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A bit about me

Started by Javakoala, April 13, 2010, 08:54:07 PM

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Javakoala

I kinda feel weird posting this as it feels like I'm looking for attention, but I can get that in many different ways, so....

Since I consider this place a second home and the people here more family than my real family, I want to share this, just in case something weird goes on or comes up.

I have been having anxiety and panic attacks at work. I've had them for years at various times, but it was getting bad enough at my current job at the VA that my supervisor (I love this woman--she's a great boss) suggested I get some help because she doesn't want to lose a good employee over something other than my own failings. She directed me to a group of therapists that she uses.

After a few sessions, they have diagnosed me with ADHD, which, looking back over most of my life, explains a whole helluva lot about my life, my issues, my poor work habits, and the crap I dished out to my ex for nearly 15 years. I never understood how I didn't notice things or why, after repeated nag sessions, I'd still forget things, and thousands of other little things over the years.

I'm now starting medication to calm the anxiety as well as medication to deal with the ADHD.  Right now, I am very happy to know that what I thought was just me being a dumbass may not be my fault, and I am so incredibly hopeful this makes me "normal" in that I can function like a human should and hopefully work on the things I love and stay focused long enough to get somewhere with it all. Try not to groan at the thought of my consistently posting new reviews to both Deranged Visions AND to the Bargain Basement Thrills blogs. Hell, I might even get my alphabetical mini-review blog up and functioning. One thing at a time for now and that is to work on these meds and make sure things go right.

I've been telling everyone in my life this. Not that I'm putting responsibility in the hands of others, but point out to me if you notice any changes in my postings, good or bad changes, as I'm sure I'll see changes in how I present myself. I'm hoping they are for the better.

Thank you all for being here, and especially Andrew for creating a home where I am finally not the weirdest person in the room...we ALL are!

Raffine

Good for you, buddy!  :thumbup:

I know you'll be able to change the things that are causing you grief yet keep the parts that are delightfully weird.






If you're an Andy Milligan fan there's no hope for you.

Rev. Powell

Welcome to the wonderful world of medication!  It can make a tremendous difference in your life.

Signed, satisfied Nefazodone user since 2002!
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Ash

Quote from: Rev. Powell on April 13, 2010, 09:34:47 PM
Welcome to the wonderful world of medication!  It can make a tremendous difference in your life.

That's very true.
My doctor prescribed Zoloft to me a couple months ago and I feel pretty good!   :smile:
Not 100% like I should, but still good nonetheless. (the depression began with the death of my brother in 2003)

There's nothing wrong with taking medication if it works for you.  Just be aware of possible side effects.

Jack

I've got an anxiety disorder myself.  Had it for 9 years before someone correctly diagnosed it  :bluesad:  Every time I went into a large public building, I felt dizzy and thought I might pass out.  I finally had a panic attack - thought I was dying of a heart attack.  The doctor at the hospital figured out the source of my weirdness.  Now I take 10 mg of Lexapro every day and I'm almost normal  :teddyr:  It took about a month for it to build up in my system and reach its full strength.

Welcome to the club!
The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.

- Paulo Coelho

Sleepyskull

Nice to see you're keeping a positive attitude about this!   :thumbup:

I know what it can be like, as I also have ADHD.  I have been diagnosed with it as far back as I can remember. 

The medicine is not so bad, it's just getting used to taking it. I have to take 8 pills of 4 different medicines a day. (They're not all for ADHD)

Keep in mind that "normal" is overrated!  :teddyr:

Good luck to you!
Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world`s original sin. - Oscar Wilde

Silverlady


Zoloft has been my best friend on and off and helped me through many hard times.  As long as you're  under a doctor's care who monitors your conditon, do what ever it takes to help yourself.  :smile:
Hold onto your dreams ....

Javakoala

You people are awesome.  Thank you.

If we ever have a badmovies.org convention, we can all trade meds for a couple of days so we can truly say, "I know how you feel."

Actually, if we do that I just want to have five minutes sitting between Paula and Paquita. I doubt I'd need a drink to feel all warm and fuzzy if that came to pass.


Vik

I'm not on medication, but I'm pretty sure I need it  :buggedout:
Good luck !

Andrew

My best to you, sir.  I know a few people diagnosed with ADHD who take the medication, and they say it makes a huge difference.
Andrew Borntreger
Badmovies.org

Allhallowsday

I take a blood pressure med.  I think that anything that helps people to feel better, live longer, accomplish more, is a good thing. 
If you want to view paradise . . . simply look around and view it!

zombie no.one

Quote from: Javakoala on April 13, 2010, 08:54:07 PM
I am finally not the weirdest person in the room...we ALL are!
that made me actually laugh, fair play....

Trevor

Quote from: Javakoala on April 13, 2010, 08:54:07 PM
Thank you all for being here, and especially Andrew for creating a home where I am finally not the weirdest person in the room...we ALL are!

Warm hugs to you, Java ~ trust everything will go well with you. :thumbup:

I was diagnosed with what my doctor calls 'acute anxiety disorder' last year and was put on medication. The problem is: the medication I'm on gives me violent mood swings and makes me irritable, so I dropped it and am now trying alternative methods to cope with depression and stress. I have to add though: the medication kept me off cigarettes and it will be a year this month that I haven't touched a cigarette.  :smile:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Javakoala

Quote from: Trevor on April 15, 2010, 06:34:17 AM
Quote from: Javakoala on April 13, 2010, 08:54:07 PM
Thank you all for being here, and especially Andrew for creating a home where I am finally not the weirdest person in the room...we ALL are!

Warm hugs to you, Java ~ trust everything will go well with you. :thumbup:

I was diagnosed with what my doctor calls 'acute anxiety disorder' last year and was put on medication. The problem is: the medication I'm on gives me violent mood swings and makes me irritable, so I dropped it and am now trying alternative methods to cope with depression and stress. I have to add though: the medication kept me off cigarettes and it will be a year this month that I haven't touched a cigarette.  :smile:

Excellent, my friend. My parents smoked through my childhood years (and while my mom was pregnant with me) and it is the nastiest habit on the planet. Anyone who quits (and by quitting, I mean never going back to it, not the usual, "I quit dozens of times.") deserves a big hug from the rest of us on this planet.

Consider yourself hugged, Trevor. I just hope you had the clean undies on....

Psycho Circus

Yeah, you're never alone here whatever your issues. I wouldn't ever feel bad to just vent because there are so many board members that will try to perk you up or give their own personal advice. I myself used to have anxiety problems Java (recluse for 2 years), I've also suffered heavily from depression and borderline personality disorder. It's good that you do have people closer to home that are concerned and have told you to get help, I used to always turn that type of thing down. Take it though and stay cool man, you'll be grand.  :thumbup: