My sister in law died suddenly tonight behind the wheel of her jeep

[Allhallowsday]

I hope you'll try to think of this cruel anniversary as marking one year closer til you meet again, John.

Not cruel; just sad.  I think I admire loyalty most.  I don't expect anything from life, except opportunity. 

I hope you adopted a new cat companion or two to hold onto.

Years ago my cat came from Gayle, and was named by her.  No more cats at this time; my cat does not care for cats or dogs.  Though from a house of many cats and dogs, and living here with two dogs then one, I have had bad experiences trying to reintroduce him.  Stray cats are fed here, and if around long enough, introductions don't bode well.  I think my cat is too old and spoiled now.  

[Allhallowsday]

 

My BIG little piece of Gayle... my little BIG piece of Gayle...

[chefzombie]

she's a cutie from what i can see! 

[Allhallowsday]

^ It's a "he", I've posted that before in this thread, and most importantly, he is very ill. 

[chefzombie]

   i'm so sorry...

[Allhallowsday]

  i'm so sorry...

It's okay, thank you.  We are on bought time, a crap shoot, and hope.  For the first time in his 10.5 year life, he slept next to me last night. 

[RCMerchant]

Man, that's bummed. 

[Allhallowsday]

He's still with us.  He slept beside me again last night.  I haven't a clue or 2 nickels to rub together.  I hope.   

[Allhallowsday]

He's still with us.  He slept beside me again last night.  I haven't a clue or 2 nickels to rub together.  I hope.   

He's laying on the chair next to mine, purring.  It's been a month and he's much better.  My Christmas present.   

[Allhallowsday]

It's been six weeks since my cat's transfusion.  I suspect the steroid keeps him going, the only med he gets now.  He might have slowed down the last few days.  I have great hope to keep him with me.  I hope that the universe will smile on me. 

[chefzombie]

i hope so too, john. 

[Allhallowsday]

Today I researched the last option that is a terrible choice.  I cannot abide suffering.  My cat has slid back, weaker than before.  I keep my feelings to myself, except I share them with this forum.  It's like a journal.  I am surprised by the depth of my feelings.  I behave like a weepy baby.  I thought I was stronger.  I guess I can take anything, and acceptance is necessary.  No matter how hard life can be, it can always be harder.  I haven't been this wrecked since Gayle died. 

[RCMerchant]

I cried like a baby when my dog Ted died. It's good to cry.

[Allhallowsday]

I cried like a baby when my dog Ted died. It's good to cry.

I admit tears to me are suspect.  I believe in strength and control.  Crying is easy, particularly for people like me.  I have been well trained and when my brother was dying, my "rule" with Gayle was:  "No tears."  But, I was there through the worst of that experience, and I was there and held her twice in the midst of her tears.  My best friend could do no wrong and thinking about her I get that heartache belly lurch.  It's like being a body rolling in the surf, powerless.  It's a crashing wave.  Here it comes.

Thanks my friend. 

[chefzombie]

i wish we could do more to help you john..