Give a film synopsis in 5 words or less

[Mr. DS]

Return Of The Living Dead- Zombies really want more paramedics

Dawn Of The Dead - Malls are great hiding places

Meet The Feebles - Naughty puppets end up shot

[Doggett]

Judge Dredd - Judge Dredd loses his job.
The Mist - There is mist. And monsters.

[HappyGilmore]

Ace Ventura Pet Detective: Guy ass talks.  Saves dolphin.
Clerks.- Store clerks b***h about customers.
UHF- Wacky janitor saves tv station.
Freaked- Rastafarian Eyeballs.  Styrofoam Cup.
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy- Opposing news teams battle royal.
Chasing Amy- Affleck makes gay women straight.
Dogma- God's army includes potheads.
The Toxic Avenger- Radioactive waste makes you cuter.
Cannibal! The Musical- Japanese were true Native Americans.
Mystery Men- Screaming is not a superpower.

[Leah]

Monster A Go Go- p**s off the audience big-time!

[retrorussell]

Blood Feast: Egyptian caterer sacrifices dumb women.
Friday The 13th Part V: Paramedic kills teens, not Jason.
Deadly Blessing: Girls visit Amish community; terrorized.
The Brood: Mom births mutants; eats placenta.
Deadly Spawn: Phallic aliens invade; munch Earthlings.

[Joe the Destroyer]

CHUD- Hobos become monsters; devour Yorkers.

[Mr. DS]

Laserblast - Unlikeable teen blows crap up

Puppetmaster 3 - Toulon's handywork wastes Nazis

Xanadu - Muses sometimes have awful ideas

[retrorussell]

Eyes Of A Stranger- Fat sicko murders.  Stalks sisters.
Contamination/Toxic Spawn- Alien egg goo explodes astronauts.
Alone In The Dark- Psychos escape nuthouse; pursue doctor.
Student Bodies- Psychopath monologues; wields silly weapons.
Breakfast Club- Students in detention talk forever.

[Mr. DS]

Titanic - Awful writing exploits real tragedy

[AndyC]

Jaws - Three guys hunt a shark.

[Mofo Rising]

Volcano/Dante's Peak - Volcano blows up, stupidity ensues.
2012 - World blows up, stupidity ensues.
Armageddon - Asteroid shows up, stupidity ensues.

I could probably keep going like that all day.

[retrorussell]

Xtro- Dad turns bad via aliens.
Game Of Death- Kung-fu expert defeats pagoda bosses.
2000 Maniacs- Hicktown celebrates secession.  Tourists die.

[JaseSF]

Independence Day: Aliens show up, stupidity ensues.
Godzilla (1998): Frog-zilla shows up, stupidity ensues.

Thanks Mofo for the inspiration.

[AndyC]

Transformers - Giant robots appear, stupidity ensues.
Cloverfield - Monster attacks, shaky stupidity ensues.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Indy returns, not much ensues.
House of 1000 Corpses - Stop watching after Captain Spaulding

[retrorussell]

Night Warning- Aunt overprotects nephew.  Murders happen.
Terror Train- Nerd pranked; avenges aboard train.
Friday The 13th Part III- Jason kills potheads.  Ejects eyeball.
Fade To Black- Movie nerd wears costumes.  Kills.
Time After Time- Herbert Wells meets killer; time-travels.