I'm trying not to be heartbroken.....

Mr. DS · February 04, 2011, 10:59:40 PM

QuoteDarksider, of all the wellwishers here (and I've been overwhelmed with gratitude for them all), your reply made me cry. Like the old saying goes "from your mouth to God's ear"

Warm hugs and thoughts for you. Don't hesitate at all to PM me if you need anything off your chest btw. I'd be happy to listen.

Killer Bees · February 04, 2011, 11:32:10 PM

Quote from: The DarkSider on February 04, 2011, 10:59:40 PM
QuoteDarksider, of all the wellwishers here (and I've been overwhelmed with gratitude for them all), your reply made me cry. Like the old saying goes "from your mouth to God's ear"
Warm hugs and thoughts for you. Don't hesitate at all to PM me if you need anything off your chest btw. I'd be happy to listen.

Thanks I will do that. The hardest thing for me will be the waiting until he contacts me.

Raffine · February 05, 2011, 12:08:33 AM

My thoughts are with you too, Bees.

Killer Bees · February 05, 2011, 02:10:25 AM

Quote from: Raffine on February 05, 2011, 12:08:33 AM
My thoughts are with you too, Bees.

Thanks Raffine. I really appreciate it.

Trevor · February 05, 2011, 02:18:19 AM

I'll PM you my numbers - call me any time if you need to talk.

Killer Bees · February 05, 2011, 02:30:09 AM

Quote from: Trevor on February 05, 2011, 02:18:19 AM
I'll PM you my numbers - call me any time if you need to talk.

Thanks Trevor. You are a gem *hugs*

Newt · February 05, 2011, 02:41:35 AM

KB obviously I don't know either of you, but my first thought was that he is protecting you. It does sound as though things have become overwhelming for him on the home front. It is possible it is easier for him to keep it together and deal with those problems by keeping you separate and untouched by the unpleasantness. I agree that your e-mail was the best thing you could have done. He needs to know you are there for him. And you need to know all of us here will be thinking of you, hoping for the best.

Mofo Rising · February 05, 2011, 03:16:29 AM

Like everybody else, I am hoping for the best for you. I don't have any words of wisdom or advice, just the hope that you will find the strength to make it through to the best of your situation.

Killer Bees · February 05, 2011, 03:35:06 AM

Quote from: Newt on February 05, 2011, 02:41:35 AM
KB obviously I don't know either of you, but my first thought was that he is protecting you. It does sound as though things have become overwhelming for him on the home front. It is possible it is easier for him to keep it together and deal with those problems by keeping you separate and untouched by the unpleasantness. I agree that your e-mail was the best thing you could have done. He needs to know you are there for him. And you need to know all of us here will be thinking of you, hoping for the best.

Thanks Newt, your words give me hope. He's always said that I didn't sign up for the madness of his life and that's why he doesn't tell me anything, in spite of the fact that when I'm at his house I get on very well with his kids and they like me a lot.

Everyone here has been so wonderful to me and I sincerely hope that in the not too distant future I will be able to post wonderful news about Sean and I.

Killer Bees · February 05, 2011, 03:41:04 AM

Quote from: Mofo Rising on February 05, 2011, 03:16:29 AM
Like everybody else, I am hoping for the best for you. I don't have any words of wisdom or advice, just the hope that you will find the strength to make it through to the best of your situation.

Thanks Mofo. I appreciate your sentiment

macabre · February 05, 2011, 04:59:32 AM

hi luv
My heart is aching with the pain you are going through at this moment.I shall tell you something about myself that ii hope will help you.
Ten years ago my life changed i believe for the better,My son Callum was born,Callum is severely disabled and has a condition called Lissencephaly he also suffers from Epilepsy.My wife suffered a severe physical and nervous breakdown when my son was born and for many years i cared both for her and my son but with strength and determination we came through.Seven years ago i decided that my "calling" was to help disabled children as well as their family,s. So i went to university and i eventually secured a job as headteacher at a local S.E.N. school.I have several aspergers children in my school and my heart breaks for your partner and the awful stress he is having to cope with.I cannot begin to say i know what he is going through except that all he does he shall do for his children's benefit. I know that you are a loving and devoted lady and your partner will love you for that. Many people cannot comprehend the difficulty in looking after children with aspergers and your partners fathers attitude is common with he older generation indeed aspergers is relatively new and for a long time it was assumed that the child was being "naughty" and was "just going through a phase" . I do not know if your partner has a computer but if he does then perhaps if you could show him this post and he could see how much you care forhim and that you have so many friends who will not only help you but will be here for him . I wish i could wave a wand and find an easy solution for you but alas i cannot. i am now and always hall be here if you wish for any advice.

good luck

RCMerchant · February 05, 2011, 05:22:20 AM

I feel so sorry for you Bees. To lose a loved one is heartrending-I know.
But dont feel its the end-you seem like a beautiful caring person-and as hard as it is to move on-you will. And you will find love again. Life is long-and full of heartbreak-but it can change in a heartbeat. You WILL find love-Im sure. Bless your heart. If it's any help-we love you here at Bad movies-! Your family. If you need to talk-
269-624-2391. I have been missing my wife since 2008-people say it gets easier over time-I dont believe it.I love and miss Tara Sue more each day. But you will survive,dear. And you will find love-no way that you couldnt. If people you have never met on the internet (thats us) feel this way-dam. Youll be ok,sweetheart.

Killer Bees · February 05, 2011, 05:55:38 AM

Thank you Macabre and RC. I've been cyring on and off all day, especially at the wonderful outpouring of support and sympathy you have all shown me.

Macabre, that's a wonderful story. I'd never experienced Aspergers before and although I couldn't initially tell his kids had it, once I got to know them I could see little things. But they are great kids and I love them dearly. I must admit, I was a little wary about a future with Sean, especially the living together thing. We talked about it and I did wonder how I would cope if I moved in. But I believed that love would find a way. Maybe I didn't hide my uncertainty as well as I should have but I'd never dated a man with kids before, let alone 2 out of 3 who had special needs.

He was always wonderful about it and understood my hesitation. He did say it was a big ask for me. But it's early days still and I believed that as time went on, I would eventually be exposed to one of the boys' meltdowns and I would finally understand what he goes through every day. I actually wanted to see a meltdown because I was getting worried that I truly wouldn't be able to cope with it. But the opportunity never came and then he left.

It's the not knowing that gets to me. I just hope that he doesn't do the "noble" thing by staying away. I just that hope that he misses me so much that he has to come back.

RCMerchant · February 05, 2011, 06:03:36 AM

If he doesnt come back,hes passing up a once in a lifetime thing. Not many would be as caring and as much patience as you had. Again-Bless your heart.

Killer Bees · February 05, 2011, 06:19:32 AM

Quote from: RCMerchant on February 05, 2011, 06:03:36 AM
If he doesnt come back,hes passing up a once in a lifetime thing. Not many would be as caring and as much patience as you had. Again-Bless your heart.

Thanks RC, You're a good man. As long as I don't fall into the trap of mainlining peanut butter, I should come good. But the jar I'm eating out of is nearly empty and it's Australian made and owned so at least I'm keeping the economy propped up with my bad habits!