Clowns with sex toys attack family at haunted house.

[sprite75]

What the hell is going on with the clowns these days?

In a Circuit Court complaint filed yesterday, Regina Janito, 38, claimed that she and her child, a high school student, were confronted by the pair on October 11 as they approached the Massacre Haunted House in Montgomery, a village about 45 miles from Chicago.

The Janitos, who were accompanied by three other children, were allegedly attacked by haunted house worker Robert Keller, 23, and another man, both of whom were "dressed in clown costumes." Keller was "holding a vibrating, purple sex toy"  and the other clown was holding a teddy bear with a vibrator attached to the stuffed animal's "groin area."

As Janito sought to reach the ticket window around 7:45 PM, the two clowns allegedly surrounded her daughter. Keller, according to the lawsuit, "began to violently poke the Minor in various parts of her body, including her buttocks." The other clown "inserted the Teddy Bear Vibrator into his own mouth and began simulating oral sex."

The complaint accuses Keller of yelling "Do you want some more?" and "You know you like it in the butt!" at the girl. When Janito sought to intercede, Keller waved the purple vibrator in her face "in a threatening manner." While doing this, he commented, "You like this!," the complaint charges.

No, don't send in the clowns.  Not if they're going to be total creeps.

[indianasmith]

You know, there are times for goofy puns and snide remarks.

And there are times to punch immature jerks in the face.

I hope we all know which one this is!

[sprite75]

You know, there are times for goofy puns and snide remarks.

And there are times to punch immature jerks in the face.

I hope we all know which one this is!

And if the clowns are like that one in Uncle Buck then remember you have to hit 'em twice.

[Bushma]

Only one thing to do with clowns. Kill them with fire!!!

[Flangepart]

Try that in some parts of Columbus, you get a double tap to the chest with a follow up to the head.
Yeah...me no like clowns.