Twisted, Demented, or Strange Things You've Done For Humor

[Mr. DS]

When I used to work in retail, I called the front desk person and had them page names like "Manuel Hung".
When I was younger I called up my mother on my brother's car phone to tell her I was arrested.  
I used to prank call fellow coworkers I didn't like, actually made one girl cry.

[Mofo Rising]

I made these little guys:



Almost that time of year for another batch.

[AndyC]

When I was in high school, I worked for about a year as a janitor in a local retail and restaurant complex (tourist trap). Basically, they turned a bunch of teenagers loose in the place after closing, with keys to the doors and the alarms. Aside from making sandwiches, scooping ice cream cones, cooking the odd meal, surfing through the dining room on serving carts, racing bicycles through the gift shop, chucking soft toys at each other and snacking on various grocery items, nobody ever took advantage of it. But there was one thing in particular that fits here, because it was one of the rare shenanigans that extended beyond the building.

The main office was kind of a loft with a view of various shops and levels, as well as a window overlooking a parking lot shared with several other businesses. In that office was a microphone connected to the PA system, which reached the entire building, including several speakers in the parking lot. On a few quiet evenings, some of us crept up to the office and crouched down below the window with the microphone to insult passers-by.

"Hey you.... yeah you... what are you looking around for?"

And to somebody coming out of the doughnut shop - "Hey, those things make you fat!"

"Noah! I want you to build an ark!"

You get the idea. It was fun, but we didn't do it much. All we'd have needed was somebody complaining to the owner and that would have been it for us.

[BTM]

One time in my college Biology class, we had this "game" we were playing in groups of two to teach us various things about animals population and how they can be affected.  Basically, you started out with like a twenty animals (ours was cows, I think) and you'd draw cards that would affect the population in various ways.  For instance, the cards would say something like, "Disease takes 1/3 of animal population" or "High birth rate results in 1/4 increase."  Etc.  The point of the game was to try and keep your animals within a certain limit, not too high (or else they run out of food in their environment) and not too low least you risk the population dying out. 

Well, the cards were written on 3x5 so I came up with my OWN cards and slipped them into the deck. 

I wrote stuff like, "Animals get Viagra!  Population increases by 1/3!"
"Local Satanists group holds animal sacrifices! Population deceases by five."

I can't remember off-hand all the other crazy stuff I wrote, but I can only imagine how the students in the class next semester reacted when they got those cards...

:)

[Ash]

We used to do a lot of prank phone calls when we were teenagers.
I would call people and just say, "Blah!" 
They would ask, "Who is this!?" and I'd say, "Blah!"
I'd use a fast "Blah" and a slow lingering "Blaaah".  

We would also call local businesses and prank them, too.
One time we called a men's clothing store and asked them if they sold underwear with a hole in the back.
My favorite was when we called a Chinese restaurant and, in an Asian accent, asked the woman if they served fried dog.  She exclaimed in her own accent, "Fwied dawg!?" 

[Trevor]

We used to do a lot of prank phone calls when we were teenagers.
I would call people and just say, "Blah!" 
They would ask, "Who is this!?" and I'd say, "Blah!"
I'd use a fast "Blah" and a slow lingering "Blaaah".  

That reminds me of Count Blah from Greg The Bunny, Ash.

None of the first two things (and nothing that I did) but certainly strange:

When we had Dad's memorial service last year, we were all solemn and sad, for about five minutes into the thing. I remember Mom squeezing my hand and crying silently, that is, until my aunt, who was very close to Dad, took off her glasses, wiped her eyes and said "Enough of this crying sh*t, let's have a drink on Tommy."

We all looked at each other and all burst out laughing. We knew then that he was with us because he would have been the first to say what my aunt said. He always said that he actually wanted a party, not a memorial service and that's what he got.

I actually had a beer that day on Dad ~ when another of my aunts saw this, she went  and whispered to Mom. Later on, I asked Mom what my aunt had said. She told me my aunt had gone pale and hissed: "TREVOR'S HAVING A BEER!" Mom's reply was "So what? It's one beer, it won't kill him."  HIC

[trekgeezer]

My Dad was pretty twisted and used show us things he used to do as a kid back in the 20's.  One Halloween he showed me a trick they used to pull. Get a coffee can and punch a small hole in the bottom (just big enough for cotton twine to pass through).  Rub the twine with some pine rosin and tie it to a tree or post, then pull it through the hole in the can.   Pushing can back and forth on the twine makes a hellaciously spooky noise.

We get the stuff together and go to my adult sisters house.  Her dog was sleeping on the porch and didn't notice us, but when we started up the noise making, the dog jumped up started howling and p**sing all over the place.


To show how twisted he was, once my Dad found a dead raccoon on the road, threw it in the back of his truck and brought it home. He then proceeded to bring it in the house to show it to our Siamese cat.  The cat made an ungodly snarl and ran behind the couch.  We spent the next 30 minutes pulling her claws out of the back of the could to get her loose.

[Trevor]

We get the stuff together and go to my adult sisters house.  Her dog was sleeping on the porch and didn't notice us, but when we started up the noise making, the dog jumped up started howling and p**sing all over the place.

[ghouck]

One we used to do is to get the phone book and make a list of EVERY pizza joint around. If we had three phones available, we'd split the list into three and each person would go through the list ordering pizza for the intended target. The idea was to place as many orders as possible as fast as possible, because almost every pizza joint was going to call back the phone number you gave them, which was the victim's number (this was before caller ID was popular). So, this person would get a 30-minute string of pizza joints calling to verify their order, followed by 4 or 5 that actually made and try to deliver the pizzas we ordered for them. Then, we would act like we were just walking by, the pizza dude would offer us the pizzas at a huge discount, and we'd buy some one them.

[Edit] OOPS, , this was supposed to go in the "Practical Jokes" thread

[Javakoala]

I used to do a killer dog imitation, barking, growling. I go into stores, get in an empty aisle and let loose.

My favorite was when a Watchtower-slinging lady knocked on my door, I just stood with my face visible in the window on the door.  She started talking to me. I did nothting, just stared blankly.  After a while, she just trailed off, then get p**sed, then got very, very frightened and slowly backed away to her car.  The best 8 minutes of my life.

Another weird thing I did to torment a couple of shy people:  I was in a car pool with these people but about 2 years apart so I got to do this twice.  The targets were both easily embarrassed. I called up the local rock station, KMOD, in Tulsa and spoke with the morning female DJ, who happened to be Jeanne Summers (now known as actress Jean Tripplehorn), told her it was "Do Something Crazy" day at the university we drove to, and that I had to ask her out on a date and have her announce it on the air with my full name. Of course, I gave the target's names in both cases, and she was MORE than happy to do so. Her sidekick made all sorts of rude comments. Both people were mortified and wouldn't talke to me for over a week, but it was funny as hell.

[Mr. DS]

I'm known for giving simply awful gifts for secret santas.  Heres a few I've given...

1.) Extremely fat girl porn
2.) Fake dog crap
3.) An obsessive compulsive action figure
4.) Electronic nose picker

[BTM]

I made these little guys:



Almost that time of year for another batch.

Ah, man, that is GROSS!  Is that KETCHUP??  On Chocolate?

Uhhhh!

[meQal]

I made these little guys:



Almost that time of year for another batch.

Ah, man, that is GROSS!  Is that KETCHUP??  On Chocolate?

Uhhhh!

I'm thinking a raspberry or strawberry jelly filling. Would taste a lot better if you were going to eat it.

[Mofo Rising]

It was strawberry syrup and maraschino cherries. I didn't eat them.

[ER]

When my cousin Magda visited us one year when I was in high school, I was still steamed over some prank she and her friends pulled on me over the summer, so I spent the week before she came getting guys I knew to act like they thought she was a transvestite.