Bad Movie Fortune Cookies

[JorReno]

Troll 2: Dont drink the milk.

Ice Pirates: Lom se se eunuchy snip snip!

Attack From Mars: Looks like its another night of boppin' my own baloney.

[BoyScoutKevin]

Four quotes and one something helpful. The quotes first.

"It's spring. Here's to the first swallow."

"My, you are a fine growing boy."

"Fancy a game."

"Oh, I see you have been a good girl."

And now the something helpful.

"You will meet a tall dark stranger. She will put the bite on you. This will make you very unhappy."

"Lair of the White Worm"

[diamondwaspvenom]

Hobgoblins: For the love of God, don't fantasize about anything!

The Toxic Avenger: You will go through some dramatic changes that will benefit you and your society.

Ghoulies: I woulndn't go in the basement if I were you.

Return of the Killer Tomatoes: Your new love may not exactly be what you think she is.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space: If you're afraid of clowns, I've got bad news for you...

[Leah]

from Monster A Go Go
"Suddenly there was no trail. There was no giant, no monster, no thing called Douglas to be followed."

[Flangepart]

MARS NEEDS WOMEN : "You will need lots of tampons for the trip home."

THE GIANT CLAW : "Stock up on applejack."

THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS: "plan for rabbit stew"

PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE: "In the future, prepare for the FUTURE!"

THE BLOB: "Move to the north pole."

CASTLE OF THE VAMPIRES: "Call in an air strike with bunker busters."

OCTOPUS: "Shoot the evil guy, you wuss!"

WHEN A STRANGER CALLS: "Hang up, and break out the .45"

ROBOT MONSTER: "it's all a dream."

AIRPLANE! : "Don't call anyone Shirley."

NOTHING IS OUT THERE : "Trust Mike, for he knows all."

THE SLIME PEOPLE : "sharp hollow tubes are in your future." ..."Sorry, FUTURE!"

THEM! : "NEVER take off your flamethrower."

THE APE MAN : "Shoot the weird guy, he is the scripwriter."

[Hammock Rider]

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. "

..........Dr Giggles.

and

"The mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools. "

.............Machete

[Derf]

Star Wars:
Luke's cookie in the Cantina: "You will find a deeper love for a Family member."

The Ewoks: "A golden shine is not always divine. Be careful with new friends."


Deliverance: "Pretty lips do not a lover make."


Network: "Your anger can be positive when it is used to motivate others to do right."

[Flangepart]

KING KONG: "A large hair guy is in your future."

GODZILLA: "Buy lead underware."

DESTROY ALL MONSTERS: "Do NOT move to Japan!"

THE VALLY OF GWANGI: "Never confuse blanks with real ammo."

[diamondwaspvenom]

Nightmare On Elm Street 2: You will suffer much hardship in your new home.

It's Alive: Children can be ferocious, yours will be no different.

The People That Time Forgot: Your cavewoman fetish shall be fulfilled today.

Ghoulies II: Check the inside of your vehicle for once. There could be unwanted stowaways inside.

Carnosaur: You will never look at a chicken the same way again.

[diamondwaspvenom]

Friday the 13th part VI: You better desecrate your opponent's grave on a better night.

Halloween III: You're going to be in for one hell of a surprise this halloween.

The Fly II: Surprise! You're in an inferior sequel!

Howling II: I strongly recommend that you don't get too close with a relative.

Freddy vs Jason: You will witness the most epic battle of the century.

[Andrew]

Friday the 13th part VI: You better desecrate your opponent's grave on a better night.

If I can tweak this just a little, because it's a fun one:

"Tonight is not the night for desecrating a grave."

I would love to find a fortune cookie like that!

[theedinburghbteam]

"Brewsters Millions" - Today is a good day to make financial decisions.

"Memento" - Learn from your past to change your future.

"Jurassic Park" - Some things in life are larger than they appear.

[retrorussell]

Hell Night:

Avoid initiations involving a mansion owned by supposedly deceased murderers.
~or~
There will be a dead chick in your bed, and the world will go mad.

Dead Alive:

Kicking @$$ for the Lord will not necessarily guarantee your survival.

[ImaginaryFoot]

That aint gold in them there hills- The Hills Have Eyes