Nothing can numb the pain I feel right now...

[Trevor]

I'm sorry you're hurting,Trev.....you're such a caring son. Just let time ease the pain and make sure you keep telling yourself how happy she is now. And how much she knows that you're strong enough to deal.
(((HUGS!!!)))

Hugs right back at you, SisterT 

[Pilgermann]

You know we love you, Trevor.  You'll be OK.  I'm sure it's one of those easier said than done situations, but given time I think you'll be fine, sir.  Best to you and to your mother!

[Trevor]

I didn't have to deal with that as the last decade or better of my mother's life was a battle with Parkinson's, dementia, and depression; and the latter to a degree on both parts. Those last years I rarely saw her smile, rarely saw her happy, and were certainly painful years for me dealing with her disease, seeing her mind go, and eventually watching her die suddenly one morning in which my efforts to save her failed.

That is incredibly sad, Dr M: I had no idea that happened to you.   I also still feel responsible for not being able to help Dad in 2008 ~ I got there two hours too late.

The familiarity of your world may have changed, and you may not have the comfort of knowing you will be just around the corner for her, but if she's happy and has reason to smile, she's ahead of the game. Take comfort in her new found happiness. It will take time to adjust, but when the years ahead are filled with potential and the chance at a life and happiness for someone....well, not everybody has that chance, and that's something to celebrate. It may not seem like a celebration now, but your mother has an opportunity mine didn't. Years ago, and in your shoes, without having seen the future, I don't know how I would have reacted, but I would have probably felt along the same lines as you. Having seen what did become of my mother and how her life degraded, and given the opportunity to go back and do things differently, well that's an opportunity that doesn't exist.

Thanks, I will try but it is so bloody hard.  

You and your do have an opportunity, a threshold in life that I never saw. That's not something to be sad about or feel guilty about, but to be embraced that you have it, and to know how special that is. Call her on the phone, tell her you love her, laugh with her, and yes, be a shoulder to cry on and a second home where she's always welcome for as long as she wants. As the years pass and you remember the moments of happiness in your mother's life, and she can share things with you, and tell you how her day has been going....these are special moments to be had, and hold onto.
Hope I'm not being out of place....just wanted to share.

All I can say to that is: thank you and *HUG*

I must add that it took me three tries to read what you wrote: I succeeded the third time but I cried the first and the second time.  

[Trevor]

     It'll be okay, man; you love her, and you want her to be happy. Just give yourself time to adjust.

Thanks, Brother Alan: I will have my rare beer on Christmas Day and New Year's Day and will think of you. 

[Trevor]

Nothing can keep you down, man.  You're an African!

Thanks, Brother Akira: That is true: I don't know why I'm being such a wuss about it.

After awhile, knowing your Mother is happy and secure will bring you nothing but joy.

If all works out, I should be seeing her in February for her 80th so I hope all will be well.

[Trevor]

You know we love you, Trevor.  

Aww.... there go my waterworks again. *HUG*

You'll be OK.  I'm sure it's one of those easier said than done situations, but given time I think you'll be fine, sir.  Best to you and to your mother!

Thanks, Brother P.  

[trekgeezer]

I feel for you brother Trev, but just be thankful you still have her,  I lost my Dad , in 1988 and My mom in 1994.


I would pick up the phone on the weekend and get ready to dial her up and then realize she wasn't there any more.

It will be tough for a while, but time will make eventually make it feel better.     

You have a lot to friends to fall back on when it gets really tough.     We love you man and you can lean on us any time. 

[bob]

You can take solice in knowing that your mom is happy, which will  ease the pain.

[retrorussell]

Relax and keep in contact with her as often as possible.  If she's happy with the new guy he must be a real peach!  Don't fret; hang out with us when you get low!  Or watch MIDNIGHT.. yeah, that'll make you feel better!

[Allhallowsday]

Your Mom is very fortunate to find love late in life; it's a rare thing.  Be happy for her.

We're thinking of you. 

[Menard]

We're thinking of you. 

But he's the only one thinking of you in your underpants.

[Trevor]

You have a lot to friends to fall back on when it gets really tough.     We love you man and you can lean on us any time. 

Awww..... thanks, BrotherTrek.

[Trevor]

You can take solice in knowing that your mom is happy, which will  ease the pain.

Thanks, Brotherbob: she is happy but she asks me each day when we talk on the phone if I am OK, as if she senses something. She does know how I felt and feel about the situation and she knows that while I am genuinely happy for her, internally I feel as abandoned as I did when my birth parents abandoned me.

[Trevor]

Relax and keep in contact with her as often as possible.  If she's happy with the new guy he must be a real peach!  Don't fret; hang out with us when you get low!

I will do that, thanks, BrotherRussell.  

Or watch MIDNIGHT.. yeah, that'll make you feel better!

OOOOOO [expletive deleted] NOOOOOOO: nothing could be worse than that.  

Just FYI: www.kalahari.com has Midnightfor sale at SAR187.00 (that's about $19): should I buy it or not?

[Trevor]

Your Mom is very fortunate to find love late in life; it's a rare thing.  Be happy for her.

We're thinking of you. 

Thanks, BrotherAHD.