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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Television  |  THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs « previous next »
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Author Topic: THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs  (Read 274096 times)
Trevor
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« Reply #495 on: May 12, 2015, 04:58:49 AM »

THE DEADLY MANTIS  [Guy is firing at the mantis]

Mike: "Huh. Last night, a racoon and now this."   TeddyR
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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #496 on: June 13, 2015, 05:10:46 PM »

THE MAGIC SWORD

[Skinny-dipping scene cuts at the last possible moment before we can see the heroine's breasts]
TOM: That's precise editing!

[Princess is thrown into prison with two other pretty young princesses with 60s hairdos]
JOEL: Petticoat Dungeon!

[Estelle Winwood silently shows hero the ring she took from Basil Rathbone during his wedding]
TOM: Hey! My own mom just flipped me off!
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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #497 on: June 20, 2015, 03:26:22 PM »

HERCULES AND THE CAPTIVE WOMEN

['General Music Company' is credited for the soundtrack]
TOM: General Music Company--nothing specific. Slow or fast, that's about all we have.

GYPSY: They're steam cleaning the horses!

Captive Woman: Today is dedicated to Uranus.
CROW: Well, thank you, I'm flattered.
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Trevor
Uncle Zombie
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« Reply #498 on: July 27, 2015, 04:09:09 AM »

THE DEADLY MANTIS

Voice on phone: "Put the Old Man on the horn, will you Pete?"
Crow: "Who? Dizzy Gillespie?"

 BounceGiggle TeddyR
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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #499 on: August 16, 2015, 12:04:20 PM »

"Here Comes the Circus" short

TOM: This act embodies the sadness that is circus.

TOM: Oh no! They're doing it clown style!

THE DAY THE EARTH FROZE

CROW: Ladies and gentlemen, the magic of Ulysses S. Grant!

[The hero's mother asks a series of natural objects where her son is]

Tree: I have troubles enough of my own, old woman. The men strip my bark for making baskets. The children break my branches for brooms. How should I know about your son?
JOEL: Birch, birch, birch!

TOM: Have you thought about praying to me, God, the big G-meister?

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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #500 on: September 12, 2015, 07:19:23 PM »

HERCULES

JOEL: "Hi, we came to get Scruffy, our pet lion, OH MY GOD!"

[The Amazon graveyard, where only men are buried]
CROW: "It's the Andrea Dworkin memorial cemetery."

CROW [in Basil Fawlty voice]: "Thank you, gods, thank you so bloody much!"
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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #501 on: October 31, 2015, 11:45:30 AM »

THE PAINTED HILLS

Starring Lassie as the revenge-killing pooch "Shep!"

JOEL: A lifetime of Snausages or I sing like a canary.

CROW: Another one, geez, Shep has got 'em buried everywhere!

JOEL: I'm having a personal pants pile-on.

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Trevor
Uncle Zombie
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« Reply #502 on: November 24, 2015, 01:53:43 AM »

DANGER: DIABOLIK

[The police shoot at Diabolik]
Crow: Look, I'm sorry if you're offended by my random murders.

 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #503 on: December 13, 2015, 12:08:46 PM »

ALIEN FROM L.A.

Kathy Ireland [in her squeaky voice]: I just want to know why you want to break up with me?
MIKE: It's your helium addiction.

TOM: Why is it that the action sequences slow this movie down?

CROW: So, what, did the movie just take a break?
MIKE: Hello?
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Trevor
Uncle Zombie
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Posts: 18903


South African Film Activist & Chief Troublemaker


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« Reply #504 on: December 15, 2015, 03:36:45 AM »

IT CONQUERED THE WORLD

Tom: [coughs] You know, halfway through the dinner, my fillet got up and beat the hell out of my coffee and the coffee was too weak to defend itself.

 BounceGiggle TeddyR TeddyR
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Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
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« Reply #505 on: December 15, 2015, 08:46:20 AM »

IT CONQUERED THE WORLD

Tom: [coughs] You know, halfway through the dinner, my fillet got up and beat the hell out of my coffee and the coffee was too weak to defend itself.

 BounceGiggle TeddyR TeddyR


That's a Tom Waits joke/reference! (1:43 in)

Small | Large
« Last Edit: December 15, 2015, 08:48:54 AM by Rev. Powell » Logged

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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #506 on: January 09, 2016, 09:18:57 PM »

RADAR SECRET SERVICE

CROW: It's not the radar, it's the size of the amplitude, if you know what I mean.

[after a particularly bad line reading by a bit player]
MIKE: The director's mistress, ladies and gentlemen.

[commenting on the fact that the agents drive a car with a giant radar receiver on top]
MIKE: It's kind of like "Radar Obvious Service."
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I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot.
Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 2748
Posts: 23192


Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #507 on: January 16, 2016, 03:59:52 PM »

TEEN-AGE CRIME WAVE

[Everyone looks started when the phone rings]
TOM: Ah! What's it doing?

[Later when the phone rings again...]
CROW: It's that thing again! What does it mean?

[During the climax]
CROW: Luckily, I took a class in observatory maintenance!
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I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot.
Trevor
Uncle Zombie
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1778
Posts: 18903


South African Film Activist & Chief Troublemaker


WWW
« Reply #508 on: January 18, 2016, 12:08:05 AM »

TEEN-AGE CRIME WAVE

[Everyone looks started when the phone rings]
TOM: Ah! What's it doing?

[Later when the phone rings again...]
CROW: It's that thing again! What does it mean?

 TeddyR TeddyR

If you call (002712) 441 31 66, you will get the same reaction from me.  Wink
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The wind splashed in my face, can smell a trace of thunder.....
Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
B-Movie Kraken
****

Karma: 2748
Posts: 23192


Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


WWW
« Reply #509 on: January 23, 2016, 08:19:06 PM »

VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS

MIKE: I'm sure the meat from the huge mutated duck has no side effects.

[Teen is stuck in giant cleavage]
MIKE: First base is larger than I remember!
(P.S. joke should have been "second base," not sure why no one caught that!)

[Tommy Kirk slings a stone at giantess, misses]
CROW: He couldn't hit the barn side of a broad.
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I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot.
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Television  |  THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs « previous next »
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