Review of Garbage Pail Kids MOvie (circa 87)

[lester1/2jr]

http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/1987-09-05/features/8703110946_1_garbage-pail-kids-cabbage-patch-kids-kids-show


Trashy `Garbage Pail Kids` Has No Value


September 5, 1987|By JUAN CARLOS COTO, Special to the News/Sun-Sentinel


The Garbage Pail Kids Movie is one of the worst ever made.

These disgusting tykes, who appear on Topps chewing gum cards, gained national fame two years ago when parents called for them to be banned as offensive rip-offs of the famous Cabbage Patch Kids dolls.








Fruitless efforts to keep the lid on the Garbage Pail Kids only increased their popularity, resulting in a film that not only is revolting because of its main characters` obnoxious habits, but because of how badly it is executed.

When the Kids appear on the screen, they are just what they seem to be -- little people in costume heads. They talk without moving their mouths and their almost expressionless faces seem to be made of concrete.

Down to par with the not-so-special effects, the film tries to tell the contrived story of Dodger, a kid who works at an antique store owned by Cap`n Manzini (played by an apparently shameless Anthony Newley). Dodger is in the store trying to woo Tangerine, a beautiful older girl who lives next door. But when Tangerine`s boyfriend, the local (and very cliched) thug shows up, he doesn`t like Dodger moving in on his girl.

Their battle knocks over ``the pail`` in the store and opens what Cap`n Manzini labels a ``Pandora`s Box.``

The problem is that the horrors of the world released from Pandora`s Box weren`t flatulent and didn`t vomit or rub mucus all over their friends.

The Garbage Pail Kids try to be ugly versions of Steven Spielberg`s E.T. They`re dejected, far away from home and nobody likes them because they`re ugly.

Granted, they may not be the most appealing of kids -- but they are vulgar by choice, they weren`t born that way.

The erroneous logic of the Pandora`s Box metaphor runs throughout the whole film, which can`t seem to figure out if it`s a movie for children or adults.

As if this weren`t enough, pseudo-moralizing comes into play when the film attempts to pass off Dodger`s infatuation with Tangerine as innocent.

So innocent that Tangerine seduces Dodger.

Still, this excruciating movie doesn`t let up. After the Kids show a sudden talent for sewing and fashion, they decide to help Dodger impress Tangerine, who wants to be a fashion designer, with his flashy outfits.

There`s more absurd moralization when they ``help`` by breaking into a non- union sweatshop and stealing sewing machines. Appearently the fact that it`s a non-union sweatshop makes it right.






The Garbage Pail Kids should not be considered a children`s movie because it has no value and teaches none. The film only glorifies habits that kids outgrow before they`re old enough to even go to the movies.

In short, don`t lift the lid on the Garbage Pail Kids.

MOVIE REVIEW

(No stars) The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

The Garbage Pail Kids help a friend woo an aspiring fashion designer.

Credits: with Anthony Newley, Mackenzie Astin, Kate Barberi. Directed by Rod Amateau. Written by Melinda Palmer and Rod Amateau.
 

[Psycho Circus]

His expectations were clearly too high...

[lester1/2jr]

"The problem is that the horrors of the world released from Pandora`s Box weren`t flatulent and didn`t vomit or rub mucus all over their friends."

[bob]

After reading his review of that I can't help but wonder what he thought of Bucky Larson.

[The Burgomaster]

This review renews my interest in seeing this movie some day.

[JoeTheDestroyer]

Yeah, because everything aimed at kids just exudes positive values. 

[Mofo Rising]

This review renews my interest in seeing this movie some day.

As long as you can keep that dream an idea you will never follow through, the happier you will be.

Trust me, don't follow through. Nothing good can come of it.

[lester1/2jr]

I disagree. it's good.

[kakihara]

one of the greatest movies ever. the fashion, the music, the spirit and the peeing. brilliant. how can anybody deny this nostalgic piece piece of history? at the time when this was released, i can understand why it wasnt appreciated, people were stupid. they simply didnt have the capacity to fathom such greatness. they didnt have the internet either. i bet if those same people reviewed this movie now, they would sing a different tune.

[indianasmith]

Meh, I'll pass on this one and watch SUCKER PUNCH again.

[Psycho Circus]

I disagree. it's good.

Yeah, I really like it even though it is a bit of a train wreck. It's essentially a children's movie, so adults being overly critical of it is laughable.

[Leah]

Well now I want to view this train wreck of a movie.

[HappyGilmore]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otqf_v1rHYE

"Why don't you just tell him what's in there? A bunch of annoying little sh*ts who won't shut the hell up as soon as you open it."

[zelmo73]

His expectations were clearly too high...

I agree. This is like the silly review I read in some liberal newspaper about the Rambo (2008) movie as being "too violent". What else was that reviewer expecting from a Rambo movie, shaking hands and coming to a diplomatic solution with the enemy?

[Allhallowsday]

His expectations were clearly too high...

I agree. This is like the silly review I read in some liberal newspaper about the Rambo (2008) movie as being "too violent". What else was that reviewer expecting from a Rambo movie, shaking hands and coming to a diplomatic solution with the enemy?

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