Alien

[Draug]

The only thing the alien wanted was a hug but everyone kept misinterpreting it's intensions.

[Robocop]

"Why are you crying, am I that ass ugly?"

[retrorussell]

Come on baby, don't cry.. he couldn't love you like I love you.  What do you say we make some face huggers together?  Come on honey, you know you want to...

[Leah]

You mean I married a man from outer space?!

[Jack]

Oh god, I should have known this would happen.  Six lines of dialogue in the first hour of the movie   

[venomx]

Lambert: NOoooO! (crying) NooOo, damn it! You CAN'T* have my oxygen tanks.

Alien: Huh? OXYGEN? Dude... I just wanted a hug. WTF.

[Doggett]

Can you imagine the true horror...
Of being stuck with Veronica Cartwright in deep space?

[venomx]

Alien: AwWw! Now calm down, relax, just tell big brother what happened, OK.

Lambert: Well.... *sniff sniff* he took my lunch money and called me funny names.

Alien: Hmmm... you want me to spit green acid in his face for ya?

Lambert: No. I want you to punch a hole in his head with your crazy tongue.

[Chainsawmidget]

The first ever interplanetary "make a funny face" competition got off to a good enough start, but was doomed to end horribly. 

[Hammock Rider]

 


Ms. Rivers, please, enough with the plastic surgery already.

[venomx]

*THIS WILL NOT END WELL*

[retrorussell]

"Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal..."
(girl is nonplussed)
"Oh come on, don't tell me you never saw Spaceballs..!"

[sprite75]

You bastard!  How could you leave me for Mr. Spock?!

[AndyC]

"I just don't enjoy postmodern surrealist art!"

[Mr. DS]

Alien:  "Hi!  Three Bud Lights and a shot of Wild Turkey, thanks!"