The popularity of Twilight explained

[The Gravekeeper]

Yeah...it seems I'm one of the few people with ovaries who didn't get sucked into this. I tried reading one of the books just to see what all the fuss was about, and what little I read (before I was unable to continue due to uncontrollable laughter and revulsion) stank of self-insert Mary Sue fan-fiction. Yeah, sorry, but if you take away all the "pretty" words (some of those adjectives were just misused resulting in some very odd mental images) what you have is an emotionally abusive pedophile trying to control a manipulative little b***h.

At least Meyer's bored of vampires now, so there'll be no more new Twilight books. I'm just concerned about whatever poor monster or subject she decides to write about next since the woman demonstrates all the writing ability of a 14 year-old girl with a thesaurus.

[BTM]

No, two movies.  They're splitting Breaking Dawn in half.   

(yells several really loud swear words)

[Kthulhu]

Two days ago I had to sit through the latest one. It puts a Seagal movie to shame (everybody starts breaking necks). One cannot hope to explain the stupidity contained in that movie (and the entire series including of course the books). And things like that are considered as literature. Hopefully like 10-something years later this will be considered as a bad movie and then everybody will be wieving it for laughs.

[Mr. DS]

I've reviewed Twilight and New Moon on my blog.  Honestly, some of the most fun reviews for me to do because my wife and her buddies LOVE this series and it was a pleasure to bash it.  I however, as stated in other threads, have given up on it.  The plot line, although easy to trash for it's shallow idiocy, is just torturous to get through.  None of the characters are even remotely likeable.  And really, there is no plot line to follow.  Edward (as ChaosTheory brilliantly covered already) is a prick and Jacob is a lost puppy dog who simply can't take "no" for an answer. Bella, as the video states, is in fact a Lego block which make me give a sh!t less about her.  She picks a prick over a nice guy so why should any viewer or reader for that matter give a crap about her well being.  Since it is her story, that seems counterproductive plot wise.

I doubt I will be partaking in the last two stories because I just don't care.  If I do it will be for review purposes only and I will have to get hammered before watching.  Time for shameless self promotion, here are the links to the first two film reviews I did;
http://darksidersrealm.blogspot.com/2009/10/plot-as-loving-husband-i-find-myself.html
http://darksidersrealm.blogspot.com/2009/11/hungry-like-shapeshifter.html

[ulthar]

Hey, DS...I read your reviews.

Very funny, especially with Tool's Schism playing while I read the first one.

Good Job.   

[BTM]

Bella, as the video states, is in fact a Lego block which make me give a sh!t less about her.  She picks a prick over a nice guy so why should any viewer or reader for that matter give a crap about her well being.  Since it is her story, that seems counterproductive plot wise.

I like how the article on Cracked puts it, basically they say, "Halfway through, Stephenie Meyer realizes that Jacob Black is far cooler than Edward and performs a quick character assassination by having him mouth-rape her.

I doubt I will be partaking in the last two stories because I just don't care.  If I do it will be for review purposes only and I will have to get hammered before watching.  Time for shameless self promotion, here are the links to the first two film reviews I did;
http://darksidersrealm.blogspot.com/2009/10/plot-as-loving-husband-i-find-myself.html
http://darksidersrealm.blogspot.com/2009/11/hungry-like-shapeshifter.html

So lets see...we have a introverted female lead that is not only bipolar and poor in choosing boyfriends, she's also a raving schizophrenic. Christ, I'm so glad teenage girls reading this are looking up to her, I really am.

AHAHAHA!!  Good one!

[Doggett]

Here's someone else who can't stand Twilight.

http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317176.html

[Mr. DS]

Thanx for the compliments guys.  Yeah, watching those films just confused the hell out of me as to why people find this story entertaining.  It literally comes down to;

Edward: "We shouldn't be together"
Bella: "But we should...I love you..."
Edward: "No we shouldn't, I love you but I'm leaving you."

Bella runs to Jacob

Jacob: "Bella, we should be together...I love you."
Bella: "I can't, I love Edward."
Jacob: "Well, why don't you love me."
Bella: "Because I love Edward..."

repeat 50x until a real problem arises and is vanquished in a rather silly two minute fashion

I will say too that Bella is a repulsive c*ck tease and the whole Cullen clan are c*ck blocks.  Every time Jacob is about to get some action, either she shuts him down or the Cullens arrive to stop it.  Side note on Edward, his character is even worse on film because of Robert Pattinson.  The guy can't act his way out of a bag and he is playing an obnoxious wooden a-hole.   I will say that at least Taylor Lautner can act.  Kristin Stewart can too as long as she is on screen with the right cast members.

[3mnkids]

Bella is a manipulative b***h. Even more so in Eclipse. Yes, I watched it.     I only wanted to see the wolves(they are kinda cool) and the vampires fight. unfortunately it took 90 painful minutes to get too and was over way to fast.  Soooo not worth it.

I cant understand the fascination with these characters. How can anyone like Bella? Edward is a total psycho stalker, and Jacob is a pathetic loser... In Jacobs defense Bella does lead him on but still... grow a pair!

I do like the Alice character   

[InformationGeek]

Bella is a manipulative b***h. Even more so in Eclipse. Yes, I watched it.     I only wanted to see the wolves(they are kinda cool) and the vampires fight. unfortunately it took 90 painful minutes to get too and was over way to fast.  Soooo not worth it.

I cant understand the fascination with these characters. How can anyone like Bella? Edward is a total psycho stalker, and Jacob is a pathetic loser... In Jacobs defense Bella does lead him on but still... grow a pair!

I do like the Alice character   

You saw Eclipse?  I have some questions then.  Would you say this is better or worse than the last two movies?  Was Dakota Fanning in it (I know she was in last movie) and if she was, was she any good?  I am a fan of hers and I am deeply disappointed that she ended up this series.  So much talent wasted.

[3mnkids]

Bella is a manipulative b***h. Even more so in Eclipse. Yes, I watched it.    I only wanted to see the wolves(they are kinda cool) and the vampires fight. unfortunately it took 90 painful minutes to get too and was over way to fast.  Soooo not worth it.

I cant understand the fascination with these characters. How can anyone like Bella? Edward is a total psycho stalker, and Jacob is a pathetic loser... In Jacobs defense Bella does lead him on but still... grow a pair!

I do like the Alice character  

You saw Eclipse?  I have some questions then.  Would you say this is better or worse than the last two movies?  Was Dakota Fanning in it (I know she was in last movie) and if she was, was she any good?  I am a fan of hers and I am deeply disappointed that she ended up this series.  So much talent wasted.

I did and im so ashamed    I would say this is by far the worst of the three. They could have shaved off 45 minutes by just eliminating some of the  repetitive dialogue between edward/bella/jacob..Its painful.

She is in it for a few minutes and I was not impressed. She only has a few lines but she delivers them like the rest of the cast.. flat.

[Mr. DS]

Bella is a manipulative b***h. Even more so in Eclipse. Yes, I watched it.    I only wanted to see the wolves(they are kinda cool) and the vampires fight. unfortunately it took 90 painful minutes to get too and was over way to fast.  Soooo not worth it.

I cant understand the fascination with these characters. How can anyone like Bella? Edward is a total psycho stalker, and Jacob is a pathetic loser... In Jacobs defense Bella does lead him on but still... grow a pair!

I do like the Alice character  

You saw Eclipse?  I have some questions then.  Would you say this is better or worse than the last two movies?  Was Dakota Fanning in it (I know she was in last movie) and if she was, was she any good?  I am a fan of hers and I am deeply disappointed that she ended up this series.  So much talent wasted.

I did and im so ashamed    I would say this is by far the worst of the three. They could have shaved off 45 minutes by just eliminating some of the  repetitive dialogue between edward/bella/jacob..Its painful.

She is in it for a few minutes and I was not impressed. She only has a few lines but she delivers them like the rest of the cast.. flat.

Wow opening weekend no less too!   

Ok heres my thing with the Volturi.  SPOILERS AHEAD (not that anyone will care here  )

They had the potential to be such awesome antagonists in the series.   Lets face it, the book is weak plot wise as it is but at least a couple of good baddies could have save it right?  The Volturi are an ancient clan of governing vampires who will stop at nothing to kill those who break the ancient law.  Has plenty of potential right? Hell thats better than the three rogue laughable vampires they pass off as the bad guys in the first three who simply come off as high school punks.   

So anyhow, by the last book the mighty Volturi are about to come down and wreak havoc on everyone.  Oh yeah! Blood bath baby on both sides man!   When they arrive...both sides stare at each other...and stare...and stare...and eventually they kind of say "aw f*ck it"...AND WALK AWAY!!!  Seriously this is the most stupid f'n book every written!!! 

END SPOILERS

I'm going to say this whole film series will eventually sit comfortably in our bad movie film culture once it's popularity dies down.   It is layden with so much friggin' awfulness!  I would almost challenge anyone on this board to sit through it to see if you don't end up laughing hysterically by the end of it. 

[3mnkids]

Continuing SPOILER****



The Volturi do something very similar in Eclipse. They are sent to Seattle because of killings and disappearances. They know its a newborn army doing it and actually witness them killing people and they just walk away. They show up after the wolves/cullens/newborn army fight and what do they do? They kill the only survivor of the newborn army, A young girl who is scared and didnt fight.   

[Mr. DS]

You know what else is mildly disturbing, the underlying jailbait themes throughout the books.  Edward falls in love with Bella who is in her late teens.  Granted he was turned at around her age but he's like 100.  Jacob falls in love with Bella's daughter enough to mark her with a love stamp.  Creepy man...just f'n creepy.  Gawd, is anything right with these stories? 

[Evollove]

yes it is pedophilia all the way!! even 20-year old guys find high school girls annoying

also, this was written by a mormon