Rules for making bad movies.

[Dr. Whom]

You can't go wrong with a gorilla costume

[Svengoolie 3]

"Just hire good looking people, we can give them tips on acting."

"Harryhausen is too expensive? Have some Mexican outfit make the space bird monster then. "

[Gabriel Knight]

Deus Ex Machina can pass as good writing as long it's been used before in famous franchises, like STAR WARS.

[pacman000]

Why pay someone to hold a mike boom? ADR everything!