80,000 pounds of Walnuts stolen in California

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/31/80000-pounds-of-walnuts-stolen-california-accented-delivery0driver-imposter_n_2050181.html

If you see a guy in a van selling nuts, call the police.
-Ed

[Andrew]

The first thing that came to my mind is that the squirrels have enlisted human collaborators. 

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

One news site said local squirrels denied all knowledge.  Really!
-Ed

[Mr. DS]

It took a lot of nuts to pull this one off.

[Jack]

I was going to say that's the nuttiest thing I've ever heard, but DS beat me to the bad pun.   

[tracy]

The owners were reportedly shell shocked.

[Mr. DS]

^yes, the cracked under the pressure.