DVD Giveaway: "Bikini Bloodbath Carwash"

[mritt]

Here are my 3 ladies (very inspired bit of casting, if I do say)

Stormy Daniels
Alexis Texas
Victoria Beckham


Here is how its gonna go down


After a run of bad luck, Bunny Romero and her life-partner Suzy Banyon are about to be evicted from their home on peaceful, Lampkin Lane on the first of November.

Bunny (Stormy Daniels) lost her job working on a horror movie set after playing a practical joke on an intern. It seems the poor kid went nustso after discovering he had been making out with a freshly dug up corpse. Some people just can't take a joke.

Suzy (Alexis Texas) quit her job working at an ancient, mystical books library, where she may or may not have seen the identity of a black gloved killer who murdered a student with an electric guillotine - or maybe it was the student's helper monkey....hmmm.


Things are looking up however. Bunny's distant aunt Lauren, and her husband Wade were involved in a head on collision with a giant unmanned bulldozer while touring the site of a meteor impact. Wade burned to death, leaving Lauren to run the carwash business by herself.

Lauren (Victoria Beckham), up to her thighs in debt, decides to hire Bunny and Suzy to boost business. It doesn't take long before stuck up Lauren shows her disapproval for Bunny and Suzy's lifestyle and their graphic displays of affection. She also finds the girls naked windshield washing techniques to be sinful. If the lord wanted you to wash windows with your butt or your boobs, then you would have sponges on them!

Things go from bad to worse when a psycho-sexual killer turns up knocking off the regular patrons, as well as most of the guests at Bunny and Suzy's anti-prop 8 slumber party/political rally.

Can it be the nutso intern, the black gloved killer, or is it the helper monkey? Will Suzy and Bunny's sizeable talents be put to the test as they try to track down this psycho-sexual killer.

---spoilers---
It was none of them. The intern died while in the asylum (the documentation was just misplaced). The helper monkey (named link) now works with a scientist and a cute blonde in the middle of nowhere and things are just fine. The black gloved killer was just a figment of Suzy's imagination created by a sexually repressed childhood where her parents were cannibals.

It is revealed in the shocking ending that Lauren...NO...Wade is the killer! Lauren was the one who burned to death in the car accident. Wade underwent plastic surgery to fulfill his lifelong dream of looking like a plastic mannequin and assumed his dead wife's identity. This revelation comes as Lauren/Wade exposes her completely naked body to Suzy revealing inflated fake boobs and a penis all while poor Suzy tries to administer the kiss of life to her unconscious soul-mate Bunny. In a naked, hand-to-hand battle worthy of the Matrix, Suzy defeats the insane Wade using her patented finishing move - the butt-smother.

Sweet.

Just in time for Halloween, Bunny and Suzy can enjoy their sexual freedom while living debt free back in their home on Lampkin Lane. Happily ever after.

[The Joker]

A difficult decision. But in the end, only these three women could make the cut.



Amy Adams. "Who?" you ask. What do you care? Look at the photo: she's a fox. (She was in the Office. And... a terrible movie, called Cruel Intentions 2 which would fit in nicely in the pantheon of bad movies reviewed on this site [/hint].

The redhead from t.A.T.U, just because she's astoundingly good-looking. [possibly "nsfw" pic below]

Moderator's note:  Pic removed.  Do not post nudity.

She can even sing, I wouldn't care.

And it occurred to me: With gorgeous women in bikinis washing my car, the last thing I want to worry about is a homicidal mental patient.

So, to kick the escaped serial killer's head in...



Yûko Moriyama

Things I learned from imagining this nonexistent movie.

The deranged killer may be able to smash his way through locked closet doors, but he'll have no idea what hit him when Yûko Moriyama traps him in a giant crystal.

[raj]

Here are my 3 ladies (very inspired bit of casting, if I do say)

Stormy Daniels
Alexis Texas
Victoria Beckham


Here is how its gonna go down


After a run of bad luck, Bunny Romero and her life-partner Suzy Banyon are about to be evicted from their home on peaceful, Lampkin Lane on the first of November.

Bunny (Stormy Daniels) lost her job working on a horror movie set after playing a practical joke on an intern. It seems the poor kid went nustso after discovering he had been making out with a freshly dug up corpse. Some people just can't take a joke.

What? why go nutso after discovering it's a corpse you've been making out with?  I mean, c'mon people, haven't we all been there?

[mritt]

What? why go nutso after discovering it's a corpse you've been making out with?  I mean, c'mon people, haven't we all been there?

I can just picture my dad, doing his best Rodney Dangerfield.

I've been waking up next to a corpse for forty years.
Together with her 2 sisters and her mother, its like living with the feminist version of the 4 horseman of the apocalypse.
I get no respect.

[Rev. Powell]

Originally posted in the wrong thread.  Also, removed potentially offensive language.

My three would be Oprah Winfrey, Martha Stewartand that Hasselhoff from The View. To see them all in bikinis then ripped to shreds would just really make my day!!!

From onefuncapt.

[wanderarbeiter]

I'm going to go with a First Ladies motif, nothing hotter than a lady who commands dull symbolic power. Plus they boned a national leader, that's got to be worth something.

1. Claudia Taylor "Lady Bird" Johnson



2. Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy



3. Mary Todd Lincoln (only because her resemblance to Curly makes me chuckle so.)

[ghouck]

PM me if you have any nudes of any of those three, OK wanderarbeiter?

[The Joker]

There actually are pics of Jackie-O naked online. I saw some on fatboy.cc. I'd fish 'em up for you myself and link them, but I've already offended the webmaster once, so I'm giving him a break.

[Andrew]

Email entry for Anthony O:

I'd go with Amy Jo Johnson (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Faye
Dunaway (Chinatown, Network), and Ziyi Zhang (Hero, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon).

[the Rev. J. Darkside]

Possible teams: 1. Pam Grier, Misty Mundae and Brandon Merrill (because it's about time she did her second film).
                      2. Rosario Dawson, Darian Caine and Ana de la Reguera
                      3. Gabrielle Union, Aurora Snow and Salma Hayek
                      4. Rae Dawn Chong, Lissa Layng and Sandra Oh
                      5. Jaime Pressley, Thora Birch and Julliette Lewis
                      6. Kristen Wilson, Felissa Rose and Katharine Isabelle
                      7. Joey Adams, Katharine Isabelle and Sydney Poitier
                      8. Stephanie Fondue, Bitty Schram and Uma Thurman
                      9. A.J. Khan (before she altered her breasts), Rane Revere and Vanessa Ferlito
                     10. Anna Faris, Zoe Bell and Patricia Arquette
                     11. Angela Bassett, Etsuko Shihomi and Fairuza Balk
                            all in their prime (a lot of them still are).
I understand they're from different times, but mixing and matching these will make a badass team. The names kept coming into my head and I couldn't choose between three. I apologize.

P.S. I almost forgot Bridgette Wilson, Robin Tunney and Sarah Silverman (because it's about time she gave horror a shot).

[Edibowl]

Without question I would want:

Nancy Reagan

Elisha Cuthbert

and

Terri Shiavo.


That is a dream come true.

[Dennis]

 

Beauty, Brains, and Brawn

[Sean]

Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton  get my vote.
sounds like a party to me!!!!

[Hammock Rider]

Lucy Lawless, Monique Gabrielle and Suze Orman. I hear ol' Suze isn't too quick in the 40 yard dash.

[scott floyd]

This is almost too easy:

Paris Hilton
Lindsay Lohan
Carrie Underwood