I'm back: miss me?

[Trevor]

Gas masks at the ready........

I had an OK leave: the only thing that un-nerved me to the extent I posted about it over the weekend (and then later deleted the post) was that Mom got married last Friday which left me feeling bereft and numb all over. I was aware that things were getting serious between her and her man, but things are happening a little too fast for me to take it all in at once. I wasn't present at the wedding as Mom is home in the Western Cape now but I now have to deal with the fact that I have yet again been discarded in my life. 

[indianasmith]

You're looking at it altogether wrong, Trevor.  You have NOT been discarded.  You've simply gained a new family member, and your mom has decided to chase after happiness and love.  You are BOTH winners in this scenario!  It's just gonna feel a little awkward at first.

[Newt]

Oh Trevor.  I'm so sorry to hear you felt that way (past tense intentional), even momentarily.

This place - Badmovies.org - has always reminded me of Spider Robinson's Callahan's Saloon (and not just for the puns). The main point being what is known as Callahan's Law (also known as the Law of Conservation of Pain and Joy): "Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased"  I know you have found the truth of the first part here just as I know you have the heart for the second.  Sharing your mom's life and affections with someone she loves can only increase the happiness around all of you.  It's OK: your family just got bigger.  

[tracy]

You're looking at it altogether wrong, Trevor.  You have NOT been discarded.  You've simply gained a new family member, and your mom has decided to chase after happiness and love.  You are BOTH winners in this scenario!  It's just gonna feel a little awkward at first.

First of all....welcome back,my friend! It always seems a little more homey when you're here.

Second,Indy is quite right,dear. It will be a bit strange at first but you are both definitely winners here. Plus how could he not get to know you and not be crazy about you?

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

As a friend...
1) welcome back man!
2) You mom has raised you up and done a pretty good job of it.  Its her turn to have soem happiness.  I surely hope you can get on with her new husband.  I'm sorry you couldn't go.  You now have a choice, either deal with it or not.  At our age, you really don't want to lose your relationship with your mom over geography.

However this is an "OK to Pi$$, Moan and gripe zone".  Its good to have you back here
=Ed

[Andrew]

Welcome back! 

I can understand how mom getting married again would be awkward for you.  You should not feel discarded.  She is just following her heart about a spouse.  From my perspective, I love my wife and I love my children.  If I show love to one I am not forsaking the other.

And you always have a friend here.

[TheDope]

Never fret, Trevor.  Parents are parents; who can understand them?  You'll always have a family here that cares for you - underwear and all.   

[Trevor]

You're looking at it altogether wrong, Trevor.  You have NOT been discarded.  You've simply gained a new family member, and your mom has decided to chase after happiness and love.  You are BOTH winners in this scenario!  It's just gonna feel a little awkward at first.

Thanks, Indy.

"A little awkward" is putting it mildly: I have no idea what this man is like despite having spoken to him several times already (not face to face) but Mom seems happy.

[Trevor]

Oh Trevor.  I'm so sorry to hear you felt that way (past tense intentional), even momentarily.

This place - Badmovies.org - has always reminded me of Spider Robinson's Callahan's Saloon (and not just for the puns). The main point being what is known as Callahan's Law (also known as the Law of Conservation of Pain and Joy): "Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased"  I know you have found the truth of the first part here just as I know you have the heart for the second.  Sharing your mom's life and affections with someone she loves can only increase the happiness around all of you.  It's OK: your family just got bigger.  

*HUG* 

[Trevor]

First of all....welcome back,my friend! It always seems a little more homey when you're here.

Second,Indy is quite right,dear. It will be a bit strange at first but you are both definitely winners here. Plus how could he not get to know you and not be crazy about you?

Thanks, Tracy *HUG*.

Apparently, according to Mom, he is quite nervous about meeting me as I have made it clear to her that this relationship will not have my blessing until I meet and talk to him in order to see if his intentions are honorable in every way. Now that their relationship is something more, I guess I have to accept it but he must still know that if he hurts her in any way at all, I will find a way to harm him irreparably.

[Trevor]

As a friend...
1) welcome back man!
2) You mom has raised you up and done a pretty good job of it.  Its her turn to have soem happiness.  I surely hope you can get on with her new husband.  I'm sorry you couldn't go.  You now have a choice, either deal with it or not.  At our age, you really don't want to lose your relationship with your mom over geography.

However this is an "OK to Pi$$, Moan and gripe zone".  Its good to have you back here
=Ed

Thanks Ed: the idea of Mom being married is something I have to get used to as I just want the best for her but right now, I hurt like all hell because of what has happened.

[Trevor]

Welcome back! 

I can understand how mom getting married again would be awkward for you.  You should not feel discarded.  She is just following her heart about a spouse.  From my perspective, I love my wife and I love my children.  If I show love to one I am not forsaking the other.

And you always have a friend here.

Thank you, sir.

There are more pros than cons in this situation (Mom is in love, she's got a guy who loves her and can look after her, she will be going back to her birthplace eventually, most of her family is there etc) but I really hurt like hell.

[Trevor]

Never fret, Trevor.  Parents are parents; who can understand them?  You'll always have a family here that cares for you - underwear and all.   

I may be feeling bad but those last few words.... 

My undies are one of the cons I mentioned in my reply to Andrew. 

[alandhopewell]

    Glad to have you back!

[Allhallowsday]

It's good.  You'll see.  Love is the answer.