Main Menu

Odd Combinations at the Store

Started by Derf, June 13, 2011, 09:34:46 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Derf

I don't know why I do it except for my own amusement, but when I go to the store for just a few things, I try to group them into odd combinations that would make anyone paying attention wonder about me. Sometimes it's obvious, like buying three or four cans of chili and a large package of toilet paper. Sometimes it's pretty obscure, like the other day when I bought a box of Ensure breakfast drinks, a package of bar soap, and a single windshield wiper. While there's not necessarily any real life connection, it seems like there could be. I've passed this quirk down to my daughter--when I told her about the last trip, she laughed quite heartily. Does anybody else do anything like this, or am I alone on this one (except for my daughter, of course)?
"They tap dance not, neither do they fart." --Greensleeves, on the Fig Men of the Imagination, in "Twice Upon a Time."

HappyGilmore

I do this sometimes.  Sometimes at the larger stores like BJ's Wholesale or something, I pick up random things that normally don't correspond well or just leaves the cashier to ask questions.  Like, I bought some diapers, dog treats, oreos, cat litter and a bib. 

Another time, at the local convenience store I go to regularly, I picked up Windex, Paper Towels, butter and Hustler Magazine. :bouncegiggle:
"The path to Heaven runs through miles of clouded Hell."

Don't get too close, it's dark inside.
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide.

ghouck

#2
Once I bought a bag of Halloween candy, a bunch of pins, and some Drano a day or two before Halloween. I'm pretty sure they called the police.

I saw a guy buying a home pregnancy test, a plunger, and some Drano together once. I laughed.
Raw bacon is GREAT! It's like regular bacon, only faster, and it doesn't burn the roof of your mouth!

Happiness is green text in the "Stuff To Watch For" section.

James James: The man so nice, they named him twice.

"Aw man, this thong is chafing my balls" -Lloyd Kaufman in Poultrygeist.

"There's always time for lubricant" -Orlando Jones in Evolution

RCMerchant

Captain Crunch cereal and a pint of whiskey.
The sad thing is-I actually used it together.  :bluesad:
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

Flick James

I remember when I bought condoms as a young adult I would feel embarassed about checking out. Eventually I realized how stupid this was. Shouldn't it be more like "that's right. I'm getting laid tonight. What are YOU doing?"

Now, if I add to that purchase a bag of dog food, that might raise a eyebrow or two.
I don't always talk about bad movies, but when I do, I prefer badmovies.org

The Burgomaster

Well, there's the old "trick of youth" where you'd bring an armload of stuff to the checkout: gum, candy, aspirin, shampoo, a newspaper, shaving cream, a hat . . . and buried in the middle of the pile would be a 36-pack of ribbed condoms (as if no one would notice).  Most of the time, the person at the checkout counter would hold the condoms up high and keep twisting the package around looking for the price and everyone in the line would see what you were buying.
"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."

AndyC

I often go to the local hardware store and pick up items for more than one project. There are times when I wonder if anyone working there would assume I was planning on using them together, such as when I'm loading up on two or three completely incompatible kinds of paint. Or heavy electrical cable and speaker wire. Or a weird assortment of plumbing and electrical parts to be used as structural components of something, that would seem like I was really messing something up if anybody assumed I was using them for their usual purpose.
---------------------
"Join me in the abyss of savings."

AndyC

Quote from: The Burgomaster on June 14, 2011, 09:39:54 AM
Well, there's the old "trick of youth" where you'd bring an armload of stuff to the checkout: gum, candy, aspirin, shampoo, a newspaper, shaving cream, a hat . . . and buried in the middle of the pile would be a 36-pack of ribbed condoms (as if no one would notice).  Most of the time, the person at the checkout counter would hold the condoms up high and keep twisting the package around looking for the price and everyone in the line would see what you were buying.

Shaving cream and condoms together might get you a funny look.
---------------------
"Join me in the abyss of savings."

Flick James

Quote from: The Burgomaster on June 14, 2011, 09:39:54 AM
Well, there's the old "trick of youth" where you'd bring an armload of stuff to the checkout: gum, candy, aspirin, shampoo, a newspaper, shaving cream, a hat . . . and buried in the middle of the pile would be a 36-pack of ribbed condoms (as if no one would notice).  Most of the time, the person at the checkout counter would hold the condoms up high and keep twisting the package around looking for the price and everyone in the line would see what you were buying.

Even better. Now the clerk is announcing to the store: "this guy is getting laid tonight and I'm not."
I don't always talk about bad movies, but when I do, I prefer badmovies.org

Cthulhu

I saw a picture of a woman buying a cucumber and a big bottle of wine.
And that's all she bought.

Flick James

Quote from: Cthulhu on June 14, 2011, 09:52:15 AM
I saw a picture of a woman buying a cucumber and a big bottle of wine.
And that's all she bought.

Was she hot? If so, well, that's just a crying shame.
I don't always talk about bad movies, but when I do, I prefer badmovies.org

venomx

QuoteCthulhu
I saw a picture of a woman buying a cucumber and a big bottle of wine.
And that's all she bought.



LMAO!

Ed, Ego and Superego

In college walmart had a a display of huge sausages... I had a standing bet that I would pay anyone $20 to buy one and a thing of oil or whatever.  No one ever did.
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes

RCMerchant

Quote from: The Burgomaster on June 14, 2011, 09:39:54 AM
Well, there's the old "trick of youth" where you'd bring an armload of stuff to the checkout: gum, candy, aspirin, shampoo, a newspaper, shaving cream, a hat . . . and buried in the middle of the pile would be a 36-pack of ribbed condoms (as if no one would notice).  Most of the time, the person at the checkout counter would hold the condoms up high and keep twisting the package around looking for the price and everyone in the line would see what you were buying.

I recall in the early 80's I was sick home from work-I walked to the store and bought a pint of whiskey,some flu medicine,a package of bagels and cream cheese-and a HUSTLER magazine.

I didn't think about it too much then.
But a bagel,booze and Hustler...I wonder if the clerk thought I was getting my courage with booze,my blood going with the mag - to have a date with a warm bagel.
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

Torgo

A couple of years ago, there was guy in front of me in the line who had the following items: 1) Vaseline 2) mayonnaise 3) body oil 4) foot powder and 5) a massive jar of pickles.
"There is no way out of here. It'll be dark soon. There is no way out of here."