotgun w/00 buckshot 2) AK-47 or AR-15 2) AX 3) Chainsaw, Axe and baseball bat 4) Peterbuilt Wrecker or HUMMER 5) Browning Hi-Power (or a handgun that can hold at 15 rounds per magazine 6) 4-5 BBQ Propane tanks 7) Safehouse at least one mile from a major road.

There is a ton of other logistics but, that should get you out of the worst of it.


This is good for a laugh and all, but if people actually follow this plan of yours alot of them are going to end up undead.Check out the book "The Zombie Survival Guide" by Max Brooks if you actually want a chance at surviving.
It has plenty of helpful tips like the one below:

Hunting Rifles are the best guns the average civilian should use.A rifle's single shot capability forces the user to make each round count, increasing the chance of a hit.This feature also eliminates even the possibility of "rock 'n' rolling"and therefore preserving ammunition whether the user intends to or not.It also uses the most common ammo an average civilian can come across.


That is a good plan, but if films have taugt us anything its that there's usually more zombies than living people so whats really the point. My plan is to leave a goodbye message on my camera phone, make my peace with god and take a bunch of seeping pills then hope that I've take enough so as not to wake up in about an hour and see my intestines being pulled out and share amongst a welcoming party of undead cannibals.


I recommend that as soon as you get into your big ol' 4x4, you start heading for the south. Why? The farther south you go, the more people who own guns (shotguns in particular).  Unless of course the zombies are aware of themselves and know how to use guns.


You know, something the movies never really address . . . do zombies continue to decompose in their resurrected state?  If so, the Zombie invasion would not last through one full Texas summer . . .  a roadkill dog skeletonizes in about one month down here!

Just gotta make it through that month . . . .
"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"


 about the gun and goverment experimental labs, I live 1 mile north of Parris Island Marine Corp Recruitment Center(Marine Corp Boot Camp) and about 2 or 3 miles south of Beaufort Marine Corp Air Station. If the Zombie Holocaust happens one these 2 places is Ideal to wait it out for the Zombies to rot away
Where's Glen(Amazing Collosal Man, MST3K version)


England is not a groovy place to be if a zombie outbreak happens. Farmers and rich country ponces would be the only people with shot guns, though some street thugs will probably have some hand guns.
You could join a gang and go through a meaningless initiation process which will probably be raping some poor defenseless woman. But at least you'll have a hand gun, that's better than no gun.

I have a chainsaw which i bought from the garden center i worked at 2 years ago.

If possible i'd like to get a female and male zombie in a room together and play them porn movies over and over, maybe they'll mate.


A. Taylor

Motorcycle, preferably a dirtbike, would do it. It can be rigged up to hold guns and ammo. A bike can out run a zombie and can ride through the woods and around the trees etc. that will be in the road after the initial blast. Yeah, a good dirt bike and lots of ammo (with gun of course) should do it. Remember shoot first ask questions later if someone starts to approach, you don't want someone trying to steal the bike.  If you run out of gas you find a vehicle that is empty on the side of the road, one that doesn't have a zombie in it. Works for me.


I'll plant a lot of carnivorous plants and Peashooters on the lawn. Failing that I'll see my CQ about the armoury. Tell him I have to re qualify. Also, a helmet to protect my BRAINS. That should keep them away.

Gore Priest 666

I just want to suggest Dr Dale's Zombie Dictionary it's a really fun read and it will guarantee that you survive the zombie apocalypse.


"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"