THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs

[Trevor]

HORROR OF PARTY BEACH

Tom [panicking] "The music's coming from INSIDE the radio!"

[Trevor]

THE SIDEHACKERS

Crow: "Indy, throw me the whip!"
Tom: "Throw me the idol!"

[Trevor]

QUEST OF THE DELTA KNIGHTS:

Tom: "Oh, Dull is that way, dammit."  
Crow: "Pots! Pots for throwing pee at your neighbors!"
Pearl: "Good news! Only 20% of the village died of the Plague overnight!"

[Trevor]

TOUCH OF SATAN

Tom: "Hm, signed copy of the Necronomicon there. "
Mike: "You guys scare me, ha ha ha. Signed, Satan."

[Trevor]

WARRIOR OF THE LOST WORLD

[Robert Ginty accidentally bumps a spider with his foot]
Crow: "Oh great, now we gotta buy that one."

[Trevor]

DEATHSTALKER & THE WORRIERS FROM HELL

Wizard: "Far......."
Joel: "A note to follow So......" 

[Trevor]

INVASION OF THE NEPTUNE MEN

[Old scientist looks at a row of clocks on a wall]

Crow: "What times are it?" 

[Trevor]

QUEST OF THE DELTA KNIGHTS

Baydool: All is well.
Tom: Oh yeah, I got bought by a beard-wearing psycho, I had half a can of pee thrown at me, yeah, things are great.

Half a can of pee  

[Trevor]

Gamera vs. Guiron

(Akio wakes up with his head shaved)
Tom: Those girls are cannibals.
Joel: They ate my hair?

+ 

[Trevor]

THE GIANT GILA MONSTER

JOEL (as the Gila Monster): Hey, don't drink that!  That's my urine!  I don't even do that!

+ 

[Trevor]

THE VIOLENT YEARS

[Stern faced judge exits his chambers]
Tom: "Just dropped a helluva tort in there if you know what I mean." 

[Trevor]

GORGO

[The ship is being bombarded with tidal waves]

Mike: "I'm drowning and I'm wet." 

[Trevor]

QUEST FOR THE DELTA KNIGHTS

[sounds of someone urinating into a pan]

Tom [grossed out] "No, no, please no!"
Pearl: "Ewww.... wizard wizz!"

[Rev. Powell]

COLOSSUS AND THE HEADHUNTERS

Mike: "This movie's up to its ears in rears."

(Maciste is sneaking around to avoid guards) Mike: "We must avoid action at all costs!"

(Woman does bizarre ceremonial chicken wedding dance) Crow: "Now, this will anger the gods!"

[Rev. Powell]

THE SINISTER URGE

CROW (after the cops raid a "smut" shoot with demurely dressed women): If they're raiding these guys, imagine the arrests they could make on the beach!

MIKE: Teens come running for the good taste of porn!

TOM (after cop grabs gun before struggle can ensue): "Another action sequence narrowly avoided!"