Things your Dad usta say.

[ER]

"You weren't a surprise to us, honey, you were a shock."

[ER]

"The reason I didn't tell you I was having stents put in my heart was I didn't want to concern you, or listen to you worry over me til I prayed for the sweet release of death. Plus I knew if I told you afterward you couldn't hit me because after all, I'd just had heart surgery."

[ER]

"You're looking at a man who had the temerity to marry a seventeen-year-old Irish girl. After pulling that off I don't think anything could ever scare me again."

[Allhallowsday]

"The people were so hungry I saw children lifting the fat from our trash cans like it was the most delectable food..." 

[ER]

(Okay, okay, my family is finally a few minutes from home and I can go to bed, so one more Dad quote for the road....)

"When you were a kid you asked me why the Easter Bunny and Santa had handwriting that looked so much alike, so I thought fast and told you it was because they both went to the same school."

[Allhallowsday]

"For the love of Christ, Ellie, I grounded you, OK, you act like I put you in solitary confinement with Hitler's wife."

That might be interesting. I would like to talk to her. Maybe even try to get in her pants!
It couldn't be that hard. I mean-Hitler managed to do it- and he was Hitler!

  This is so damned funny!   

[chainsaw midget]

"There was only one man ever born perfect and they crucified him for it."

[RCMerchant]

"There was only one man ever born perfect and they crucified him for it."

That is something that would get a laugh out of me and a Jap slap from my Dad. (Another Dadism- Jap Slap. WTF?!)

[RCMerchant]

I find myself talking just like my father. DAM. 

[ER]

"There was only one man ever born perfect and they crucified him for it."

That is something that would get a laugh out of me and a Jap slap from my Dad. (Another Dadism- Jap Slap. WTF?!)

WWII "slap a Jap."

[Allhallowsday]

"There was only one man ever born perfect and they crucified him for it."

That is something that would get a laugh out of me and a Jap slap from my Dad. (Another Dadism- Jap Slap. WTF?!)

WWII "slap a Jap."

You are correct.  Except, it's worth pointing out that a "Jap slap" was partly inspired by then current WWII movies, in which women were often subject to a "Jap slap" though I can't say I heard that term in a movie...  part of the U.S. propaganda was to vilify our enemies.  
My father served in the European theater and the "fat" story I mentioned above was about his experience. 

[ER]

This one came from my grandpa: "Growing up, if somebody picked a fight with me, I usually ignored him unless he badmouthed my mother, then I'd knock him flat, pick him up, and knock him flat again."  

[ER]

(As he was walking me down the aisle at my wedding.) "Still time to change your mind and go for child support."

[RCMerchant]

I think he just meant karate. "Jap slap." He was stationed in Japan alot when he was in the Navy in Korea. But it could have meant anything to that crazy old bastard.

[ER]

"I couldn't wait to get home. I sat and stared at my watch like it was a supermodel's derriere."