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Gorath. 1962.

Started by Svengoolie 3, August 05, 2019, 11:58:28 PM

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Svengoolie 3

Oh man,  what have I gotten myself into?

I mean, trying to review a movie like gorath is  just... a sticky wicket

OK, gorath is a Japanese sci fi movie that tries to deal with a more realistic menace than silly aliens and giant monsters. Unfortunately one is forced into the movie but more on that later.

Deep breath,  deep breath, deep breath.... OK,  let's get into the movie.

In the far future world of 1979 AD,  a Japanese rocketship (pointy cylnger with big fins and a blue white torch flame coming out the rear that leaves a trail of rising smoke in vacuum. Honestly guys,  film the rocket pointed down with the camera aimed right ast it so the smoke trail doesn't rise,  would ya?) Is sent to explore the planet Saturn.

As it is heading out it receives word from earth that there is somethjng odd at the edge of the solar system, maybe a new planet moving into it.  They switch course to head for the outer system because,  y'know, in the  near future  rockets will have infinite fuel and carry huge amounts of food,  air and water.

They find  a big red glowing ball that makes an annoying high pitched electronic noise. Instruments say it has like 6000 x earth's gravity but is smaler than earth. The conclusions are that this object,  dubbed gorath for some (unexplained) reason, is probably the  core of an exploded star and the rocket has no chance of escaping it's gravity at this point. The captain has to explain this to a younger  crewman.

This movie was made in 1962, if it had been made a few years later the crew may have seen star trek and tried a slingshot maneuver to escape. As is r they  gallantly accept their death in true samurai fashion.

Astronomers determine it is likely gorath will either directly destroy earth or throw it out of it's  orbit,  resulting in all life on earth dying, in 2 years.

Meanwhile on earth it's  Christmas  in japan and apparently guys celebrate it  by dressing up in robot costumes and creeping out women. Seriously a character in the movie basically creeps out and frightens a couple Japanese women because he's interested in one of them during public Christmas celebrations.  

So a plan is hatched to save earth from the indestructible, unalterable object. Nuclear rockets will be built at the south pole (Santa has a mortal lock on the north one.) and will generate 6 billion, 600 million megwtons of thrust to move earth out of gorath's way.

BTW,  the figure of 6,600,000,000 megatons was not just  pulled out of somene's ass.  An actual college physicist was hired to do some figurin' and write down equations on a board relating to the plan. A tiny touch of realism is a sea of fantasy.

A new rocket is sent out with a crewman who is a love interest to one of the two women creeped out by the doof in the robot suit. The rocket is sent to gather more data on gorath and confirm it's  course.  Yep,  headed right for earth.

For some reason Lt. Loverboy is put in a capsule and sent out on a cable to get a better look at gorath because,  you know,  a camera in a pod on a cable or better yet a good telescope in the ship just couldn't do the job. He sees gorath's surface as it sucks in the detritus of the solar system and it's a vast hellish flaming ocean. Apparently he is driven to utter shock by the awesome scale of the inferno, and goes into a catatonic state. Fortunately he's  rescued by ensign doof, having traded his robot suit for a space suit. (He recovers at a dramatic point later.)

BTW to say characterization in gorath is terrible is an understatement. The aforementioned pair of women harassed by the doofus in the robot  suit I mentioned? One was in love with a man who died on the rocket. Another character in the movie decides now's  a great time to hit on her,  what will everyone likely dying in 2 years he has to work fast to avoid dying a virgin. So while visiting her he takes the picture of her dead hero lover and tosses it out the window after she shoots him drown .    


WHISKEY....
TANGO...
FOXTROT?!?!?!?

Seriously, some of the characters in the movie make a good argument for not saving the human race.

A highlight of gorath is a long scene of toys and models being moved across a model of Antarctica, building the massive atomic rockets that will save  earth.  If you want to see a scene of high tech machines building a massive complex,  I recommend the old black and white movie "Things to come" that did it muuuch better. I can almost imagine the  director shouting at the effects team  "Come on guys! My son gets home from school in an hour and I gotta have his toys back in his room before then! "

Then along comes that giant monster I told you got shoved in the movie....

A giant walrus (no,  you  can't have any of what I'm smoking because i'm not smoking anything!) comes out of nowhere and wreaks havoc on the rocket complex, and probably the hands and knees of the poor sap having to crawl around in this ridiculous costume for the 6 minutes "Maguma" is in the movie before being killed by a laser beam fired from a jet that later went on to serve in the science patrol in the original Ultraman series.

The american cut of gorath left this silly looking monster out of the movie and was better for it. Alledgely the director was forced to put  in a giant monster because some suit thought the movie had to have one. Apparently  he made the monster look as stupid as possible to reflect his opinion of it's  inclussion. The scene is easily deleted from the movie with no loss to it.

Well,  the rockets fire and all seems well until it's  realized gorath's size and gravity have increased as it ate it's  way thru the solar system to earth.  Oh noes!  One scene in the movie featured gorath pulling the rings off Saturn and absorbing them,  tho oddly not saturn's moons or Saturn himself which would have certainly happened in reality.


Gorath's increased gravity means that neither the moon or earth's massive space stations can be saved.  The stations are landed on earth, to be destroyed later by typhoons and floods, while the moon ends  Up becomig one with gorath. (Damn,  how will the Japanese emperor have sex with the moon goddess now?)

A full description of the disaster that earth would suffer from Losing the moon would be quite large, please forgive me if I just give you a link to an astronomical article about it. https://www.popsci.com/what-would-happen-if-moon-suddenly-disappeared/


Earth flies thanks to a big glowey effect matted onto  the bottom of a picture of it,  floods, storms,  earthquakes wrack the planet,  millions and millions die, global devastation,  but in the end earth survives (well, asides from that whole side effects of losing the moon thing if you checked the link ) and all humanity Joins hands,  sings kum by yah and goes onto live in peace and harmony. (Until that whole side effects of no more moon.... Read the article.)


What can I say? Gorath was part of a aeries of Japanese sci-fi movies. In a lot of ways it was the least entertaining partly because it took itself waaay to seriously and plodedd too much. Also because the cheap looking toys and models were  spectacularly unconvincing.

Honestly if you want to numb your mind with some Japanese sci-fi that  doesn't orbit around a giant monster, there are better choices for entertainment value. The mysterians, battle in outer space, the green slime,  etc.

And yes I looked some stuff  up as it's been a while since I saw this.


The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.

Svengoolie 3

BTW as an astronomical note if something like gorath, possibly a stellar fragment, we're to enter the solar system and be spotted it would  almost certainly be named "nemesis", as there is  a long standing theory that there  may be a "dark  companion" of the sun orbiting rh solar system as extreme range and at is swings thru its long orbit it disturbs objected in the kuiper belt and cometary halo,  sending them into the inner solar system and occasionally hitting earth.

This theory is currently not believed likely but if an object like a star or stars core entered the system It would certainly be named nemesis.

https://www.space.com/22538-nemesis-star.html
The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.

Kowdisc

I alwaysa watch just to see the demise of the rocketship hawk...

'sometimes a scientist must be a soldier...die like one!"
:bouncegiggle: